Dumbest Yahoo! Answers Questions

This is what happens when every one is given a net connection... When some weirdos are out there... but even that can have some positive implications... like now, this is whole lot of fun. Some stupid, some weird and some just plain dumb... Here are some amazing (of which only 40% can spell) people with special brains that have used Yahoo! Answers to make the world aware of their presence.

The Top Ten

How do you ask a question on yahoo answers?

I tell you when I find how to answer these yahoo answers...

Actually the person who asked this actually had a mental problem that which he could not remember stuff for long. So I feel bad for the person who asked this, and all the people on the question itself who answered this actually were serious.

I tried to ask this question but I couldn't because I can't ask yahoo questions. So thanks for asking this question for me. Now we both have to wait until we have a good answer. Too bad it isn't the case. I mean if you don't know how to make yahoo answers just don't answer and if you think the guy asking this question is dumb, can you at least answer to prove your intelligence superiority over us. That would be very helpful.

Ya know I don't know I think you might though so maybe you could ask jeeves or something, or maybe you might want to post another question

How do I type?

All you gotta do is yell at the keyboard until it types something

Sweet Mother Mary McCartney, you just did to answer that boneheaded question!

I have no clue...

Train your keyboard to do easy things first, like sit down or eat marshmallows, just then you train it to type a letter, to do a complete word like "banana" you will have to train it a lot.

My printer won't print .gifs properly?

Oh, dear god... Of course they're not moving! You bought the wrong ink! The proper ink is sold at Gringott's Bank.

I'm sorry but we are not in Harry Potter.

Don't forget the cargo shorts, you need to be wearing cargo shorts.

Try using water instead of ink. That way it should print smoothly and lightly enough to print it correctly.

Can your baby get preganent if you have sex while preganent?

Sure... Its dangerous, though the baby can get preganent only if it's a female. If you suspect your baby is preganent try not to have sex again.. You run the risk of getting your baby's baby preganentand and that can lead to complications like an infinite loop... (We really need to make sure people are ready to be parents... WEIRDOS)

Sex is so interesting

Yes. Your baby will be pregnant and the other sperm will impregnate your babes baby and it will be a infinite circle. you will have great great great great great grey great great great grand children in about 6 weeks

Only if you are a magic bean from Hogwarts

Is this a question?

Is this an answer

No. It's a holographic time lapse of the rainbow-unicorn wormhole effect on Justin Timberlake.

Yes! What else would it be? (I just asked a question)

Of course you dumbass!

Does looking at a picture of the sun hurt your eyes?

Yes, pictures of the sun radiate harmful like just like the sun itself. put one in your rrom on a dark night for light

Yes, if it is enchanted by a wizard or witch at Hogwarts with a spell that makes things ridiculsly bright and shiny. If it is, expect to find glowing radars shining out of the screen and glowing.

Sure if you look at it close enough.

If you want it too, then go to a photo editor, and go to brightness, and set it to maximum. Now print it, and go outside to look at it

Help! I cannot take off my mother's bra and she's gonna be home in 5 minutes!!! The mirror doesn't help much!?

What the hell are you doing with your mother's bra?

If that's a boy that's hilarious.

First of all, why is she (at least, I hope it's a she) wearing her mothers bra in the first place? That's just messed up. Second of all, how would you have the time to type that, and then expect people to answer the question in the span of 5 minutes (by then, it would actually be less). This is the stupidest question on this list.

If your a boy that's messed up.

HOW DO YOU TURN OFF CAPS LOCK?

I'll answer that question when you stop shouting at me.

WHAT ARE YOU talking abouT? SORRY FOR THIs because my CAPS lOck keeP GETTING Stuck and there's NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT it!

Arrow, that point down on your keyboard

The same way you turned it on dummy

If the Big Bang really happened, why are there no pictures of it?

Scientists were to busy posting selfies

The Big Bang was very camera shy. Scientists could not get it to stand still.

This was very entertaining.

Because the sun took up all of its Phone's memory on Instagram and Facebook.

I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. how do i get my car back?

I tried to contact this guy but it seems he also sold his computer to help pay for internet connection...

Hmm... Tried calling him, but it sees he sold his phone to pay for phone bills and doesn't have a landline...

I think the second one is worse because the first one is due to ignorance and this one is due to lack of common sense.

Try buying it from the person you bought it from and trading it. Plus you shouldn't have sold your car in the first place! It would be better for you to write in here if you should have sold your car. Then we could have prevented you from doing something stupid

The Contenders

Why am I here?

Well...when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much. THEY ADOPT.

Where do we come from, Why are we here, where do we go when we die? What lies beyond, and what lay before, is anything certain in life?

Actually this is a fair question from a philosophical view. Why did it have to be that a certain combination and arrangement of genes, etc, to form you and not someone else?

To ask why am I here

How do I spell "monkey?"

My knee wont grow is that a problem?

