Dumbest Things to Say In an Election Speech


The Top Ten

1 I will try to give everyone in this state a lifetime supply of fart.
2 Fools of this state, please vote because you need a foolish leader and I'm thar.

A fool will not say that! - nobita

3 I'm the great grandson of Adolph Hitler and an expert in hula dancer.
4 Women will be banished and children will earn money by working in offices.

As if they will let you do that. - nobita

5 Anyone wants toffees, bungalows and robots for housework then give me votes and the money to buy them.

This is one of the best lists I've read in a long time, Nobita! I laughed real hard at this!
God bless, have a lovely day. (And life. ) - HezarioSeth

6 Sing and dance on the song of baby.
7 From now on your state will be called Monkey and you all will be called Monkeynians.
8 Please vote so that we can transport illegal drugs and sell them.

This seems like a great idea. - MoldySock

9 Prepare yourself for bombs.
10 I'm going to win. You don't like it, you can vote.

If you wish to issue complaints, vote for the morons! Thing is, here in Britain, there are few parties that actually know what they're doing. - PositronWildhawk

The Contenders

11 You have to give 4/4 money of your income as tax.
12 You're in the wrong country, aren't you?
13 If Kim Jong-un presses that button, we're all going to die.
14 Let my face be in every school. No, I'm not a dictator.
15 Actually, I hate all you lousy suckers. Um, hehe?
16 I supplied Rob Ford's coke.
17 I am practically a legend.
18 I'm so freakin' cool.
19 Vote, for me, will ya?
20 Ye suckers. Badass suckers.
21 Has anyone in this lovely audience ever choked a baby hippo to the death? Try it! It's refreshing.
22 Uh...
23 Blimey! I just farted. Haha!
24 Ah gonna kill y'all.
25 Ah. Now what the heck was I supposed to belt out at you suckers?
26 Yonder fools. Hither die.
27 Do you know what crap I gonna squeak now?
28 Have any of you in this marvelous audience a clue as to how many times I'm going to lie in this speech?
29 You sucks. Sorry, suck.
30 You all suck! And I mean it.
31 Please don't vote for me. Please don't vote for me. Please don't vote for me.
32 Bally gawkheads! What're y'all waitin' here for?!
33 Blimey! What am I supposed to say?! Er - gadies and lentlemen, no, I mean - badies and - damn it. Crappy suckers.
34 Yoho, and a bottle of rum!
35 Yeah! Democracy stinks, suckers!!!
36 Democracy, my foot.
37 Forget about this rot about democracy. Just focus on me. Yeah, me. I'm pretty hot, huh?
38 How many of you suckers on Facebook?
39 Hahahaha! Er - sorry, folks. We just got secret information that the former president has farted.
40 Woah... All you suckers came to see me?
41 Bah humbug!!!
42 Even my spit is in the bally constitution.
43 For the people, by the people, and whatever... Forget that crap, people. I gonna take y'all to a whole new level.
44 I'm mad but not so mad. I'm foolish but not so foolish. I'm boring but not so boring. I'm the most wanted criminal.

WOW! This is gonna get the chap votes! Who added this? Really liked it. - HezarioSeth

45 Vote for me, or China cannot send their people with weapons to use this as a headquarter to win India.
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