Top Ten Dumbest Things to Say When You Know You've Been Caught In the Act

Britgirl
You know you've been caught doing something you shouldn't but instead of 'fessing up, we tell blatant lies. But what's the dumbest excuse for your treachery? Spill, I say.

The Top Ten

1 It's not what it looks like, babe - she fell on me. . .!

And I suppose her clothing was torn off in the G-force of the fall...? - Britgirl

This is so funny. What a dumb thing to say.

Now this one is way too close to home! - Barry2013

UYes, she fell on you and knocked your close off. - HeavyDonkeyKong

2 I didn't touch one biscuit, Mum - I swear!

The last biscuit in the tin is the one you didn't touch, hmm? - Britgirl

Such a cunning play of words. This gave a lot of ideas. - Kiteretsunu

3 I wasn't shoplifting, I'm pregnant!

Just as your swag falls from your jumper..Ha! Explain yourself then, Madam. - Britgirl

V 1 Comment
4 I wasn't watching porn, babe. I was flicking through the channels when the batteries in the remote died just as this came on.

PositronWildhawk...! Are you speaking from experience...?! Haha! - Britgirl

It's the easy one to fake. Just replace the batteries in the remote with dead ones in advance, and constantly tap it as if you were changing channel. - PositronWildhawk

I've used this when on my laptop I've watched Tickling videos of Girls
I'm like my friend told me to see this or I'm just watching a funny youtube video - Curti2594

5 Hello boss, uh, when I said I was I'll and couldn't come in today I meant it. The doctor told me the footie match would be good for me. I'm not enjoying it. . . YES GOAL! V 2 Comments
6 I wasn't picking my nose, I was SCRATCHING it. (wipes finger)

I think a lot of people uses this one. - funnyuser

V 1 Comment
7 There's no-one in bed with me. What this? This is a hernia. I'm in agony, babe!

That one killed me! That is by far the silliest excuse for anything in the world! Your best list so far, Britgirl. - PositronWildhawk

This will make her forget all about the other person in the bed - Songsta41

V 1 Comment
8 I wasn't snoring. I was just hearing what I would sound like if I ever did snore.

This is funny. Along with number 9! - funnyuser

9 Err... no, it's not sex, it's a medical exam!

Let's not go into the details about the "exam". Chances are it's a new "way of doing it". Save it for the students. - PositronWildhawk

I'm just going to say it. It's MY list so...was it an "oral" exam? - Britgirl

Really that's the oddest medical exam iv seen

V 1 Comment
10 I no speak English

I hear this many times in my job. - Britgirl

This reminds me of an electric song I Speak No Americano. - funnyuser

The Contenders

11 I didn't do it
12 It Wasn't Me It Was My Twin

It would be nice if I had a almost identical twin or even a twin. - funnyuser

13 I wasn't cheating. I was looking at HER answers to see if she was right too!

I wonder what the teacher would say to that. - Minecraftcrazy530

I actually do that...A LOT.

14 I'm sleepwalking. . .

I've done that before it totally works because if I'm scared as hell I go to my parents room. Wake up and say how did I get here and they said you sleepwalked when we all know I ran up in that room. Haha

15 Who are you talking too? Um sorry babe my phone connection's bad - so is our relationship

This is also a Line in a Song but it's kind of Brilliant when you think of it! - Curti2594

V 1 Comment
16 It wasn't me...
17 No, No, no.... No... pff why would I - *Run off*
18 I swear, honey, that gal you saw me with was fake! It was a transvestite I was trying to get away from!
19 I wasn't asleep. I was studying the inside of my eyelids!

And herhis mother said," How could you do that? " I was looking real hard. " yeah right ". - funnyuser

20 I thought that blow-up doll was YOU babe!

I've written a short story about this situation. It was never published. Haha.. - Britgirl

V 1 Comment
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List StatsUpdated 22 Sep 2017

23 listings
4 years, 15 days old

Top Remixes

1. I didn't touch one biscuit, Mum - I swear!
2. It's not what it looks like, babe - she fell on me. . .!
3. I wasn't shoplifting, I'm pregnant!
venomouskillingmachine
1. It's not what it looks like, babe - she fell on me. . .!
2. I didn't touch one biscuit, Mum - I swear!
3. I wasn't shoplifting, I'm pregnant!
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