Top Ten Dumbest Things to Do If You Ever Get to Play In a Soccer Match

The Top Ten

1 When you get the ball, pull out a needle from a your pocket and deflate it

Good thing I'm terrible at soccer so I won't have to deal with any of these problems. - RockFashionista

New England Patriots anyone? - Turkeyasylum

I'm going to do this the next time I play a soccer match. - Songsta41

You'd be suspended for at least 4 games, then. - EpicJake

2 Take off your outfit and run around the field in front of the crowd in an underwear

Football. Not soccer. Thanks. - keyson

Why not swallow some pride think about logic and convenience here. You do realize what will happen when I use football instead of soccer at the title. Too much confusion because there is another sport with the same name as football and. I think you perfectly know that. Right keyson? And I don't want the list to look complicated with the word with word Soccer (Football) or Football (Soccer). - Kiteretsunu

You'd either get made fun of, or everyone would be grossed out. - EpicJake

She's the man, anyone seen it? - Songsta41

That would be dumb.

3 Bring your golf equipment and start playing golf there all the time

Where I live, there is a soccer field RIGHT by a golf course, and I can't tell you how many balls have landed on the field. - Minecraftcrazy530

And the hole is the hole you digged in the field - Nateawesomeness

4 Beat up the opponent's goalkeeper

You'd be suspended from the game, in fact more than FOUR games. - EpicJake

I don't say about this. - 05yusuf09

It'll be much dumber if the opponents goalkeeper was chuck Norris - Nateawesomeness

5 Bring three tanks of concrete and start applying it on the field despite protests from match officials

When the match officials protest, just put some of the concrete on them. Cruel, but affective. - Turkeyasylum

Not a legit way as goalkeeper:/ - Nateawesomeness

Hey! why can't stone try to play too,give them a chance - Nateawesomeness

6 Start digging a hole in the field

Maybe the Chinese team can give me some help once I get through the earth - peppypeter

If dogs were ever to play soccer, I'm sure they'd do that. - Songsta41

Let us see how far down we can go down.

What? I was just barying my lost treasure so nobody will find it,wait,you guys keep secrets,right? - Nateawesomeness

7 Just stand on the field eating fries all the time

If this was soccer, I'd join the team Ina heartbeat. - keycha1n

This is something that I would do if I was playing football - JaysTop10List

The frys are good at soccer - Nateawesomeness

Even better,bacon - Nateawesomeness

8 Take off your shoes and start beating up your manager with it

Don't do it! your manager is chuck Norris! - Nateawesomeness

With studs? That'd hurt. - Puga

9 Lie on the field for indefinite period when the play commences

That's funny.
That's the pace soccer ALWAYS seems to set.
The #1 dumbest thing to do would be to PLAY in a soccer match, at all.

#LAZY - Nateawesomeness

10 Start making as many own goals as possible

Fun fact: a team in Madagascar lost 149-0. They kept scoring own goals in protest of a refereeing decision. - Puga

What? I was playing one on one with myself - Nateawesomeness

The Contenders

11 Catch the ball in your shirt and throw it into the net

Catching a ball in your shirt is really hard when it's coming straight at you! - Songsta41

This isn't handball jimmy! GET IT RIGHT - Nateawesomeness

Ummm... I can't do that.

12 Drive a bulldozer onto the pitch and terrorize everyone

I written this with an 'S', who changed it?!

13 Make a human rights protest

My own small questioning of the game's purposes was enough. - PositronWildhawk

14 Get a red card
15 Kick the ball into the other team's face

KABOOM! RED CARD! I loved adding this to the list.

This happens a lot in soccer.

16 Disco dance

MIKE: *dancing*
JAMES: *kicks the ball* OH YEAH! Oh, no...
MIKE: *gets hit by the ball* OWWW! *gets REVENGE*

17 Be a referee
18 Say Game Over
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