Dumbest Things Said On the Internet

The Top Ten

1 I was trapped on an escalator for hours. The power went out.

That person was obviously trolling

Use your dam legs. There's a show and this was the plot for one of the episodes. This one girl knew he should've used his legs though.

Oh no! I feel so bad for that escalator! It had to deal with your stupid FOR HOURS!

Do you need power to walk? If not, then just walk up/down the escalator.

2 Somebody tried to tell me that there were 50 states in America. The scientists found out Pluto didn't exist, so there is only 49.

I certainly recall something in the history books of America conquering Pluto. Then again, they'll conquer anything, hell yaw!

Really? And here I was thinking Pluto was a dwarf planet all this time! Silly me! *SLAP*

In case you are wondering, I conquered Pluto when we thought it existed.

How can someone write so many wrong things. Pluto actually does exist and it was never considered a state in America.

3 Where's the 2014 Brazil World Cup going to be held?

Pluto. It's being held on Pluto.

Now, this might be a bit shocking to you but...

In space in 2040. Isn't that obvious?

That's a hard one... It wouldn't be in... I don't know Brazil... That's way to obvious maybe it's a trick question.

To be fair, cups will sometimes have brand names or place names which aren't proper to the location they are supposed to be held in. It could be overlooked.

4 I just found out that my birthday is the same day as when I was born.

How's THAT for a coincidence? Haha!

Duh. The top 3 quotes right now ARE stupid, but this.. this is perfect!

That's why it's called a birthday.

Oh my gosh really?! Is it magic?! I know! You were destined to be born! Unfortunately you wasted your life so...

5 Ebola is in Dallas, so I'm moving to Texas. I can't stay in a diseased country.

Sounds good. Earth fell into the hands of stupid people so I left earth completely and went to Japan.

First of all, Dallas is IN Texas. Second, Dallas isn't a country!

Dude, Dallas IS in Texas and Ebola is in Texas too, so move to London.

Wait, Dallas is a country? You mean the countryside? I thought that was an urban city for a second.

6 I don't like dolphins anymore. Squirrels are my new favorite reptile.

Neither of them are reptiles.

Haha! My favourite reptile is the bird!

Do you like wasps? They're one of my favorite kind of fish. Also, stingrays are amazing insects

So squirrels nowadays are considered reptiles? But wait, they have fur, not scales.

7 Blue whales are mammals not animals.

"Just when I thought they couldn't get any stupider."
-Squidward

So that means bats, cats, and dogs are not animals?

No wonder I failed my science test I said that whales are animals and got an f

Spiders are arachnids not living creatures

8 Goodbye America, I'm going to New York.

New York City is a strange place. Lawfully, it is a part of America. In terms of people and what happens, it is a completely different world.

Yeah, there's one problem: New York is INSIDE America!

If you go to New York, you'd be an Englishman. So at least you'd leave your American nationality behind.

Goodbye Philippines, I'm going to Bohol!

Goodbye America, but not completely, because WE ARE IN NEW YORK!

9 I want my first daughter to be a girl.

Laugh out loud! This is nice. It reminds me of another joke - "I have two daughters and both are girls". I remember hearing this joke back when I was in high school.

This person is in luck then.

It's really a chance thing, but I hope your first daughter is a girl for her sake. And also that she grows up in another family.

This person was very close just change daughter with Child. This person deserves claps he did his/her best

10 Most Trees Are Blue

If you were on drugs or something, then yes they would be blue.

I drew lots of pictures of trees that I colored blue, so does that count?

They could be colorblind, the person who said this.

Wasn't that Jaden Smith that said that?

The Contenders

11 The Olympics have been going on for 3000 years? There were only 2012 years.

Seriously! People who think the earth is 2012 years old are dumb! That is one reason why school is important!

Seriously? There have only been 2018 years? Don't forget about the billions of years before 1 AD.

No wonder jesus christ inst in the list

Have you ever heard of B.C. ?

12 How Can I Undo My Abortion?

First dance in your underwear on the roof, then join in a police chase, then finally become a CEREAL killer. It sounds up your alley.

It's simple, grab your mouse, right click then click undo. See! Easy isn't it?

