Dumbest Yahoo! Answers Questions

This is what happens when every one is given a net connection... When some weirdos are out there... but even that can have some positive implications... like now, this is whole lot of fun. Some stupid, some weird and some just plain dumb... Here are some amazing (of which only 40% can spell) people with special brains that have used Yahoo! Answers to make the world aware of their presence.

The Top Ten

1 How do you ask a question on yahoo answers?

I tell you when I find how to answer these yahoo answers...

I tried to ask this question but I couldn't because I can't ask yahoo questions. So thanks for asking this question for me. Now we both have to wait until we have a good answer. Too bad it isn't the case. I mean if you don't know how to make yahoo answers just don't answer and if you think the guy asking this question is dumb, can you at least answer to prove your intelligence superiority over us. That would be very helpful.

I don't know ask again tomorrow. - 3DG20

Actually the person who asked this actually had a mental problem that which he could not remember stuff for long. So I feel bad for the person who asked this, and all the people on the question itself who answered this actually were serious. - floridiancat

V 59 Comments
2 How do I type?

All you gotta do is yell at the keyboard until it types something

It’s easy. Just smash your head into the keyboard. - 3DG20

Sweet Mother Mary McCartney, you just did to answer that boneheaded question!

Dumbass you just typed. - Jessicarabbit

V 41 Comments
3 My printer won't print .gifs properly?

Oh, dear god... Of course they're not moving! You bought the wrong ink! The proper ink is sold at Gringott's Bank.

I'm sorry but we are not in Harry Potter.

Don't forget the cargo shorts, you need to be wearing cargo shorts.

Try using water instead of ink. That way it should print smoothly and lightly enough to print it correctly.

V 25 Comments
4 Can your baby get preganent if you have sex while preganent?

Sure... Its dangerous, though the baby can get preganent only if it's a female. If you suspect your baby is preganent try not to have sex again.. You run the risk of getting your baby's baby preganentand and that can lead to complications like an infinite loop... (We really need to make sure people are ready to be parents... WEIRDOS)

Sex is so interesting

Yes. Your baby will be pregnant and the other sperm will impregnate your babes baby and it will be a infinite circle. you will have great great great great great grey great great great grand children in about 6 weeks

Only if you are a magic bean from Hogwarts - leah2006

V 33 Comments
5 Does looking at a picture of the sun hurt your eyes?

Yes, pictures of the sun radiate harmful like just like the sun itself. put one in your rrom on a dark night for light

If you want it too, then go to a photo editor, and go to brightness, and set it to maximum. Now print it, and go outside to look at it - SpectralOwl

Yes, if it is enchanted by a wizard or witch at Hogwarts with a spell that makes things ridiculsly bright and shiny. If it is, expect to find glowing radars shining out of the screen and glowing. - leah2006

Sure if you look at it close enough. - funnyuser

V 22 Comments
6 Is this a question?

Is this an answer

I don't know is mayonnaise a question? - 3DG20

No. It's a holographic time lapse of the rainbow-unicorn wormhole effect on Justin Timberlake.

Yes! What else would it be? (I just asked a question) - cosmo

V 30 Comments
7 Help! I cannot take off my mother's bra and she's gonna be home in 5 minutes!!! The mirror doesn't help much!?

What the hell are you doing with your mother's bra?

If that's a boy that's hilarious.

Imagine if the mom's SON said this.

Um yeah sounds like a personal problem - The_gEEK_GamEr9

V 41 Comments
8 Is it okay to shove pizza up my butt for revenge on my mom?

No. You have to shove it up her butt.

Only on the weekends

As long as you slap her with it after. - 3DG20

Yes. Enjoy farting out pepperoni.

V 16 Comments
9 Is this planet called Earth? I'm confused.

Are you an alien?

I think the only living being that would ask a question as stupid and counterintuitive as this would be an alien. If you are not an alien and you inquire what our planet is called, you quite possibly have serious mental issues and need to have your IQ tested. I can feel mine dropping right now just reading this question. - RockFashionista

No, it’s called Uranus. - 3DG20

You just answered the question dummy!

V 34 Comments
10 If the Big Bang really happened, why are there no pictures of it?

Scientists were to busy posting selfies

The Big Bang was very camera shy. Scientists could not get it to stand still.

The big bang had to happen but the cameraman forgot to take off the lens - SpectralOwl

This was very entertaining.

V 30 Comments

The Contenders

11 I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. how do i get my car back?

I tried to contact this guy but it seems he also sold his computer to help pay for internet connection...

Hmm... Tried calling him, but it sees he sold his phone to pay for phone bills and doesn't have a landline...

I think the second one is worse because the first one is due to ignorance and this one is due to lack of common sense.

If you sold the car, there is no point of getting gasoline

V 23 Comments
12 HOW DO YOU TURN OFF CAPS LOCK?

