Top 10 Disturbing Things for a Mall Santa to Do In Front of Kids

You know those mall Santa's? They could be pedophiles or murderers,
anyway but it wouldn't involve you right?

The Top Ten Disturbing Things for a Mall Santa to Do In Front of Kids

1 Beat up security guards with hammer and sickle

No wonder Santa is a communist oh wait- - FladevousEniker

2 Rant on why his life sucks and his sexual lust on kids
3 Tell the kids that the "real" Santa is dead due to tripping over his beard and how he is a crooked criminal chased by the CIA

Hey did you see this man wearing a Santa suit? He is a murderer and a pedo y'know - FladevousEniker

4 Sacrifice kids by hanging them in his "Secret Funplace"

The right place for children to go! - FladevousEniker

5 Flirt with kids in an Arabic accent
6 Enslaving the kids parents by forcing them to work on making mind-controlling toys
7 Rip an antler off a Rudolf the Deer mannequin
8 Read out verses from the Old Testament with excessive profanity and attempts of persuasion on recruiting kids as child soldiers
9 Tell them to sit on his lap and perform sex moves
10 Tell them if he/she feels happy that the present was produced by enslaved kids from Africa

The Contenders

11 Take off his clothes and sing The Real Slim Shady in a Swedish death metal style
12 Beat Up Bugs Bunny
13 Launch a TOW missile
14 Pull out a knife
15 Twerk
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