Top Ten Chinese Jokes

The Top Ten

1 What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese telephone. (Wing-wing, halo?)

Haha these are hilarious! - advancewarfare

2 Why are there no theme parks in China? Nobody's tall enough for the good rides.

No theme parks in China? Why is there a Disneyland in Shanghai, then?

We don't have theme parks we have holiday resorts. Spa resorts, pool resorts, golf resorts, everywhere! - MChkflaguard_Yt

Its also because they've outlawed fun in favor of studying. - keycha1n

I'm so short. :( - SamuiNeko

3 I met a charming Chinese girl, who was with her friend. I asked for her phone number. She smiled and said, "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight." I thought, that escalated quickly. Her friend said, "Dude, she said 666 3629."

My relatives are Chinese and they all speak Engrish as well. They constantly mispronounce English words. We kids speak more fluent English than them. No amount of ESL classes will help them improve.

I imagine it might've been quite a disappointment.

4 How do you know that the Chinese are spying on you? You crouch down and catch them eye-to-eye.
5 The Chinese have the engineering skills to make our cars move at great speeds, but it's easier for them to use gravity.

Cliffs aren't always provided, unfortunately. - PositronWildhawk

6 Chinese pet shops. All our pets come with cooking instructions.

Stereotypes confirmed. I am Chinese and I detest dog meat. - MChkflaguard_Yt

7 The lights were too bright in the Chinese restaurant, so the manager decided to dim sum.
8 Without Chinese food, we Chow Mein hungry.
9 I put up posters after my cat went missing. I got a phone call saying "Cat, eet waws good with noodles."
10 Chinese Apple fakes are such iOpeners.

The Contenders

11 Everything is made in China. Babies, however, are from VaChina.

Haha! I found this one funny actually... - Therandom

So... I was made in a VaChina that was made in China? #vachinaception - keycha1n

12 If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we'd still be in paradise, as they would have eaten the snake and not the apple.

oh yess - Aquastar_of_DewClan

13 So how does Chinese Fast and Furious work? You give them cars.
14 I met a Chinese car salesman lately. I asked him, "cargo space?", to which he replied, "Car no go space! Car no fly!"
15 Confucius say, man who run in front of car get tired, man who run behind car get exhausted
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15 listings
3 years, 330 days old

Top Remixes

1. What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese telephone. (Wing-wing, halo?)
2. The lights were too bright in the Chinese restaurant, so the manager decided to dim sum.
3. Without Chinese food, we Chow Mein hungry.
PositronWildhawk

WRemix

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