I'll answer that question when you stop shouting at me. - swagmaster97

WHAT ARE YOU talking abouT? SORRY FOR THIs because my CAPS lOck keeP GETTING Stuck and there's NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT it!

Arrow, that point down on your keyboard

The same way you turned it on dummy

V 25 Comments
13 I was bitten by a totrtoise when i was a lad...can i eat orange now?

You kids where do you come with such stuff... Rather GOD where do you find such nuts

No, orange kills you after that tortoise infection.

No. It's a well known fact that tortoises have chlorophosphific acid in their saliva, a compound, that for unknown reasons reacts violently with orange juice. So unless you want your body to spontaneously combust, it is strongly recommended that you stay away from any orange products. - monney30P

Find out by eating a orange now. Or hire a servant that was bitten by a tortoise to try eating oranges. Or else ask Harry Potter or Hermione Granger to do a spell on you so that you can eat oranges without any worry. - leah2006

V 14 Comments
14 8=====D is this a shovel or crying smiley face? So confused?

It could be... But it could be a lot of other things too...

Neither. It's a UFO zooming off.

It must be a shovel because you can't cry while smiling. Or you would eat your tears. People cry before they smile.

Nope for my logic of deez nuts that's a penis - CerealGuy

V 31 Comments
15 Why am I here?

Well...when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much. THEY ADOPT. - swagmaster97

Because daddy forgot to get condoms one night. - 3DG20

Cause you magically appeared 7 million hours ago.

Because I am a legend

V 16 Comments
16 What galaxy do we live in?

The Mario Galaxy. (Jk that was not funny at all...) - 3DG20

We live in the solar system - SpectralOwl

Earth, of course.

Homo sapien center. - BlueberryCatfish

17 Who is best Justin Bieber or Jesus Christ?

One of Justin Bieber's fans said he has more swag than Jesus Christ.

Jesus He died for all humans and got the human race be able to reconcile to God the Father.

Jesus saved us. This is incomparable. Oh, wait. Let's make a list of reasons why Jesus is better than Justin Bieber!

Wait, it isn't obvious? Dang

V 43 Comments
18 How do I spell "monkey?"

I thin you spell it "munkee"

It is munky

My knee wont grow is that a problem?

Its spelled Monkey

V 17 Comments
19 Do you lose your virginity if you fall?

Did you fall onto a vagina. repeatedly?

Not if you fall onto a penis or onto a vagina or butthole no - gunginos

Only applies if you have a serious floor fetish - SpectralOwl

Damn, I really did wonder this is when I was a kid... I might've even had stumbled upon the original question on yahoo...

Short answer; no. - keycha1n

V 11 Comments
20 Why are the holes in cats fur always in the right places for there eyes?

What has this world come to...

There are no holes! Those are balls. Are if there was holes, the cats were shy and were too scared of showing the spots to anybody so they put their eyes in it so nobody will notice their holes - leah2006

This is really stoopid but still

Usually, if not try to get him to take it off and put it on the other way round

V 7 Comments
21 Is justin bieber the 5th beatle?

A loss of some faith on humanity right on the spot. - zam67

Why would he be.

Yes, he's the backup singer for Ringo. - swagmaster97

This question is insulting to the Beatles. - Minecraftcrazy530

V 31 Comments
22 Am I a human?

No, you're a majestic unicorn who farts rainbows - kaitlynrad11

No. Your a person who doesn't know if you are a human or not.

No you are a secret unicorn that pukes sparkles and rainbows that also farts magical gnomes. - Magenta_Flame

No, your Miley Cyrus.

V 28 Comments
23 Is justin beiber's movie only going to play one day? The preview only said it was going to play on Febuary 11th so im curious...

Justin beiber's fans are so dumb... Laugh out loud

I'm laughing way too hard. Who asks these types of questions? What has this world even come to? I really hope that question was a prank!

Curiosity killed the cat.

Well there's a Justin Beiber fan for ya'.

V 6 Comments
24 Are the twin towers in New Zealand?

Why are you asking? Oh. I bet you just forgot all about 9/11.

Yes, my brother was a kamikaze I was supposed to go with him but I overslept, everyone got mad at me but in 2017 I'll crash into the new tower but yes it's in New Zealand, but no worries no one cares anymore it's been 15 years.

Naw...Osama moved the twin tower to Afghanistan - CerealGuy

Twin towers where in my moms stomach before we were born

V 7 Comments
25 Can a dog get pregnant from sperm from a human because when I wasn't home my boyfriend got horny and had sex with my dog and i think shes pregnant... is that possible?

Seriously... Okay that's just Sick! No your dog can NOT get pregnant. They don't share the same DNA, but I would get your boyfriend check. Something is honestly wrong with him... Poor Dog :/

Yes its possible. I've had sex with many dogs... also cats unicorns Miley Cyrus 3 elephants and an oak tree

I have the same problem

You'll have to get some Plan B and a pregnancy test, and maybe a new boyfriend. - keycha1n

V 19 Comments
26 Are people on the Internet real?

