I Love Being Olive Bread

For thirteen years I have been in the form of olive bread, sitting on a shelf watching the world go by. Sometimes I am in a bread basket. Sometimes I'm being eaten alive and being vomited out again. Sweet, sweet, life (apart from the last sentence).

But why olive bread? Why didn't I choose to be a piece of cheddar cheese or a rubber duck, floating in someone's bathtub?

You see, there are many different forms of bread, like the humble French baguette, or the deliciously crunchy breadstick. Both those examples are well known and enjoyed in th world, so I went for something a little bit... unusual.

Olive bread, unlike other breads in the world, is laced with whole olives, being the perfect combination of bread and olives. Olive bread is handcrafted by skilled bakers. It is said to originate in Greece, where the majority of olives in Europe grow, perhaps the world.

So why exactly do I love being olive bread?

I love being unique, and containing a food ingredient that people get sick of and hate after eating so many of them. I love being in the darkness of a cupboard, or just chilling in the fridge. Sometimes, while I'm exploring the world in my bread basket, I bask in the noise of busy towns and cities, or just watching cattle graze as I'm travelling through the countryside.

But life's not all bread baskets and cattle. Oh no.

Sometimes it's like a horror movie. Can you imagine having a knife plunged into you, and then having half of you sawed off? And then being eaten alive in a fancy restaurant with a dinky little orchestra in the corner? Or how about being shredded as you go down the waste disposal thing in the sink? Being attcked by rabid birds? How would you react if you were burning alive in gastric acid? Or how about human excreetion?

But take a deep breath, reader, that hasn't happened to me yet.

So now do you realise why I love being olive bread?


Containing a food ingredient that people get sick of and hate after eating so many of them? Preposterous statement! I can't get enough of olives! - PositronWildhawk

Whoa you actually did it - 2storm

Best post ever. - RalphBob