Dumbest Things Said On the Internet

The Top Ten

1 I was trapped on an escalator for hours. The power went out.

Use your dam legs. There's a show and this was the plot for one of the episodes. This one girl knew he should've used his legs though.

If you were stuck cause they power went out, does that mean you're a robot. If you are a robot, then that means those verification things for accounts aren't good.

Oh no, there is nothing you can do to get out of there! But wait a second, there is. And it is called moving your feet, or known as walking.

Why don't you walk up the escalators if the power went out? There! Problem solved!

2 Somebody tried to tell me that there were 50 states in America. The scientists found out Pluto didn't exist, so there is only 49.

I certainly recall something in the history books of America conquering Pluto. Then again, they'll conquer anything, hell yaw!

How can someone write so many wrong things. Pluto actually does exist and it was never considered a state in America.

This person was obviously trying to be funny. Someone with such stupidness wouldn't even know what the Internet is.

Really? And here I was thinking Pluto was a dwarf planet all this time! Silly me! *SLAP*

3 Where's the 2014 Brazil World Cup going to be held?

That's a hard one... It wouldn't be in... I don't know Brazil... That's way to obvious maybe it's a trick question.

To be fair, cups will sometimes have brand names or place names which aren't proper to the location they are supposed to be held in. It could be overlooked.

It says it right in front of you. The dude needs to go to a hospital ASAP

It might be held in Iran, North Korea, Hell, the Death Star, or Bikini Bottom. - SoongeBill

I have an idea lets hold the 2016 rio olymics in mexico just so people can ask where it is

4 I just found out that my birthday is the same day as when I was born.

Oh my gosh really?! Is it magic?! I know! You were destined to be born! Unfortunately you wasted your life so...

Your birthday is on the same date every month, just on a different day

Seriously? It took you your whole life to make that discovery?

Isn't the "birth" in birthday the same as born?

5 Ebola is in Dallas, so I'm moving to Texas. I can't stay in a diseased country.

Sounds good. Earth fell into the hands of stupid people so I left earth completely and went to Japan.

Wait, Dallas is a country? You mean the countryside? I thought that was an urban city for a second.

Yeah, Dallas is my least favorite country too! Now, I live in a country called North America!

I'm leaving america and going to california I heard it's a good country LOL

6 I don't like dolphins anymore. Squirrels are my new favorite reptile.

Awesome! I love cats, their the best kind of insect you know. Their freindly to intelligent people though so you may have to stick with cold blooded squirrels

Do you like wasps? They're one of my favorite kind of fish. Also, stingrays are amazing insects

So squirrels nowadays are considered reptiles? But wait, they have fur, not scales.

Reptile!? Probably you don't know very much about animals.

7 Blue whales are mammals not animals.

No wonder I failed my science test I said that whales are animals and got an f

"Just when I thought they couldn't get any stupider."

So that means bats, cats, and dogs are not animals?

Spiders are arachnids not living creatures

8 Goodbye America, I'm going to New York.

New York City is a strange place. Lawfully, it is a part of America. In terms of people and what happens, it is a completely different world.

Goodbye Philippines, I'm going to Bohol!

Goodbye Indonesia, I'm going to Jakarta

No! Go to Florida instead you dummy!

9 I want my first daughter to be a girl.

Laugh out loud! This is nice. It reminds me of another joke - "I have two daughters and both are girls". I remember hearing this joke back when I was in high school.

It's really a chance thing, but I hope your first daughter is a girl for her sake. And also that she grows up in another family.

This person was very close just change daughter with Child. This person deserves claps he did his/her best

And there seems to be no sign of common sense anywhere...

10 Most Trees Are Blue

Shh... It's ok... Just look at those pretty blue trees! It will make you feel better about all those rude comments. Oh look! A pretty blue leaf fell, just stare at that while I grab my knife and stand behind you ominously ok?

I drew lots of pictures of trees that I colored blue, so does that count?

If you were on drugs or something, then yes they would be blue.

I once ate mcdonalds and my poop was pink and purple

The Newcomers

? Green light means go, red light means stop. Does yellow light mean speed up to avoid the red light?

The Contenders

11 The Olympics have been going on for 3000 years? There were only 2012 years.

Seriously! People who think the earth is 2012 years old are dumb! That is one reason why school is important!

Seriously? There have only been 2018 years? Don't forget about the billions of years before 1 AD.

Have you ever heard of B.C. ?

