Top Ten Cliches In Documentaries

Top Ten? If I could do Top Trillion, I would still go beyond that! There are so many of these dumb things about documentaries.
The Top Ten
1 Acting Like Something Small is Big

They do normal things and act like nobody's done it before. And I'm telling you, saying "I caught APLANE travelling 5000 MILES into THE HEART of the USA! " is as captivating and unique as "I WALKED around THE BLOCK and came through the AUTOMATIC DOORS at the LOCAL MORRISON'S and set foot in the BUSY AND ALIVE VEGETABLE AISLE! "

2 Not Having an Idea What They're Talking About

Some of these people just stare blankly at the camera for hours and they edit it out; I'm sure. And some of them are just studio donut boys, I'm also certain about that.

This is the beautiful red knee tarantula located in err em meh the er desert er did I screw up guys? Please don't cut that out of the er documentary thing here.

3 Thinking We're Stupid

I saw an advert for a documentary on Africa and made me face palm. It went like, "Get ready, because you are about to see Africa in a way you've NEVER seen before! " and of course it was in the wild filming the animals that live there. Never seen that in a documentary or anywhere for that matter before._.

Mercury is closer to the Sun than Earth?!?! Really?!?!
And who watching can find where Venus is? Oh, kid yourselves.
They're like this more often than I think people think.

4 Going Over Themselves

How often must they tell us the GENERAL IDEA over and over again?

5 Dumb Mistakes

Ones that make their own explanations fall to pieces.

6 Explanations that Make No Sense

Not such that you have to be a genius to understand, but those that don't seem to be going anywhere.

7 Travelling All Over the World for Little Reason

It does put something into it, when they talk about an event that happened, actually where it happened; but when they're on the other side of the world, just to talk about something irrelevant to where they are, it's pointless. Save them a lot of cash and time, and frankly, I probably wouldn't do great with all the jet lag.

Oh you should hear my Father effing and blinding about this: "We pay our T.V. licence just so some jumped up little bimbo can have a free holiday to tell us what a marvellous time she's having looking at turtles! " He could spout for England about this. I just close my eyes and ears and think about...something else...

8 Forgetting the Most Important Thing

Yeah. They can really be this stupid.

9 Big Explanation to State the Obvious

"1+1=2 because 1 and 1 are the same number, they've been added together, so it has to be one place UP on the number line. So if we move right a bit on the diagram, by just one place, we get 2! "
It's just like that.

10 The Reader Having a British Accent

Yeah, haven't seen that before

The Contenders
11 Boasting About How What They Talk About is Better Than Other Things

They're like 5-year-old siblings yakking on about how their subject is best and not actually going anywhere.

12 David Attenborough Narrating

Excuse me? David Attenborough made nature documentaries good! Nobody compares when it comes to those.

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