Dumbest Yahoo! Answers Questions

This is what happens when every one is given a net connection... When some weirdos are out there... but even that can have some positive implications... like now, this is whole lot of fun. Some stupid, some weird and some just plain dumb... Here are some amazing (of which only 40% can spell) people with special brains that have used Yahoo! Answers to make the world aware of their presence.

The Top Ten

1 How do you ask a question on yahoo answers?

I tell you when I find how to answer these yahoo answers...

Actually the person who asked this actually had a mental problem that which he could not remember stuff for long. So I feel bad for the person who asked this, and all the people on the question itself who answered this actually were serious. - floridiancat

Ya know I don't know I think you might though so maybe you could ask jeeves or something, or maybe you might want to post another question

I don't know ask again tomorrow. - 3DG20

V 58 Comments
2 Can your baby get preganent if you have sex while preganent?

Sure... Its dangerous, though the baby can get preganent only if it's a female. If you suspect your baby is preganent try not to have sex again.. You run the risk of getting your baby's baby preganentand and that can lead to complications like an infinite loop... (We really need to make sure people are ready to be parents... WEIRDOS)

Sex is so interesting

Yes. Your baby will be pregnant and the other sperm will impregnate your babes baby and it will be a infinite circle. you will have great great great great great grey great great great grand children in about 6 weeks

How do you get “preganent”? - 3DG20

V 33 Comments
3 How do I type?

All you gotta do is yell at the keyboard until it types something

Sweet Mother Mary McCartney, you just did to answer that boneheaded question!

I have no clue...

It’s easy. Just smash your head into the keyboard. - 3DG20

V 41 Comments
4 My printer won't print .gifs properly?

Oh, dear god... Of course they're not moving! You bought the wrong ink! The proper ink is sold at Gringott's Bank.

I'm sorry but we are not in Harry Potter.

Don't forget the cargo shorts, you need to be wearing cargo shorts.

It’s 2018, not 2156... - 3DG20

V 25 Comments
5 Does looking at a picture of the sun hurt your eyes?

Yes, pictures of the sun radiate harmful like just like the sun itself. put one in your rrom on a dark night for light

Yes, if it is enchanted by a wizard or witch at Hogwarts with a spell that makes things ridiculsly bright and shiny. If it is, expect to find glowing radars shining out of the screen and glowing. - leah2006

Sure if you look at it close enough. - funnyuser

If you want it too, then go to a photo editor, and go to brightness, and set it to maximum. Now print it, and go outside to look at it - SpectralOwl

V 22 Comments
6 Is this a question?

Is this an answer

No. It's a holographic time lapse of the rainbow-unicorn wormhole effect on Justin Timberlake.

Yes! What else would it be? (I just asked a question) - cosmo

I don't know is mayonnaise a question? - 3DG20

V 30 Comments
7 Help! I cannot take off my mother's bra and she's gonna be home in 5 minutes!!! The mirror doesn't help much!?

What the hell are you doing with your mother's bra?

If that's a boy that's hilarious.

First of all, why is she (at least, I hope it's a she) wearing her mothers bra in the first place? That's just messed up. Second of all, how would you have the time to type that, and then expect people to answer the question in the span of 5 minutes (by then, it would actually be less). This is the stupidest question on this list. - Minecraftcrazy530

Imagine if the mom's SON said this. - isaaonrtdmtr

V 41 Comments
8 Why are the holes in cats fur always in the right places for there eyes?

What has this world come to...

There are no holes! Those are balls. Are if there was holes, the cats were shy and were too scared of showing the spots to anybody so they put their eyes in it so nobody will notice their holes - leah2006

This is really stoopid but still

I don't know - RoseCandyMusic

V 7 Comments
9 Is it okay to shove pizza up my butt for revenge on my mom?

No. You have to shove it up her butt.

Only on the weekends

Yes. Enjoy farting out pepperoni.

As long as you slap her with it after. - 3DG20

V 16 Comments
10 Is this planet called Earth? I'm confused.

Are you an alien?

I think the only living being that would ask a question as stupid and counterintuitive as this would be an alien. If you are not an alien and you inquire what our planet is called, you quite possibly have serious mental issues and need to have your IQ tested. I can feel mine dropping right now just reading this question. - RockFashionista

You just answered the question dummy!