No wonder jesus christ inst in the list

12 How Can I Undo My Abortion?

First dance in your underwear on the roof, then join in a police chase, then finally become a CEREAL killer. It sounds up your alley.

Well first you change your name to Coreless, then you drink a little vodka (a few bottles should do the trick), and tell a perv your phone number and address.

It's simple, grab your mouse, right click then click undo. See! Easy isn't it?


13 I wish I was warm-blooded, then I would be warm all the time.

First, you ARE warm-blooded. Second, that's not the meaning of warm-blooded

That person might have taken the word "warm-blooded" too literally.

Then why do I feel warm then? And the same applies to other humans.

14 What is Obama's last name?

I hope Barack likes jelly filled donuts. Nothing beats like a jelly filled donut

Duh, Obama is His Last Name and his First Name is Barack.

Last name Is barack and first name is obama. (Sarcastic)

Barack. Yes, his name is Obama Barack

15 How are mirrors real if our eyes aren't real?

No matter how long I look at this quote, it never makes any more sense.

Oh, at first I thought this said "how are we minors if are eyes aren't real"

If our eyes aren't real, then how can we see? Exactly, our eyes are 100% real

Cause eyes and mirrors should switch places for names

16 Someone tried to convince me that the Sun is a star. The Sun is a sun.

You, child, are an astonishing example of how far mankind can go! How stupid they can become! Bless you, and I hope you die in peace

This guy also went to say that a tomato is not a fruit. Does this guy have a brain or not?

Someone tried to convice me that I'm a guy I'm not a guy I'm a jonathan (that's my real name)

Thank you! I have been wondering this for years

17 Do dogs have brains?

Umm, I am not sure about that. But they do know what they are doing.

Yeah, they do, but the problem is, do you?

Bigger brains than you have for sure

No they have bowls

18 Stop Being Mean To Me I Will Call 999

I was attempted with this in an online argument!

Oh no! Not my dentist! Anyone but that!

Actually, 999 IS the number for the police in the UK.. just saying

I need gods help so I'm going to dial 666

19 I'm sick of the US government, so I'm moving to California.

One issue- California is dictated by megatron now and he doesn't want any stupid or otherwise unintelligent life entering. #sorryyoucantcomein #Whatsthepassword #thishashtagthingissostupid

California isn't America anymore. It's a Hispanic Communist country that runs on Welfare

I'm sick of the universe so I'm moving to the milky way galaxy

California IS in America!

20 I've heard that guns don't kill people, people kill people, so does that mean that toasters don't toast toast, toast toasts toast?

I say this all the time. It's a favourite quote of mine.

I need help I'm in the grocery store and can't find toast

You know what they say! Toasters toast toast!

I feel a strong urge to have some toast now.

21 I want to have sex on top of the I fold tower.

I think someone tried that. It was very hard due to the flimsy folded towel structure. I think the Eiffel Tower is WAAAY more romantic and structurally sound

"I fold" tower? Is that a tower that can fold itself on a certain time? Don't you think it's a dangerous place to have sex?

Oh, a tower you can just fold? Lol.

Go ahead but don't fold you d! ck

22 Does Paris Hilton Live in Paris?

I think she does, and she probably even owns the city.(not meant to be taken seriously)

No, she lives in Hilton.

No, she lives on Pluto

Did isacc newton invent the newton?

23 Is it OK to have sex with an Asian woman because they can't get pregnant?

Yes! And if anything you can always eat a magic potato and cross your fingers and everything will be just fine. I mean if course Asian people fall from the sky, dropped by cloud mermaids. Common knowledge.

Well, apparently, Asia is the continent which has the biggest population in the world, so where do you think they come from? Chinese Laboratories? Factories? You decide!

This is both gross and racist. I feel so embarrassed as an Asian reading this.

Asia has the world's largest population, smart one.

24 I think the Titanic is fake, because how do they record it when everyone on the ship is dying!

Hmm... You don't suppose someone survived and that maybe you ever read your history do you? Nah!

If this movie is fake then every other movie with a ship sinking is fake as well

That's right, if you don't have photographic evidence it never happened(sarcastic)

It's just a movie!

25 Is it OK to touch myself when my parents have sex?

Sure, and try it with a bagel in your hat! It adds some spice to it, especially when you are dancing to the abc song

Depends on what you want your parents to view you like. Play it safe or be stupid.

Yeah, but you have to realize that you will be forever alone if you do so.

It depends on if you want a social life or not

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