Dumbest Things Said On the Internet


The Top Ten

1 I was trapped on an escalator for hours. The power went out.

Use your dam legs. There's a show and this was the plot for one of the episodes. This one girl knew he should've used his legs though.

You what kids when I was your age we used our legs to get sound maybe should you yours on this escalator - GentlemanJonathan

That person was obviously trolling - Kiteretsunu

Maybe he was paraplegic!

2 Somebody tried to tell me that there were 50 states in America. The scientists found out Pluto didn't exist, so there is only 49.

Guys add another star we have our 51st state - GentlemanJonathan

Pluto is a American state? Amazing! :-D - HowToTrainYourDragonFan1001

So, doesn’t that make all the other planets states? ADD MORE STARS TO THE FLAG - KingSlayer93316

Wait, Pluto was a state? No way! We all know otherwise! - allamassal

3 Where's the 2014 Brazil World Cup going to be held?

Dude its going to obvs be held on krypton - MrGuyDudeMan

Antarctica. Duh - KingSlayer93316

In space in 2040. Isn't that obvious? - HowToTrainYourDragonFan1001

Pluto. It's being held on Pluto. - AnonymousChick

4 I just found out that my birthday is the same day as when I was born.


Duh. The top 3 quotes right now ARE stupid, but this.. this is perfect!


How's THAT for a coincidence? Haha! - Britgirl

5 I don't like dolphins anymore. Squirrels are my new favorite reptile.

My favorite reptile is a dog (sarcasm) - KingSlayer93316

Haha! My favourite reptile is the bird! - HowToTrainYourDragonFan1001

Shark is my favorite bird. - MrCoolC

Both of them are mammals. Geez. - Gabo147

6 Ebola is in Dallas, so I'm moving to Texas. I can't stay in a diseased country.

Be sure to say hi to sandy the squirrel for me - GentlemanJonathan

Yeah, Dallas is my least favorite country too! Now, I live in a country called North America!

Dammit! Dallas is in Texas! - Gabo147

Sounds good. Earth fell into the hands of stupid people so I left earth completely and went to Japan.

7 Blue whales are mammals not animals.

No wonder I failed my science test I said that whales are animals and got an f - Jonathan4Life

So that means bats, cats, and dogs are not animals?

Spiders are arachnids not living creatures - XxDarkStorm_PhoenixMothxX

Humans are primates not creatures. - Powerfulgirl10

8 I want my first daughter to be a girl.

And I want my first son to be a boy! LOL! - HowToTrainYourDragonFan1001

This is on one of SSSniperWolf's "Dumbest Tweets" videos. - CartoonCriticizer

I want mine to be a boy.

You do you, I just want my first son to be a boy

9 Most Trees Are Blue

They could be colorblind, the person who said this.

If you were on drugs or something, then yes they would be blue. - NuMetalManiak

I drew lots of pictures of trees that I colored blue, so does that count? - BlueTopazIceVanilla

Wasn't that Jaden Smith that said that? - kaisietoo

10 Goodbye America, I'm going to New York.

New York City is a strange place. Lawfully, it is a part of America. In terms of people and what happens, it is a completely different world.

But that's still in America. - allamassal

Yeah, there's one problem: New York is INSIDE America! - Turkeyasylum

If you go to New York, you'd be an Englishman. So at least you'd leave your American nationality behind.

Goodbye Philippines, I'm going to Bohol! - Neonco31

The Newcomers

? I'd let Chris Brown beat me up any time

The Contenders

11 The Olympics have been going on for 3000 years? There were only 2012 years.

Seriously? There have only been 2018 years? Don't forget about the billions of years before 1 AD. - allamassal

Seriously! People who think the earth is 2012 years old are dumb! That is one reason why school is important!

No wonder jesus christ inst in the list - Jonathan4Life

Have you ever heard of B.C. ? - TheLister

12 What is Obama's last name?

Duh, Obama is His Last Name and his First Name is Barack.

