Top 10 Disturbing Things for a Mall Santa to Do In Front of Kids

You know those mall Santa's? They could be pedophiles or murderers,
anyway but it wouldn't involve you right?

The Top Ten

1 Beat up security guards with hammer and sickle

No wonder Santa is a communist oh wait-

2 Rant on why his life sucks and his sexual lust on kids

3 Tell the kids that the "real" Santa is dead due to tripping over his beard and how he is a crooked criminal chased by the CIA

Hey did you see this man wearing a Santa suit? He is a murderer and a pedo y'know

4 Sacrifice kids by hanging them in his "Secret Funplace"

The right place for children to go!

5 Flirt with kids in an Arabic accent

6 Enslaving the kids parents by forcing them to work on making mind-controlling toys

7 Rip an antler off a Rudolf the Deer mannequin

8 Read out verses from the Old Testament with excessive profanity and attempts of persuasion on recruiting kids as child soldiers

9 Tell them to sit on his lap and perform sex moves

10 Tell them if he/she feels happy that the present was produced by enslaved kids from Africa

The Contenders

11 Take off his clothes and sing The Real Slim Shady in a Swedish death metal style

12 Beat Up Bugs Bunny

13 Launch a TOW missile

14 Pull out a knife

15 Twerk

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