I thin you spell it "munkee"

Its spelled Monkey

Do you mean lugubrious?

Is this planet called Earth? I'm confused.

Are you an alien?

I think the only living being that would ask a question as stupid and counterintuitive as this would be an alien. If you are not an alien and you inquire what our planet is called, you quite possibly have serious mental issues and need to have your IQ tested. I can feel mine dropping right now just reading this question.

You just answered the question dummy!

You can also call the earth the world

What galaxy do we live in?

We live in the solar system

Earth, of course.

The Mario Galaxy. (Jk that was not funny at all...)

Homo sapien center.

Who is best Justin Bieber or Jesus Christ?

Jesus He died for all humans and got the human race be able to reconcile to God the Father.

Jesus saved us. This is incomparable. Oh, wait. Let's make a list of reasons why Jesus is better than Justin Bieber!

Wait, it isn't obvious? Dang

Christ, man, he brings us Christmas Every year!

Do you lose your virginity if you fall?

Did you fall onto a vagina. repeatedly?

Not if you fall onto a penis or onto a vagina or butthole no

Damn, I really did wonder this is when I was a kid... I might've even had stumbled upon the original question on yahoo...

Short answer; no.

Only applies if you have a serious floor fetish

8=====D is this a shovel or crying smiley face? So confused?

It could be... But it could be a lot of other things too...

It must be a shovel because you can't cry while smiling. Or you would eat your tears. People cry before they smile.

Nope for my logic of deez nuts that's a penis

It's a penis you idiot.

Why are the holes in cats fur always in the right places for there eyes?

What has this world come to...

There are no holes! Those are balls. Are if there was holes, the cats were shy and were too scared of showing the spots to anybody so they put their eyes in it so nobody will notice their holes

This is really stoopid but still

Usually, if not try to get him to take it off and put it on the other way round

Is justin bieber the 5th beatle?

A loss of some faith on humanity right on the spot.

Yes, he's the backup singer for Ringo.

This question is insulting to the Beatles.

No he's the second devil.

Is it okay to shove pizza up my butt for revenge on my mom?

No. You have to shove it up her butt.

Only on the weekends

Yes. Enjoy farting out pepperoni.

Yes but your supposed to masturbate on it first

Are the twin towers in New Zealand?

Why are you asking? Oh. I bet you just forgot all about 9/11.

Yes, my brother was a kamikaze I was supposed to go with him but I overslept, everyone got mad at me but in 2017 I'll crash into the new tower but yes it's in New Zealand, but no worries no one cares anymore it's been 15 years.

Naw...Osama moved the twin tower to Afghanistan

Twin towers where in my moms stomach before we were born

Am I a human?

No, you're a majestic unicorn who farts rainbows

No, your a giant cat unicorn with one trillion heads and farts to fly

No. Your a person who doesn't know if you are a human or not.

No you are a secret unicorn that pukes sparkles and rainbows that also farts magical gnomes.

Can a dog get pregnant from sperm from a human because when I wasn't home my boyfriend got horny and had sex with my dog and i think shes pregnant... is that possible?

Seriously... Okay that's just Sick! No your dog can NOT get pregnant. They don't share the same DNA, but I would get your boyfriend check. Something is honestly wrong with him... Poor Dog :/

Yes its possible. I've had sex with many dogs... also cats unicorns Miley Cyrus 3 elephants and an oak tree

I have the same problem

You'll have to get some Plan B and a pregnancy test, and maybe a new boyfriend.

How to become a greatest walrus?

I know the solution to your problem. I had this same problem as you a few years ago. It is simple really, all you have to do is follow a few steps: Make sure you have some towels nearby, as this might get a little messy. First, stick a pencil inside a strawberry and throw it at a wall. Then, take a lemon and put it on your forehead for 3 hours without moving. At this point you should start noticing some tusks forming. After that, you are going to want to grab one of your towels and wrap it around a squirrel with some whipped cream inside of it. Then, take a toaster and put your hand inside of it. Don't start it, because you could seriously hurt yourself, and we don't want that. Now, grab a rusty nail and step on it. Don't scream, you will have to start over. And we don't want that. We all want you to be "a greatest walrus". Don't worry, you will become a full walrus by next week. Have fun!

How is this a dumb question? This is a great question!

I think John Lennon asked this question.

I've never had so much confidence in the human race in my entire life

I was bitten by a totrtoise when i was a lad...can i eat orange now?

You kids where do you come with such stuff... Rather GOD where do you find such nuts

No. It's a well known fact that tortoises have chlorophosphific acid in their saliva, a compound, that for unknown reasons reacts violently with orange juice. So unless you want your body to spontaneously combust, it is strongly recommended that you stay away from any orange products.

Find out by eating a orange now. Or hire a servant that was bitten by a tortoise to try eating oranges. Or else ask Harry Potter or Hermione Granger to do a spell on you so that you can eat oranges without any worry.

It is can I eat orange juice now

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