I hope Barack likes jelly filled donuts. Nothing beats like a jelly filled donut - YoshiApple

Last name Is barack and first name is obama. (Sarcastic) - AnonymousChick

Barack. Yes, his name is Obama Barack - XxDarkStorm_PhoenixMothxX

13 How Can I Undo My Abortion?

First dance in your underwear on the roof, then join in a police chase, then finally become a CEREAL killer. It sounds up your alley.

It's simple, grab your mouse, right click then click undo. See! Easy isn't it? - StephanTheIdiot

Well first you change your name to Coreless, then you drink a little vodka (a few bottles should do the trick), and tell a perv your phone number and address.

I know tell your husband to have sex with you and try the same exact positions and hen you will get pregnant with the same babay again - Jonathan4Life

14 How are mirrors real if our eyes aren't real?

No matter how long I look at this quote, it never makes any more sense.

Oh, at first I thought this said "how are we minors if are eyes aren't real" - EliHbk

If our eyes aren't real, then how can we see? Exactly, our eyes are 100% real

Cause eyes and mirrors should switch places for names - Skullkid755

15 I wish I was warm-blooded, then I would be warm all the time.

That person might have taken the word "warm-blooded" too literally. - Kiteretsunu

First, you ARE warm-blooded. Second, that's not the meaning of warm-blooded - XxDarkStorm_PhoenixMothxX

Then why do I feel warm then? And the same applies to other humans.

16 Someone tried to convince me that the Sun is a star. The Sun is a sun.

Earth is a Earth, not a planet. - MrCoolC

You, child, are an astonishing example of how far mankind can go! How stupid they can become! Bless you, and I hope you die in peace

The Sun is a sun is a star. - TheLister

This guy also went to say that a tomato is not a fruit. Does this guy have a brain or not?

17 I've heard that guns don't kill people, people kill people, so does that mean that toasters don't toast toast, toast toasts toast?

I feel a strong urge to have some toast now.

You know what they say! Toasters toast toast!

Toasters toast BREAD. Get your facts straight first.

I say this all the time. It's a favourite quote of mine. - Wolftail

18 Do dogs have brains?

Yeah, they do, but the problem is, do you? - XxDarkStorm_PhoenixMothxX

Umm, I am not sure about that. But they do know what they are doing.

No they have bowls - SirSkeletorThe3rd

Yes, but you don't... - Ananya

19 Is it OK to have sex with an Asian woman because they can't get pregnant?

This is both gross and racist. I feel so embarrassed as an Asian reading this. - MChkflaguard_Yt

*cough* Happy Ending *cough*
Without the last part of the sentence - StarlightSpanks

Yes! And if anything you can always eat a magic potato and cross your fingers and everything will be just fine. I mean if course Asian people fall from the sky, dropped by cloud mermaids. Common knowledge.

Well, apparently, Asia is the continent which has the biggest population in the world, so where do you think they come from? Chinese Laboratories? Factories? You decide!

20 Stop Being Mean To Me I Will Call 999

I saw someone say this because they thought people were being mean to him but he was the real jerk and then thought they should get arrested and said 999 instead of 911 - simpsondude

I need gods help so I'm going to dial 666 - Jonathan4Life

This is how to do it in London

I was attempted with this in an online argument!

21 My HIV tests came back positive. I'M CLEAN! Thank God for good health!

It's The Opposite, Unfortunately

Just, don't tell her the bad news... - Turkeyasylum

Don't tell her anything 0_0 - SamuiNeko

He my hiv test also came positive lets have sex - Jonathan4Life

22 I want to have sex on top of the I fold tower.

Have fun getting impaled by the point of the I FOLD TOWER - KingSlayer93316

Oh, a tower you can just fold? Lol.

