Top Ten Cave Story Fan Theories

xandermartin98

The Top Ten

1 Balrog is a toaster
2 Quote is an idiot
3 Jack is actually black

Jack Black. Get it? - xandermartin98

4 Mahin was actually born from Kazuma's butt

Laughing out loud at this one as I type. Seriously, what? - xandermartin98

5 Mahin actually ate Jack when the two of them were locked together in a jail cell

Poor adorable little thing... - xandermartin98

6 Jack starved to death in the jail cell because Mahin ate all the food
7 Kazuma actually literally ate a cockroach at one point
8 The Doctor is weak against apples
9 Misery is a furry
10 Jack is secretly gay for King

And this is officialy a joke lol

It's not called being gay it's called being fabulous - xandermartin98

The Contenders

11 Jack is smart/nerdy because he wears glasses

By far my favorite one. - xandermartin98

12 Mimigas reproduce through spores
13 Jack is narcissistic
14 Balrog is a TV
15 Balrog is a suitcase
16 Balrog is a lunchbox
17 Ballos has balls of steel
18 Toroko and Sue were secretly a lesbian couple
19 Sue is a furry
20 Jack was once a military commander
21 King is full of himself
22 The Doctor is a sadist
23 Cave Story will appear in Super Smash Bros. someday
24 Most of the Mimigas are considerably older than they look
25 Mimigas have humanlike sexual organs
26 Slave workers are thrown off the Outer Wall to their deaths as punishment for slacking off
27 Quote and Curly are at least engaged, if not married to each other
28 Balrog is the Kool-Aid Man in disguise
29 Balrog is Ballos' son
30 The complicated procedure for getting the best ending is a deliberate trick on the developer's part to fuck with first-time players
31 Jack is secretly a mushroom smoker
32 Jack secretly has a mushroom fetish
33 Chaco is bisexual
34 Jack got turned into one of the Frenzied Mimigas on the balcony
35 King is basically the game's equivalent to Chuck Norris
36 Chaco is a dedicated whore
37 Mimigas are cuter than Kirby
38 King's spirit leaves the sword and rises into heaven after you finish the game
39 Quote might not really be much of a hero
40 Santa's name is actually a nickname
41 Using the LVL 1 Polar Star makes you a man
42 Using the LVL 3 Nemesis makes you a man
43 Using the LVL 1 Bubbler makes you a man
44 The Hermit Gunsmith is secretly a badass
45 The Spur is the best weapon ever
46 Using the LVL 3 Blade makes you a savior
47 The game will have a full-fledged cel-shaded remake someday
48 The game will have a sequel and/or prequel someday
49 Designating Jack as "Number Two" was clearly a pun on the word "jackshit", whether intentional or not
50 If Jack and King were both named after playing cards, then there should be a Queen and an Ace somewhere in their bloodline as well
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