Top Ten Dumbest Things That Have Genuinely Been Said In Court

PositronWildhawk

The Top Ten

1 Lawyer: "How Long Have You Been Pregnant?" Witness: "3 months as of November the 8th." Lawyer: "What were you doing at the time on August the 8th?"

WITNESS: Well, I cleaned the house, made food, had gym exercises and then he came and THEN... - Kiteretsunu

Does the oath go so far to ensure awkwardness? - PositronWildhawk

2 Lawyer: "How Many Times Have You Comitted Suicide?" Witness: "Four Times".
3 Lawyer: "All of your responses must be oral. What school do you go to?" Witness: "Oral."

Haha! I'm sure this response is just due to nerves. No one's that daft... - Britgirl

4 Accused: "Did you get a good look at your face when I took your purse?"

Any conclusions that the jury can come to from this? - PositronWildhawk

Witness: No, I didn't have a mirror at that time. - Kiteretsunu

5 Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of impact?" Witness: "Adidas."
6 Lawyer: "How far apart were the two cars upon collision?"

WITNESS: A few micrometres, maybe. - Kiteretsunu

7 Lawyer: "Can you describe the attacker?" Witness: "He had a mask." Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?" Witness: "His face."
8 Lawyer: "What is your IQ?" Witness: "I can see well."
9 Lawyer: "Do you check your radar unit frequently?" Officer: "Yes." Lawyer: "Was it functioning as expected?" Officer: "Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly."
10 Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement." Witness: "Yes." Lawyer: "Yes, and did they go up also?"

The Contenders

11 Accused: "How could you tell it was me? I was wearing a balaclava."
BAdd New Item

Related Lists

Top Ten Amusing Things Genuinely Seen In School Textbooks Top 10 Things that Were Genuinely Lame and Disappointing About Fallout 4 Top 10 Fictional Characters Who Would Be Genuinely Shocked to See the Sheer Amount of Rule 34 Porn About Them Sports that I Genuinely Don't Care About Things People Have Said They Can't Live Without

List Stats

11 listings
4 years, 256 days old

Top Remixes

1. Lawyer: "How Long Have You Been Pregnant?" Witness: "3 months as of November the 8th." Lawyer: "What were you doing at the time on August the 8th?"
2. Lawyer: "How Many Times Have You Comitted Suicide?" Witness: "Four Times".
3. Lawyer: "All of your responses must be oral. What school do you go to?" Witness: "Oral."
PositronWildhawk

WRemix

Error Reporting

See a factual error in these listings? Report it here.
P