"I fold" tower? Is that a tower that can fold itself on a certain time? Don't you think it's a dangerous place to have sex? - XxDarkStorm_PhoenixMothxX

I think someone tried that. It was very hard due to the flimsy folded towel structure. I think the Eiffel Tower is WAAAY more romantic and structurally sound

23 Does Paris Hilton Live in Paris?

No, she lives on Pluto - KingSlayer93316

No, she lives in Hilton.

I think she does, and she probably even owns the city.(not meant to be taken seriously)

Did isacc newton invent the newton? - Jonathan4Life

24 I'm sick of the US government, so I'm moving to California.


California IS in America! - SamuiNeko

Yeah, US government sucks, California YEAH! - 05yusuf09

I'm sick of the universe so I'm moving to the milky way galaxy - Jonathan4Life

25 Is it OK to touch myself when my parents have sex?

It depends on if you want a social life or not - SpectralOwl

Yeah, but you have to realize that you will be forever alone if you do so.

Sure, and try it with a bagel in your hat! It adds some spice to it, especially when you are dancing to the abc song

Only if I was there - Jonathan4Life

26 Will getting an abortion make me back into a virgin?

No, but pressing the unwind button can. - MrCoolC

Not unless you eat a magic mailbox

27 My sweater smells like my boyfriend's colon!

Have you been rolling in his clothes again? Bad moron! I'll get the spray bottle

Your boyfriend has a colon AND it smells?

You guys are getting a little too comfy - Jonathan4Life

28 Justin Bieber has more swag than Jesus Christ

Well, I'm not religious but, Christ has more swag

Whoever said this please leave this planet before you are murdered

Yeah, as if you need swag to get into the Kingdom of God.

Well technically swag means secretly we are gay and if I remember correctly God warned against that so that sounds about right. Justin Bieber sounds gay to me.

29 I think the Titanic is fake, because how do they record it when everyone on the ship is dying!

It's just a movie! - Neonco31

Hmm... You don't suppose someone survived and that maybe you ever read your history do you? Nah!

So rose is fake? - Jonathan4Life

That's right, if you don't have photographic evidence it never happened(sarcastic)

30 On Yahoo Answers: Can you help me make a Yahoo Acoount? Mind went down...

Just look at it carefully...

No, you will have to log in without an account. - Skullkid755

Mind went down...indeed. - NuMetalManiak

Can you help me reaad I want to read about the dumbestquestions I found on the internet - Jonathan4Life

31 Nicki Minaj is a good rapper

This is an opinion, not a fact - KingSlayer93316

Whoever Said this is really high.

A potato could rap better than she ever could.

This is an opinion, and I respect it. It should not be called dumb.

32 Do You Think Humans Will Ever Walk On the Sun?

Maybe at night. - MrCoolC

Probably not, he moved away but his cousin doesn't mind being stepped on

Dude, You can't walk on the sun. You would walk THROUGH the sun

No, but they will walk on the Parent. - Skullkid755

33 9/11 Was an Inside Job.

Seriously, 9/11 isn't something to joke about. A lot of people lost their lives that day. You must not know the nightmare those people went through.

This Item Is Very Offensive! Take This Off The List Now!

9/11 wasnt joke! It is rude and offensive to most people to post things like this! Shame on you!

34 Why girls love going to yogart class stretin and s***. And don't be eatin no yogart

I give this my award for most grammatical errors in a single sentence.

Most likely said by a gangster wannabe from a high school.

Dear student,
Your stupidity glows brighter then even your grammar errors. Life wouldn't be as meaningless without you. No thank you.

No love,
This person who gave up on you forevee

35 When he's left and you can still smell his colon on his pillow...

Is it still on your sweater as well? - KingSlayer93316

Wow, he must of been using it wrong

36 I got a new colon today!

How was the surgery?

Spell your words right, geez! - TheMeaningOfLifeIs42

37 My sister is pregnant! I can't wait to see if I'm an aunt or an uncle!

Unless you are a very sad person who is desperate, then you aren't a mom or a dad. - Skullkid755

If It's Your Sister That's Pregnant, Then Yes, You Are an Aunt or an Uncle.

