Top Ten Dumbest Things to Do If You Ever Get to Play In a Soccer Match

The Top Ten
1 When you get the ball, pull out a needle from a your pocket and deflate it

Good thing I'm terrible at soccer so I won't have to deal with any of these problems.

I'm going to do this the next time I play a soccer match.

You'd be suspended for at least 4 games, then.

Maybe he'd event get a dark red card

2 Take off your outfit and run around the field in front of the crowd in an underwear

You'd either get made fun of, or everyone would be grossed out.

Football. Not soccer. Thanks.

She's the man, anyone seen it?

That would be dumb.

3 Beat up the opponent's goalkeeper

You'd be suspended from the game, in fact more than FOUR games.

It'll be much dumber if the opponents goalkeeper was chuck Norris

I don't say about this.

4 Bring your golf equipment and start playing golf there all the time

Where I live, there is a soccer field RIGHT by a golf course, and I can't tell you how many balls have landed on the field.

And the hole is the hole you digged in the field

5 Take off your shoes and start beating up your manager with it
6 Bring three tanks of concrete and start applying it on the field despite protests from match officials

When the match officials protest, just put some of the concrete on them. Cruel, but affective.

Not a legit way as goalkeeper:/

7 Just stand on the field eating fries all the time

This is something that I would do if I was playing football

If this was soccer, I'd join the team Ina heartbeat.

8 Lie on the field for indefinite period when the play commences

That's funny.
That's the pace soccer ALWAYS seems to set.
The #1 dumbest thing to do would be to PLAY in a soccer match, at all.

9 Start digging a hole in the field

Maybe the Chinese team can give me some help once I get through the earth

If dogs were ever to play soccer, I'm sure they'd do that.

Let us see how far down we can go down.

10 Catch the ball in your shirt and throw it into the net

Catching a ball in your shirt is really hard when it's coming straight at you!

This isn't handball jimmy! GET IT RIGHT

Straight up auto goal

The Contenders
11 Start making as many own goals as possible

Fun fact: a team in Madagascar lost 149-0. They kept scoring own goals in protest of a refereeing decision.

What? I was playing one on one with myself

12 Drive a bulldozer onto the pitch and terrorize everyone
13 Play basketball and throw the ball into the goal saying "two points!"

This will so get you off the soccer field and go onto the basketball court

14 Make a human rights protest

My own small questioning of the game's purposes was enough.

15 Get a red card
16 Kick the ball into the other team's face

KABOOM! RED CARD! I loved adding this to the list.

This happens a lot in soccer.

17 Disco dance

MIKE: *dancing*
JAMES: *kicks the ball* OH YEAH! Oh, no...
MIKE: *gets hit by the ball* OWWW! *gets REVENGE*

18 Be a referee
19 Say game over
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