No, it’s called Uranus. - 3DG20

V 34 Comments

The Newcomers

? I want a new letter in the alphabet?

The Contenders

11 Is justin bieber the 5th beatle?

A loss of some faith on humanity right on the spot. - zam67

Yes, he's the backup singer for Ringo. - swagmaster97

This question is insulting to the Beatles. - Minecraftcrazy530

No, Yoko Ono is the 5th beatle. (Jk don’t hurt me) - 3DG20

V 30 Comments
12 I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. how do i get my car back?

I tried to contact this guy but it seems he also sold his computer to help pay for internet connection...

Hmm... Tried calling him, but it sees he sold his phone to pay for phone bills and doesn't have a landline...

I think the second one is worse because the first one is due to ignorance and this one is due to lack of common sense.

If you sold the car, there is no point of getting gasoline

V 23 Comments
13 Can a dog get pregnant from sperm from a human because when I wasn't home my boyfriend got horny and had sex with my dog and i think shes pregnant... is that possible?

Seriously... Okay that's just Sick! No your dog can NOT get pregnant. They don't share the same DNA, but I would get your boyfriend check. Something is honestly wrong with him... Poor Dog :/

Yes its possible. I've had sex with many dogs... also cats unicorns Miley Cyrus 3 elephants and an oak tree

I have the same problem

Be happy your dog's even alive after being raped by a human. Your boyfriend though...you best re-evaluate dating him. - isaaonrtdmtr

V 19 Comments
14 Help I Accidentally Built a Shelf?

Oh my gosh I can just imagine this scenario.

Guy is on the internet, blacks out and wakes up with a hammer in his hand and a shelf.


This one is legend now

Really man? That wood could've built a birdhouse and you waste it on a shelf? Damn your accidents. - Puga

I wonder if this guy can 'Accidentally' Get me a girlfriend - SpectralOwl

V 25 Comments
15 I was bitten by a totrtoise when i was a lad...can i eat orange now?

You kids where do you come with such stuff... Rather GOD where do you find such nuts

No. It's a well known fact that tortoises have chlorophosphific acid in their saliva, a compound, that for unknown reasons reacts violently with orange juice. So unless you want your body to spontaneously combust, it is strongly recommended that you stay away from any orange products. - monney30P

Find out by eating a orange now. Or hire a servant that was bitten by a tortoise to try eating oranges. Or else ask Harry Potter or Hermione Granger to do a spell on you so that you can eat oranges without any worry. - leah2006

No, orange kills you after that tortoise infection.

V 14 Comments
16 8=====D is this a shovel or crying smiley face? So confused?

It could be... But it could be a lot of other things too...

It must be a shovel because you can't cry while smiling. Or you would eat your tears. People cry before they smile.

Nope for my logic of deez nuts that's a penis - CerealGuy

Neither. It's a UFO zooming off. - isaaonrtdmtr

V 31 Comments
17 If the Big Bang really happened, why are there no pictures of it?

Scientists were to busy posting selfies

The Big Bang was very camera shy. Scientists could not get it to stand still.

This was very entertaining.

The big bang had to happen but the cameraman forgot to take off the lens - SpectralOwl

V 30 Comments
18 How do I spell "monkey?"

My knee wont grow is that a problem?

Its spelled Monkey

Do you mean lugubrious?

I thin you spell it "munkee" - isaaonrtdmtr

V 17 Comments
19 Why am I here?

Well...when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much. THEY ADOPT. - swagmaster97

Where do we come from, Why are we here, where do we go when we die? What lies beyond, and what lay before, is anything certain in life? - IronSabbathPriest

Actually this is a fair question from a philosophical view. Why did it have to be that a certain combination and arrangement of genes, etc, to form you and not someone else?

Because daddy forgot to get condoms one night. - 3DG20

V 16 Comments
20 How do you breathe?

You are alive how?

No guys, a plant is smarter than this guy

Do you even breathe bro? - CerealGuy

Through your ear. - 3DG20

V 17 Comments
21 Who is best Justin Bieber or Jesus Christ?

Jesus He died for all humans and got the human race be able to reconcile to God the Father.

Jesus saved us. This is incomparable. Oh, wait. Let's make a list of reasons why Jesus is better than Justin Bieber!

Wait, it isn't obvious? Dang

One of Justin Bieber's fans said he has more swag than Jesus Christ. - Redrocm

V 43 Comments
22 What galaxy do we live in?

