Dumbest Things Said On the Internet

TheLister

The Top Ten

1 I was trapped on an escalator for hours. The power went out.

That person was obviously trolling - Kiteretsunu

Do you need power to walk? If not, then just walk up/down the escalator. - TheLister

Oh no! I feel so bad for that escalator! It had to deal with your stupid FOR HOURS!

Perhaps they have a problem with walking up escalators? Still. - bugger

V 16 Comments
2 Somebody tried to tell me that there were 50 states in America. The scientists found out Pluto didn't exist, so there is only 49.

I certainly recall something in the history books of America conquering Pluto. Then again, they'll conquer anything, hell yaw! - PositronWildhawk

Really? And here I was thinking Pluto was a dwarf planet all this time! Silly me! *SLAP*

In case you are wondering, I conquered Pluto when we thought it existed. - Skullkid755

Hahaaahahaahahaahahaaha. OK then. - kaisietoo

V 12 Comments
3 Where's the 2014 Brazil World Cup going to be held?

Pluto. It's being held on Pluto. - AnonymousChick

That's a hard one... It wouldn't be in... I don't know Brazil... That's way to obvious maybe it's a trick question.

To be fair, cups will sometimes have brand names or place names which aren't proper to the location they are supposed to be held in. It could be overlooked. - bugger

Now, this might be a bit shocking to you but... - DapperPickle

Wow. I losing the will to live with this list - kaisietoo

V 16 Comments
4 I just found out that my birthday is the same day as when I was born.

How's THAT for a coincidence? Haha! - Britgirl

That's why it's called a birthday. - TheLister

Oh my gosh really?! Is it magic?! I know! You were destined to be born! Unfortunately you wasted your life so...

No... impossible! - kaisietoo

V 15 Comments
5 Ebola is in Dallas, so I'm moving to Texas. I can't stay in a diseased country.

Sounds good. Earth fell into the hands of stupid people so I left earth completely and went to Japan.

Dude, Dallas IS in Texas and Ebola is in Texas too, so move to London.

First of all, Dallas is IN Texas. Second, Dallas isn't a country!

Disgusting. Move to Florida instead. - kaisietoo

V 13 Comments
6 I don't like dolphins anymore. Squirrels are my new favorite reptile.

Neither of them are reptiles. - TheLister

Do you like wasps? They're one of my favorite kind of fish. Also, stingrays are amazing insects - XxDarkStorm_PhoenixMothxX

So squirrels nowadays are considered reptiles? But wait, they have fur, not scales. - AnimeDrawer

Dogs are mine - kaisietoo

V 11 Comments
7 Blue whales are mammals not animals.

No wonder I failed my science test I said that whales are animals and got an f - Jonathan4Life

So that means bats, cats, and dogs are not animals? - AnimeDrawer

Crocodiles are reptiles not living creatures - FireWasp2004

Well... - kaisietoo

V 4 Comments
8 I want my first daughter to be a girl.

Laugh out loud! This is nice. It reminds me of another joke - "I have two daughters and both are girls". I remember hearing this joke back when I was in high school. - Zizz

This person is in luck then. - gemcloben

It's really a chance thing, but I hope your first daughter is a girl for her sake. And also that she grows up in another family.

I want my moms first daughter to be a girl. - Lucretia

V 14 Comments
9 The Olympics have been going on for 3000 years? There were only 2012 years.

Seriously! People who think the earth is 2012 years old are dumb! That is one reason why school is important!

V 4 Comments
10 Most Trees Are Blue

If you were on drugs or something, then yes they would be blue. - NuMetalManiak

I drew lots of pictures of trees that I colored blue, so does that count? - BlueTopazIceVanilla

No way! Most trees are purple with gold stripes! - XxDarkStorm_PhoenixMothxX

Wasn't that Jaden Smith that said that? - kaisietoo

V 13 Comments

The Contenders

11 Goodbye America, I'm going to New York.

Yeah, there's one problem: New York is INSIDE America! - Turkeyasylum

If you go to New York, you'd be an Englishman. So at least you'd leave your American nationality behind. - bugger

Goodbye Philippines, I'm going to Bohol! - Neonco31

Goodbye America, but not completely, because WE ARE IN NEW YORK! - AnimeDrawer

No! Go to Florida instead you dummy! - kaisietoo

V 7 Comments
12 How Can I Undo My Abortion?

