Top Ten Best Crackfic/Trollfic Quotes

The Top Ten
1 Harry withdrew his guitar, F***slayer, from a dimension where all screamed for naught. Imbued with the silver heart of heaven's false promise, hewn from the horns of Satan's generals, laced with vessels that pulsed with angel's menstrual blood... - 30 H's
2 (How does Ronnie Ron taste, master?) Like some kid with eyes. - 30 H's
3 I told you! There will be no one left to kill everyone in the universe if we get around to bringing everyone back to life after we killed them! - 30 H's
4 I need to kill fast and bullets too slow. - Half-Life: Full Life Consequences
5 It's time to face FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES. - Half-Life: Full Life Consequences
6 Harry summoned a great meteor from space to smash into Hogwarts and kill everyone there, FOR NO REASON AT ALL! - 30 H's
7 He then did fly through space, punching astral vampires in half with his fists encased in f***fire and throwing their ruined heads into the past where they bit cavemen on Mars so that history changed and now there are vampire cavemen on Mars - 30 H's
8 I'm just Toroko but I'm gonna barf too and the MUSTARD, MUSTARD BARF MUSTARD BARF! BEHOLD the GOOEY SLOP of our SORROW! IT IS...SLOBBER...DAMMERUNG! THE TWILIGHT OF THE CONDIMENTS...WEEP FOR THEM! WEEP FOR THEIR SORROW-HO-HOHO-HOHH!!! - Cave Story VS Meen

This scene was priceless.

9 NO! Not Misery! She was like an emo, brooding, alcoholic piece of s*** MOTHER to me! - Cave Story VS Meen
10 Very scary AND CONFUSING! Sexual f***-ery of MY CHOOSING!! Magic fanny-fic of I. M. Meeee-hee-heeheehee-heen!!! - Cave Story VS Meen
The Contenders
11 Snap and Loopin were filming me naked! And Loopin was masticating to it! - My Immortal
12 KING! Become the instrument of my revenge! F***ing ZA WARUDO!!! Toki wa tomare! Soshite ugoki wa, ugoki desu...ROAD ROLLER! WRYYYYYY!!!!!! - Cave Story VS Meen
13 Toroko spread her legs, revealing her virgin treasure to Sue. - Sue and Toroko
14 I am the Great Mighty Slime, and you have arrived here just in time! I'll show you all my hair, so you'll nauseously stare! Where's your paper bag, you little fag? - Cave Story VS Meen
15 Demon's souls began to s*** poop into the atmosphere, while angel's souls were busy being...whatever the f*** angels' souls are. - 30 More H's
16 (I am a cyborg now! I am immortal!) Yeah, well I'M STILL HUMAN! - 30 More H's
17 He's completely...NAAAKEEED. WITH NO CLOTHES ON!! - Cave Story VS Meen
18 IGNATIUS MORTIMER MEEN'S BEHAVIORAL CONTROL CENTER!! Quick! My photo album book of you! (You're not gonna get CUSTARD on it again, are you?) - Cave Story VS Meen
19 Balrog.exe has temporarily stopped working due to blunt force. Windows 98, the program which Balrog.exe runs on, has evidently crashed due to being an outdated and obsolete discharge of fecal matter. This is everyone's fault but ours. - Cave Story VS Meen
20 GHOASTS! - Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences
21 Gordon Freeman frontflipped out of the sky! - Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences
22 Harry shredded like the blades of Hell on his guitar, firing a laser beam made out of explosions. - 30 More H's
23 We're simply famished! - Cave Story VS Meen
24 I knew I should have brought my 3D glasses! - Cave Story VS Meen
25 Harry flew through Mercury, killing the f*** out of it. He then sent Mercury's carcass into Venus, killing the f*** out of it and making every v****** in the galaxy EXPLODE...and inside every v**, a b00by sang of mortal life's fleeting precipice. - 30 H's
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