We live in the solar system - SpectralOwl

Earth, of course.

The Mario Galaxy. (Jk that was not funny at all...) - 3DG20

Homo sapien center. - BlueberryCatfish

23 Is there a spell to become a mermaid that actually works?

Yes, you go in the ocean go underwater and say I'm a pretty, pretty mermaid and say it how many times you need to. - funnyuser

Say. I want to really be a mermaid to in front of your goldfish. Or get a MASSIVE fish, cut off the bottom, cut your legs off, and put the bottom fish part of you (this is sad). - floridiancat

Yes, first you find a pretty pretty Pegasus, marry it, then go into a deep ocean and say "I'm a pretty pretty mermaid! " And see what happens. Ariel shall come if Ursula doesn't eat you first. - Magenta_Flame

Yes. See that cliff over there? All you have to do is fall off!

V 13 Comments
24 Do you lose your virginity if you fall?

Did you fall onto a vagina. repeatedly?

Not if you fall onto a penis or onto a vagina or butthole no - gunginos

Damn, I really did wonder this is when I was a kid... I might've even had stumbled upon the original question on yahoo...

Short answer; no. - keycha1n

Only applies if you have a serious floor fetish - SpectralOwl

V 11 Comments
25 Are the twin towers in New Zealand?

Why are you asking? Oh. I bet you just forgot all about 9/11.

Yes, my brother was a kamikaze I was supposed to go with him but I overslept, everyone got mad at me but in 2017 I'll crash into the new tower but yes it's in New Zealand, but no worries no one cares anymore it's been 15 years.

Naw...Osama moved the twin tower to Afghanistan - CerealGuy

No, it’s in Mars. - 3DG20

V 7 Comments

I'll answer that question when you stop shouting at me. - swagmaster97

WHAT ARE YOU talking abouT? SORRY FOR THIs because my CAPS lOck keeP GETTING Stuck and there's NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT it!

Arrow, that point down on your keyboard


V 25 Comments
27 Why doesn't Hitler have facebook?

His mother banned him from using Facebook otherwise all of his plans would be out

He used to before it went mainstream

Because Facebook was created by Jews. - LordOfTheOnionRings

Cause he is not living.

V 11 Comments
28 Is justin beiber's movie only going to play one day? The preview only said it was going to play on Febuary 11th so im curious...

Justin beiber's fans are so dumb... Laugh out loud

I'm laughing way too hard. Who asks these types of questions? What has this world even come to? I really hope that question was a prank!

Curiosity killed the cat.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a serious question. - 3DG20

V 6 Comments
29 Why did the Beatles copy Justin Bieber?

Please don't be the person to kill my faith in humanity.

It's the reverse you idiots... And Justin couldn't even try to match the greatness of John, Paul, George, and Ringo. - Pony

You are the definition of stupid.

Same reason Justin Bieber copies Jacob Sartorius. - 3DG20

V 15 Comments
30 Am I a human?

No, you're a majestic unicorn who farts rainbows - kaitlynrad11

No. Your a person who doesn't know if you are a human or not.

No you are a secret unicorn that pukes sparkles and rainbows that also farts magical gnomes. - Magenta_Flame

No, you are an idiot. - 3DG20

V 28 Comments
31 Is it Yahoo Answers or Yahoo Answers?

I understand what this question means. It's not stupid just random. It means like, is it just called 'Yahoo Answers' because it contains answers or is it called 'Yahoo Answers' as in yahoo answers your question. Do you understand

You have to solve the equation first yahoo answers-yahoo answers equals 0 to the power of 6 so the answer is yahoo questions

Of course the answer is W.

The answer is 42. - 3DG20

V 15 Comments
32 If poison expires, does it make it better or worse?

That's actually really funny.

I drank expired poison and I became a soda bottle. - floridiancat

It depends on whether or not you are in love with a unicorn of course it's basic logic

It's actually a good question. - BlueberryCatfish

V 8 Comments
33 Should I tell my parents that I'm adopted?

Did you adopt your parents?

What you kept it a secret?...your parents are going to be mad if they get to know this

If you are sure 100 % adopted.. How did you know if someone didn't tell you were actually adopted? Dumbass

Yes your parents didn't know that - RoseCandyMusic

V 9 Comments
34 Is It Illegal to Name a Dog After a Movie?