First dance in your underwear on the roof, then join in a police chase, then finally become a CEREAL killer. It sounds up your alley.

It's simple, grab your mouse, right click then click undo. See! Easy isn't it? - StephanTheIdiot

How can I get pregnant without having sex - Jonathan4Life

Impossible! - Neonco31

V 3 Comments
13 I wish I was warm-blooded, then I would be warm all the time.

That person might have taken the word "warm-blooded" too literally. - Kiteretsunu

You ARE warm blooded! Your a mammal! - NikBrusk

First, you ARE warm-blooded. Second, that's not the meaning of warm-blooded - XxDarkStorm_PhoenixMothxX

Then why do I feel warm then? And the same applies to other humans. - AnimeDrawer

14 Stop Being Mean To Me I Will Call 999

I saw someone say this because they thought people were being mean to him but he was the real jerk and then thought they should get arrested and said 999 instead of 911 - simpsondude

I need gods help so I'm going to dial 666 - Jonathan4Life

This is how to do it in London

But that is not even an emergancy. We need to call 888! - AnimeDrawer

V 6 Comments
15 What is Obama's last name?

Duh, Obama is His Last Name and his First Name is Barack.

Last name Is barack and first name is obama. (Sarcastic) - AnonymousChick

Barack. Yes, his name is Obama Barack - XxDarkStorm_PhoenixMothxX

I hope Barack likes jelly filled donuts. Nothing beats like a jelly filled donut - YoshiApple

V 7 Comments
16 How are mirrors real if our eyes aren't real?

No matter how long I look at this quote, it never makes any more sense.

Oh, at first I thought this said "how are we minors if are eyes aren't real" - EliHbk

If our eyes aren't real, then how can we see? Exactly, our eyes are 100% real

Cause eyes and mirrors should switch places for names - Skullkid755

V 1 Comment
17 Someone tried to convince me that the Sun is a star. The Sun is a sun.

You, child, are an astonishing example of how far mankind can go! How stupid they can become! Bless you, and I hope you die in peace

This guy also went to say that a tomato is not a fruit. Does this guy have a brain or not?

The Sun is a sun is a star. - TheLister

Someone tried to convice me that I'm a guy I'm not a guy I'm a jonathan (that's my real name) - Jonathan4Life

V 1 Comment
18 Do dogs have brains?

Yeah, they do, but the problem is, do you? - XxDarkStorm_PhoenixMothxX

Umm, I am not sure about that. But they do know what they are doing. - AnimeDrawer

No they have bowls - SirSkeletorThe3rd

Do you? - Jonathan4Life

V 4 Comments
19 I've heard that guns don't kill people, people kill people, so does that mean that toasters don't toast toast, toast toasts toast?

You know what they say! Toasters toast toast!

Toasters toast BREAD. Get your facts straight first.

I say this all the time. It's a favourite quote of mine. - Wolftail

Yes, actually - EliHbk

V 8 Comments
20 Is it OK to have sex with an Asian woman because they can't get pregnant?

Yes! And if anything you can always eat a magic potato and cross your fingers and everything will be just fine. I mean if course Asian people fall from the sky, dropped by cloud mermaids. Common knowledge.

Well, apparently, Asia is the continent which has the biggest population in the world, so where do you think they come from? Chinese Laboratories? Factories? You decide!

Asia has the world's largest population, smart one. - TwilightKitsune

How is this person so damn stupid?

V 2 Comments
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List Stats

200 votes
76 listings
2 years, 354 days old

Top Remixes (12)

1. My HIV tests came back positive. I'M CLEAN! Thank God for good health!
2. Will getting an abortion make me back into a virgin?
3. When he's left and you can still smell his colon on his pillow...
Turkeyasylum
1. How are mirrors real if our eyes aren't real?
2. How Can I Undo My Abortion?
3. I want to have sex on top of the I fold tower.
Elina
1. Somebody tried to tell me that there were 50 states in America. The scientists found out Pluto didn't exist, so there is only 49.
2. Where's the 2014 Brazil World Cup going to be held?
3. I just found out that my birthday is the same day as when I was born.
Puga

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