Well first you change your name to Coreless, then you drink a little vodka (a few bottles should do the trick), and tell a perv your phone number and address.

I know tell your husband to have sex with you and try the same exact positions and hen you will get pregnant with the same babay again

13 I wish I was warm-blooded, then I would be warm all the time.

That person might have taken the word "warm-blooded" too literally.

First, you ARE warm-blooded. Second, that's not the meaning of warm-blooded

Then why do I feel warm then? And the same applies to other humans.

14 What is Obama's last name?

Duh, Obama is His Last Name and his First Name is Barack.

I hope Barack likes jelly filled donuts. Nothing beats like a jelly filled donut

Last name Is barack and first name is obama. (Sarcastic)

Barack. Yes, his name is Obama Barack

15 How are mirrors real if our eyes aren't real?

No matter how long I look at this quote, it never makes any more sense.

Oh, at first I thought this said "how are we minors if are eyes aren't real"

If our eyes aren't real, then how can we see? Exactly, our eyes are 100% real

Cause eyes and mirrors should switch places for names

16 Someone tried to convince me that the Sun is a star. The Sun is a sun.

You, child, are an astonishing example of how far mankind can go! How stupid they can become! Bless you, and I hope you die in peace

The Sun is a sun is a star.

This guy also went to say that a tomato is not a fruit. Does this guy have a brain or not?

Earth is a Earth, not a planet.

17 Do dogs have brains?

Yeah, they do, but the problem is, do you?

Umm, I am not sure about that. But they do know what they are doing.

No they have bowls

Yes, but you don't...

18 Stop Being Mean To Me I Will Call 999

I saw someone say this because they thought people were being mean to him but he was the real jerk and then thought they should get arrested and said 999 instead of 911

This is how to do it in London

I need gods help so I'm going to dial 666

I was attempted with this in an online argument!

19 I'm sick of the US government, so I'm moving to California.

California IS in America!

Yeah, US government sucks, California YEAH!

I'm sick of the universe so I'm moving to the milky way galaxy

California isn't America anymore. It's a Hispanic Communist country that runs on Welfare

20 I want to have sex on top of the I fold tower.

"I fold" tower? Is that a tower that can fold itself on a certain time? Don't you think it's a dangerous place to have sex?

Have fun getting impaled by the point of the I FOLD TOWER

I think someone tried that. It was very hard due to the flimsy folded towel structure. I think the Eiffel Tower is WAAAY more romantic and structurally sound

Oh, a tower you can just fold? Lol.

21 I've heard that guns don't kill people, people kill people, so does that mean that toasters don't toast toast, toast toasts toast?

You know what they say! Toasters toast toast!

Toasters toast BREAD. Get your facts straight first.

I say this all the time. It's a favourite quote of mine.

-ERROR- -ERROR- intelligence not found! Please be less stupid and come back later

22 Does Paris Hilton Live in Paris?

I think she does, and she probably even owns the city.(not meant to be taken seriously)

No, she lives in Hilton.

No, she lives on Pluto

Did isacc newton invent the newton?

23 Is it OK to have sex with an Asian woman because they can't get pregnant?

Yes! And if anything you can always eat a magic potato and cross your fingers and everything will be just fine. I mean if course Asian people fall from the sky, dropped by cloud mermaids. Common knowledge.

Well, apparently, Asia is the continent which has the biggest population in the world, so where do you think they come from? Chinese Laboratories? Factories? You decide!

This is both gross and racist. I feel so embarrassed as an Asian reading this.

*cough* Happy Ending *cough*
Without the last part of the sentence

24 I think the Titanic is fake, because how do they record it when everyone on the ship is dying!

It's just a movie!

Hmm... You don't suppose someone survived and that maybe you ever read your history do you? Nah!

So rose is fake?

That's right, if you don't have photographic evidence it never happened(sarcastic)

25 Is it OK to touch myself when my parents have sex?

Depends on what you want your parents to view you like. Play it safe or be stupid.

Yeah, but you have to realize that you will be forever alone if you do so.

Sure, and try it with a bagel in your hat! It adds some spice to it, especially when you are dancing to the abc song

It depends on if you want a social life or not

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