It's Amazing How Much You Can Learn About People Through Binoculars

CityGuru When I was a child, I shied away from human contact. I spent most of my time holed up in my refrigerator box ripping the stuffing out of teddy bears. I always thought humans were nothing more than specimens to be hung up in a closet, but after studying them through my binoculars, I discovered that they have fascinating quirks about their existence.
A human had never smiled at me, only screamed as I disemboweled them. Who could know that humans could be so interesting? Every human is unique with a beating, proud, loving heart, except for the girls buried in my basement.
For example, who would have know the way Beatrice puts the toilet paper on the roll after she's done without watching her? Most humans are unaware of the fascinating lives they themselves lead. I find it more interesting to watch humans live then watch how they die when covered in meat in a lion enclosure.
I digress, but when I was younger, my mother always told me to go out and find friends, to do something with my life. I was never very good at making friends, but I did get featured in the New York Times front page! However, I could never show my face again. Last time I tried, I had almost broken into a nursing home when I heard the words: Aaaahhhh! It's Stabbin' Sam! Needless to say, I never opened my door again, not even to air out the disgusting smell of dried blood and corpses.
Humans are so unique. From scrutinizing the skeletons in my closet, I had concluded that all humans looked the exact same. I even concluded that all humans acted the same way, as my tests with red hot pokers showed. They certainly all smelled the same, after being in my rancid s*** heap in the basement. (Side note- I should really clear out the excrement in the basement)
Never had I in my wildest dreams that humans could be so cool. I mean, after the seemingly-quintillionth girl pleading for her life, I was kind of bored with humans. However, I decided to start following them with my binoculars, and boy oh boy, did things get juicy.
Eventually, I became depressed. Isn't there more to life than sitting in my house and plotting my next kidnapping? I soon found it-following unsuspecting people.
The point is, all humans have unique, marvelous souls. It would be a shame to steal that from anybody. So from now on, I pledge to lock up their soul in a canister whenever I have a blood sacrifice.
Enjoy life, cause it won't last long. (Especially in the case of the inhabitants of 12th Street, Peoria, Illinois. Make sure you give your children a good, long kiss tonight.)


#serialkillerproblems - PositronWildhawk

Wow...that was incredible to read: Atmospheric and so creepy! I really enjoyed reading that. - Britgirl

Love this post, good job. - Martinglez

Good job, creepy and strange. - Skullkid755

Ikr - Thecyanryan