If your sister is pregnant, then you will be both uncle and aunt.

I don't think this is dumb because maybe his gender was "Other" - TheMinecraftGamer

38 It's sucks monkey butts and this is madness.
39 How do I use Google?

Type in “Google.com” into the search engine. Duh - KingSlayer93316

40 Oh My God, The Annoying Orange is so Annoying

Thanks for telling me I didn't know that - Jonathan4Life

So do you! - Neonco31

You don't say? I would have never ever guessedn :D where is my knife? I need to stab someone who's life is already worthless

41 Adventure Time Sucks

To me the intro song sucks, but I'm not really interested in the show - WWEWBMortalKombatFan

Once again, this is an opinion - KingSlayer93316

How can it suck if my marceline is one of the characters? She's my little love, my cheeky cub, my baby...

I love Adventure Time - Neonco31

42 Going to Africa. Hope I don't get AIDS. Just kidding, I'm white!

Don't worry, the amount of stupid in this quote gave me cancer.

That is so racist! - 05yusuf09

This is just so offensive.

Going to read your slightly offensive and very stupid comment now, hope I don't catch the moron disease. Just kidding, I'm Hispanic.

43 The Legend of Zelda is a Ripoff of Minecraft

1. Zelda came out first

2. I don't see no Similarities - WWEWBMortalKombatFan

Some kid legit said this once.

But Zelda is good and is fun after a week.. - Skullkid755

44 I'm having an argument with my friend if it rains in Australia or not. My friend thinks it does, but I think it doesn't because rain lands on the ground at the top of the earth,so wouldn't the rain go to space at the bottom of the earth when it falls down

Has the person who said this heard of gravity? - allamassal

Really? Were you paying attention in school?

What about clouds then? What do clouds exist for. I think a cloud needs to come here to shower anyone who thinks it does not rain in Australia.

I pity your friend... Having to deal with you is probably the hardest thing one could do.

45 Arthur is the best show ever

Once again, this is an opinion, not a fact. Respect other people’s opinions - KingSlayer93316

This isn't dumb, it's an opinion.
Plus, the five episodes of this show that I caught and watched were good, but I haven't watched it in years, so Arthur is a pretty good show, in my opinion. - TheLister

It is your haters - Jonathan4Life

Saying Arthur is the best show ever is REALLY EXTREMELY DUMB! This belongs in first place!

I wouldn't say they need to be banned. They are still cool, even if they hate Arthur. - TheLister

46 No, the Hunger Games is not based on WWII, but it is based on a true story. When America was being settled, they forced the Native Americans to do the Hunger Games. The reason Pocahontas is so famous is because she was the first winner of the Hunger Game

You need a history lesson. - MrCoolC

So she won by being the last person to die from starvation and disease? Wow - SirSkeletorThe3rd

It's so wrong, but so funny... - Turkeyasylum

Say that in English.

47 (On a picture of the Great Wall of China) Is that Michigan?

No, that’s Jupiter. Where do you think that is? - KingSlayer93316

No it’s the Berlin Wall. - MrCoolC

Actually, believe it or not that's Pluto. It's very nice up there- I even have a summer home up there with Optimus prime.

No it's the wall on the souther border that donald trump built - Jonathan4Life

48 When are The 2020 Olympics?

They took place in 1794 - KingSlayer93316

This one is dumb if they were asking what year it is, but not what month in the year it will be. - allamassal

Last year - MrCoolC

It depends if they're asking the year or the month. - SamuiNeko

49 Is Santa Claus Real?

Yes, and so it the stork. What happened was they hired a new guy and he had to make a few deliveries. He dropped one. I'm so sorry.

No, but unfortunately Hitler once did.

No, but you are to young to be on the internet. - Skullkid755

How Old Are You, 3?

50 Does Napoleon Dynamite Sell Dynamite?

Someone keeps posting these idiotic statements.

No, he sells napoleons

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