I don't know. Are you guilty of this terrible crime?

No but its illegal to name a movie after a dog, (Beethoven, I'm looking at you).

I don't think its illegal if you name your dog anything but its illegal if you name it donald trump sweetheart

Not really. But I'm just saying that people (espcially cynophobes) will start to feel scared to death if you actually named your dog Cujo. - Redrocm

V 10 Comments
35 Are aliens real?

Hey! I'm Bill Cipher! Wanna learn about the MULTIVERSE?

Yes. They will invade Earth in 2080 but will be completely harmless because they are allergic to water.

Yeah they are and we just caught one its you

I honestly hope so. - Redrocm

V 5 Comments
36 My mouse stop working every time i lift it up from the table why is this? this is not just OS .i have linux and vista both same thing so its not drivers

Could it be the operator?

Just kill the mouse, It's family won't get revenge on you, helpless mouses. - funnyuser

God you people are stupid! Mouses are only on this world to eat cheese! Not control a computer!

Maybe it fell asleep. - 3DG20

V 8 Comments
37 How to become a greatest walrus?

I know the solution to your problem. I had this same problem as you a few years ago. It is simple really, all you have to do is follow a few steps: Make sure you have some towels nearby, as this might get a little messy. First, stick a pencil inside a strawberry and throw it at a wall. Then, take a lemon and put it on your forehead for 3 hours without moving. At this point you should start noticing some tusks forming. After that, you are going to want to grab one of your towels and wrap it around a squirrel with some whipped cream inside of it. Then, take a toaster and put your hand inside of it. Don't start it, because you could seriously hurt yourself, and we don't want that. Now, grab a rusty nail and step on it. Don't scream, you will have to start over. And we don't want that. We all want you to be "a greatest walrus". Don't worry, you will become a full walrus by next week. Have fun!

How is this a dumb question? This is a great question!

I think John Lennon asked this question. - MontyPython

You can’t if your name isn’t John Lennon. - 3DG20

V 14 Comments
38 If you bring a box of donuts to the police station, will the police like you?

In mesa Arizona that would make you the chief of police

That's how you get a 'get out of jail free' card in Monopoly. - swagmaster97

This is funny... But so true

Only if you bring them coffee with it

V 13 Comments
39 Can a girl and a guy be best friends?

No, but a guy and a teddy bear can be best friends. - 3DG20

Yes - RoseCandyMusic

Only if they guy gets friendzoned - Yatagarasu

No they have to be BFF4L and to do that they need to surf on Pizza-Shaped Pieces of wood and then do a barrel roll. But fairy dust under your pillow tonight while putting a fork on your nighttand (any kind) then put any meat (or tofu as an alternitive, you can also use honey with chedder cheeze in it if you don't have meat or your a vegetarian) then slap a wall with a glove and say: BFF4L BFF4L be my BFF4L. I hope were friends by sunrise" 21-30 times (the more you say it ((even over 30,)) the more of a possability it'll work, and if it dose, youll be BBBFFF4LLL! I wish you the bet of luck ^-^

V 1 Comment
40 Is America a country?

The answer is yes and no. There is a country called america and there are two continents called North America and South America. Coincidentally, the country called america is in the continent called North America.

America is a city on the planet America.

No, The Americas are continents. And the country we live in is called the United States

Nope. America is my city (get it? )! - Redrocm

V 17 Comments
41 Does it rain in Australia?

Everything is upside down in Australia, so it rains from the ground. - swagmaster97

Have you even heard of our floods?!

It's a Australian secret I shouldn't say anyone but I am saying you because you sound sweet yes it rains

I don't know, mate, look it up. - kcianciulli

V 5 Comments
42 Should America make China the 51st state so we can get better access to Chinese food?

Only if North Korea is the 52nd so the people have a chance of getting any food at all.

Ya, lets take over a country over 4 times our population with a military larger then our population for their style of food when we can just buy it.

Hey dude, take a grammar check... America is 2 continents and the United States is 1 country

yes please - BlueberryCatfish

V 9 Comments
43 Do midgets have night vision?

Yes, they are all secret agents like those from mission impossible and are super ninjas because they are small; therefore they come with built in night vision.

