Top Ten Best Crackfic/Trollfic Quotes

xandermartin98

The Top Ten

1 Harry withdrew his guitar, F***slayer, from a dimension where all screamed for naught. Imbued with the silver heart of heaven's false promise, hewn from the horns of Satan's generals, laced with vessels that pulsed with angel's menstrual blood... - 30 H's
2 (How does Ronnie Ron taste, master?) Like some kid with eyes. - 30 H's
3 I told you! There will be no one left to kill everyone in the universe if we get around to bringing everyone back to life after we killed them! - 30 H's
4 I need to kill fast and bullets too slow. - Half-Life: Full Life Consequences
5 It's time to face FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES. - Half-Life: Full Life Consequences
6 Harry summoned a great meteor from space to smash into Hogwarts and kill everyone there, FOR NO REASON AT ALL! - 30 H's
7 He then did fly through space, punching astral vampires in half with his fists encased in f***fire and throwing their ruined heads into the past where they bit cavemen on Mars so that history changed and now there are vampire cavemen on Mars - 30 H's
8 I'm just Toroko but I'm gonna barf too and the MUSTARD, MUSTARD BARF MUSTARD BARF! BEHOLD the GOOEY SLOP of our SORROW! IT IS...SLOBBER...DAMMERUNG! THE TWILIGHT OF THE CONDIMENTS...WEEP FOR THEM! WEEP FOR THEIR SORROW-HO-HOHO-HOHH!!! - Cave Story VS Meen

This scene was priceless.

9 NO! Not Misery! She was like an emo, brooding, alcoholic piece of s*** MOTHER to me! - Cave Story VS Meen
10 Very scary AND CONFUSING! Sexual f***-ery of MY CHOOSING!! Magic fanny-fic of I. M. Meeee-hee-heeheehee-heen!!! - Cave Story VS Meen

The Contenders

11 Snap and Loopin were filming me naked! And Loopin was masticating to it! - My Immortal
12 KING! Become the instrument of my revenge! F***ing ZA WARUDO!!! Toki wa tomare! Soshite ugoki wa, ugoki desu...ROAD ROLLER! WRYYYYYY!!!!!! - Cave Story VS Meen
13 I am the Great Mighty Slime, and you have arrived here just in time! I'll show you all my hair, so you'll nauseously stare! Where's your paper bag, you little fag? - Cave Story VS Meen
14 Demon's souls began to s*** poop into the atmosphere, while angel's souls were busy being...whatever the f*** angels' souls are. - 30 More H's
15 (I am a cyborg now! I am immortal!) Yeah, well I'M STILL HUMAN! - 30 More H's
16 He's completely...NAAAKEEED. WITH NO CLOTHES ON!! - Cave Story VS Meen
17 IGNATIUS MORTIMER MEEN'S BEHAVIORAL CONTROL CENTER!! Quick! My photo album book of you! (You're not gonna get CUSTARD on it again, are you?) - Cave Story VS Meen
18 Balrog.exe has temporarily stopped working due to blunt force. Windows 98, the program which Balrog.exe runs on, has evidently crashed due to being an outdated and obsolete discharge of fecal matter. This is everyone's fault but ours. - Cave Story VS Meen
19 GHOASTS! - Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences
20 Gordon Freeman frontflipped out of the sky! - Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences
21 Harry shredded like the blades of Hell on his guitar, firing a laser beam made out of explosions. - 30 More H's
22 We're simply famished! - Cave Story VS Meen
23 I knew I should have brought my 3D glasses! - Cave Story VS Meen
24 Harry flew through Mercury, killing the f*** out of it. He then sent Mercury's carcass into Venus, killing the f*** out of it and making every v****** in the galaxy EXPLODE...and inside every v**, a b00by sang of mortal life's fleeting precipice. - 30 H's
25 Harry read his book. It wasn't really a book, because the pages were made of lasers, and the words were made of headless women making godless love to dragons made out of motorcycles...but it was still reading. - 30 H's
26 Now I'm really f***ing furious! You're like an itty bitty sh*tty little dog runt! When I've knocked you out with my odor I'm going to take your head and ram it up my c**t! - Cave Story VS Meen
27 He flexed one of his legs, which was made of pistols, and kicked a planet in half. - 30 H's
28 Harry then threw the broken heart into a nearby wood chipper, pouring the bloody remains into a syringe and mercilessly injecting it into the withered folds of his scrotum. - 30 More H's
29 Now that I have shrunken you down to microscopic size with...PROFESSOR CURLY BRACE'S PATENTED REDUCING CREAM, IN LOTION OR OINTMENT FORM...I shall now crush you like, uh...oh, I don't know, a CHIPMUNK! - Cave Story VS Meen
30 My uncanny Windows 98 senses tell me we MAY be in danger! - Cave Story VS Meen
31 You STUPID MOTHERF***ING foot fetishist BASTARD PIECE OF S***! - Cave Story VS Meen
32 You may have outsmarted me this time, JACK...but I'll be BACK! - Cave Story VS Meen
33 They were three barefooted Mimigas, most of which lacked a ballsack; Toroko, Sue, and Jack. - Cave Story VS Meen
34 I'm sorry, what I said was...HOW WOULD YOU LIKE! TO SUCK! My BALLS, Mr. Quote? - Cave Story VS Meen
35 When I grow up, I wanna turn into Godzilla and knock down all the buildings! It's just like those toy blocks I used to play with, only bigger because bigger is better! Oh, I'm so cool and mature now! - Cave Story VS Meen
36 Oh, you found my secret photo album book of you. Touch the book. LICK THE BOOK...Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Book, book, book, book, book...yeah, I haven't read it either. - Cave Story VS Meen
37 The radio said, "No, John, you ARE the demons." And then John was a zombie! - DOOM: Repercussions Of Evil
38 NO! YOU WILL BE KILL BY DEMONS! - DOOM: Repercussions Of Evil
39 John Freeman jumped into sky with kicks and hit dark man and dark man's mask ripped off and John seed ugly Combine face but it looked like human too. - Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences
40 Gordon Freeman teleportaled to John Freeman and hit him with crowbar and John Freeman tried to grabe it but couldn't so he punched Gordon Freeman instead. - Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences
41 The science flew off of Gordon Freeman's face and landed and blowed up in a boom and Gordon Freeman stood up and fall. - Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences
42 A rocket hit John Freeman but he got up and killed more Combines, then another Combine snuck up behind him and stabbed him in back but John pulled knife out and stabbed Combine in brain. - Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences
43 Henry Freeman throwed grenade for John Freeman to shot them in faces. - Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences
44 John Freeman walked like speed of light back to his motorcycle and left the bad place behind him. - Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences
45 You got here slow and now I am zombie ghost. You will pay... - Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences
46 Hi, my name is Ebony Darkā€™ness Dementia Raven Way. - My Immortal
47 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERF***ERS!? - My Immortal
48 Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. - My Immortal
49 You Ludacris fools! - My Immortal
50 Harry was so surprised that his pants flew right off! He was wearing women's underpants! At that moment, they realized that they were all men of the lord. - 30 H's
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Top Remixes

1. Harry withdrew his guitar, F***slayer, from a dimension where all screamed for naught. Imbued with the silver heart of heaven's false promise, hewn from the horns of Satan's generals, laced with vessels that pulsed with angel's menstrual blood... - 30 H's
2. (How does Ronnie Ron taste, master?) Like some kid with eyes. - 30 H's
3. I told you! There will be no one left to kill everyone in the universe if we get around to bringing everyone back to life after we killed them! - 30 H's
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