Top Ten Most Bizarre News Headlines

PositronWildhawk

The Top Ten

1 Dead Man Remains Dead

Breaking news! Retweeted all over! - CityGuru

2 Drugs Runner Hid Crack In His Pants

When that guy's released, then, I suppose everyone would be laughing right in his face. - PositronWildhawk

I couldn't decide which was the funniest to vote for but I actually remember this one and it 'cracked' me up then and it's doing the same now! :D - Britgirl

Laugh out loud I totes remember this headline.

3 Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

I bet the bus driver thought it was a good idea too. - Britgirl

4 Psychics Predict World Did Not End Yesterday

I don't need to predict it, I know for certain. And I'm also not a psychic. - PositronWildhawk

WOW GOOD JOB PSYCHICS!
TOO BAD I'm NOT THAT SMART - MoldySock

5 Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft

...Haha! ... GAS...FART! Sorry. It's an illness of which I hope there's no cure. - Britgirl

6 Man Charged Over Falling Bomb

I saw this on BBC News once. It may be a serious issue, but how did the anchor girl keep a straight face? - PositronWildhawk

7 British Push Bottles Up Germans
8 Miners Refuse To Work After Death
9 Person Murdered Appears to Be Dead

You don't say... - Entranced98

10 Man Denies Comitting Suicide

At this point he should be acquitted. - Epekov

Gasp! We all know he did it

I knew it was him, I just KNEW... - TwilightKitsune

The Contenders

11 Fewer Blows to the Head Would Reduce Brain Damage

No! You don't say!

12 Thieves Get Nicked

It comes to something when not even thieves are safe from thieves! :D - Britgirl

13 Man Announces Plan to Hunt Donald Trump and Feed Him to His Family
14 Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
15 Man Banned From All Libraries on Earth

He was openly jacking off. He didn't even do it between the shelves, too! - BlueTopazIceVanilla

16 Princess Diana Alive Hours Before She Died

YA DON'T SAY? - BlueTopazIceVanilla

17 Textron Inc. Makes Offer To Screw Company Stockholders

Awkward, that. Is it their own company stockholders that they don't like? - PositronWildhawk

18 Puddle Splash Victim Vows Revenge
19 Police Hunt Man After String Of Sex Assaults On Buses
20 Man Arrested For Chewing Pencil
21 Rapist Gets Raped
22 Scientists Find Aliens Residing in Village
23 Cop Shot At By Unarmed Black Man

Saw this recently, and my immediate thought was, any idiot can see through this contradiction in terms. But I subsequently imagined just the type of idiot who wouldn't. - PositronWildhawk

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List Stats

23 listings
5 years, 295 days old

Top Remixes

1. Drugs Runner Hid Crack In His Pants
2. British Push Bottles Up Germans
3. Thieves Get Nicked
Britgirl
1. Person Murdered Appears to Be Dead
2. Man Announces Plan to Hunt Donald Trump and Feed Him to His Family
3. Man Banned From All Libraries on Earth
NuMetalManiak
1. Dead Man Remains Dead
2. Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
3. Man Charged Over Falling Bomb
PositronWildhawk

WRemix

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