Yeah, they are small so they need some kind of gear vision. They stole our glasses and cat's eyes and used them, so now they have to run away from humans and cats. But yeah, they have night vision - leah2006

Who ever asked the question is in deep kimchi and I will beat them with some kimchi

These comments are lying liars! I’m a midget and I don’t have night vision! I’ve tried it and I smashed my head on a wall. D’:< - 3DG20

V 4 Comments
44 Can you catch aids from sex with a chicken? a mate told me he'd dun it. nd he is well scared. wot do i tell 'im?

Ah, the classic "for a friend" advice solicitation. This poster may as well have picked the username "ChickenF*****2009. "

And the best part? The "Best Answer" voted by the Dips***erati does not include any variation of "don't f*** chickens, " but rather, "tell your friend to use protection when having intercourse with birds. "

Unfortunately, the follow-up query, "what kind of protection? " appears to be missing -- I haven't really read the fine print on condom wrappers for a while, but I don't seem to recall any particular brand being "beak-resistant. " (It's clearly an untapped market for a budding entrepreneur, though. )

Right, it was totally your friend who screwed a chicken. I believe you.

Oh yes, I've had sex with many chickens... Also, horses, balloons, Harry Potter, pillowcases and a lamp. Your mate is in for a big shock!

Yeah.. the last time I had sex with my chicken she ended up pregnant. - AL9JL

V 4 Comments
45 Is Europe in North America or is it a separate country?

It's a city in North America. Its just about a 10min drive from The Milky Way

Are you even serious? I hope the person who wrote this was 8 or younger, or I just lost faith in society. - Minecraftcrazy530

It's not a country, Europe is a place that consists of loads of countries, like Britain, France, Spain, etc. It is no where near North America. I suggest you get of your iPhone and go to school.

Europe is the name of my house which is in North America.

V 11 Comments
46 Are my masturbation habits bad?

I love the guy's description of his habits:
"I have around 15-20 orgasms a day. Sometimes I reach into the 30's. I do it a lot, but I really don't know how to stop. "
First off, 15 to 20 times a day shouldn't be humanly possible. You'd have to cut out some other major component of your life to have the time. Like eating. Or breathing. And maybe he will lose his precious before he hits 15 But for me, truly, this question rises into the pantheon when a female offers up the very first response:
"wow that's a lot I only have like 2 or 3"

Careful now. If you masturbate too much you'll get a big red penis blister - bobbythebrony

Yes, it wears you work harder, it has become an addiction, and a blister will appear.

Might have a heart attack from to much stimulation. But just a bit wont hurt, infarct, its works as a cardio workout - BlueberryCatfish

V 3 Comments
47 Do universes exist in other galaxies?

Galaxies are inside Universes!

Yes, there are many universes in the thousands of other galaxies!

Well, actually, atoms are mini universes so yes - Yatagarasu

No the sea exist in other galaxies

V 4 Comments
48 If Little Johnny has three apples, and he eats one, how much does the Sun weigh?

See this is how I picture math

Every math problem ever

A turtle is traveling at the speed of sound, he eats a banana, what movie did Fred watch on Netflix last night?

20 ounces ever since Little Johnny broke the sun with his apple eating abilities.

V 19 Comments
49 Do you believe in goats?

No, I do not believe in goats... If you were to pay attention to school (this piece of information is told in kindergarden), teacher's would tell you that goats were only in fairy tails. Many people try to prove the existence of goats, but fail... So no, I don't believe in goats...

No but I believe in unicorns that poop out rainbows

I don't know do I?

Are you talking about Baphomet? - Redrocm

V 30 Comments
50 I thought cantelope was an animal!?

I thought so too... Are you saying it isn't?

It's pronounced Antelope, which is a deer like animal that lives in America. This animal has 2 prong horns on top of it's head, giving it the nickname "pronghorn."

Don't be silly of course it is!

It's pronounced antelope, dumbass - mayamanga

Its antelope not cantelope. - Catacorn

V 4 Comments
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List Stats

2,000 votes
235 listings
6 years, 287 days old

Top Remixes (10)

1. My printer won't print .gifs properly?
2. If the Big Bang really happened, why are there no pictures of it?
3. Does looking at a picture of the sun hurt your eyes?
1. What galaxy do we live in?
2. How do I spell "monkey?"
3. Can your baby get preganent if you have sex while preganent?
1. How do you ask a question on yahoo answers?
2. My printer won't print .gifs properly?
3. Does looking at a picture of the sun hurt your eyes?

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