I'm the only real one all of these other guys are fake - Ziffe

I don't know. Are you real? If you are then you're question is answered.

My question is are you real? - tmobreno

No, we're all fake.

V 10 Comments
27 Are aliens real?

I honestly hope so.

Hey! I'm Bill Cipher! Wanna learn about the MULTIVERSE?

Yes. They will invade Earth in 2080 but will be completely harmless because they are allergic to water.

Yeah they are and we just caught one its you

V 5 Comments
28 My mouse stop working every time i lift it up from the table why is this? this is not just OS .i have linux and vista both same thing so its not drivers

Maybe it fell asleep. - 3DG20

Could it be the operator?

Just kill the mouse, It's family won't get revenge on you, helpless mouses. - funnyuser

God you people are stupid! Mouses are only on this world to eat cheese! Not control a computer!

V 8 Comments
29 How to become a greatest walrus?

I know the solution to your problem. I had this same problem as you a few years ago. It is simple really, all you have to do is follow a few steps: Make sure you have some towels nearby, as this might get a little messy. First, stick a pencil inside a strawberry and throw it at a wall. Then, take a lemon and put it on your forehead for 3 hours without moving. At this point you should start noticing some tusks forming. After that, you are going to want to grab one of your towels and wrap it around a squirrel with some whipped cream inside of it. Then, take a toaster and put your hand inside of it. Don't start it, because you could seriously hurt yourself, and we don't want that. Now, grab a rusty nail and step on it. Don't scream, you will have to start over. And we don't want that. We all want you to be "a greatest walrus". Don't worry, you will become a full walrus by next week. Have fun!

How is this a dumb question? This is a great question!

I think John Lennon asked this question. - MontyPython

I've never had so much confidence in the human race in my entire life

V 14 Comments
30 If you bring a box of donuts to the police station, will the police like you?

In mesa Arizona that would make you the chief of police

That's how you get a 'get out of jail free' card in Monopoly. - swagmaster97

This is funny... But so true

Only if you bring them coffee with it

V 13 Comments
31 Can a girl and a guy be best friends?

No, but a guy and a teddy bear can be best friends. - 3DG20

Yes - RoseCandyMusic

Only if they guy gets friendzoned - Yatagarasu

No they have to be BFF4L and to do that they need to surf on Pizza-Shaped Pieces of wood and then do a barrel roll. But fairy dust under your pillow tonight while putting a fork on your nighttand (any kind) then put any meat (or tofu as an alternitive, you can also use honey with chedder cheeze in it if you don't have meat or your a vegetarian) then slap a wall with a glove and say: BFF4L BFF4L be my BFF4L. I hope were friends by sunrise" 21-30 times (the more you say it ((even over 30,)) the more of a possability it'll work, and if it dose, youll be BBBFFF4LLL! I wish you the bet of luck ^-^

V 1 Comment
32 Is America a country?

Nope. America is my city (get it? )!

The answer is yes and no. There is a country called america and there are two continents called North America and South America. Coincidentally, the country called america is in the continent called North America.

No, the United States of America is a country though - Orlemley

America is a city on the planet America.

V 17 Comments
33 Help I Accidentally Built a Shelf?

Oh my gosh I can just imagine this scenario.

Guy is on the internet, blacks out and wakes up with a hammer in his hand and a shelf.

LMFAO.

This one is legend now

Really man? That wood could've built a birdhouse and you waste it on a shelf? Damn your accidents. - Puga

I wonder if this guy can 'Accidentally' Get me a girlfriend - SpectralOwl

V 25 Comments
34 Do midgets have night vision?

Yes, they are all secret agents like those from mission impossible and are super ninjas because they are small; therefore they come with built in night vision.

Yeah, they are small so they need some kind of gear vision. They stole our glasses and cat's eyes and used them, so now they have to run away from humans and cats. But yeah, they have night vision - leah2006

Who ever asked the question is in deep kimchi and I will beat them with some kimchi

Yeah I'm going to watch you sleep at night

V 4 Comments
35 Can you catch aids from sex with a chicken? a mate told me he'd dun it. nd he is well scared. wot do i tell 'im?

Ah, the classic "for a friend" advice solicitation. This poster may as well have picked the username "ChickenF*****2009. "

And the best part? The "Best Answer" voted by the Dips***erati does not include any variation of "don't f*** chickens, " but rather, "tell your friend to use protection when having intercourse with birds. "

Unfortunately, the follow-up query, "what kind of protection? " appears to be missing -- I haven't really read the fine print on condom wrappers for a while, but I don't seem to recall any particular brand being "beak-resistant. " (It's clearly an untapped market for a budding entrepreneur, though. )

Right, it was totally your friend who screwed a chicken. I believe you.

Oh yes, I've had sex with many chickens... Also, horses, balloons, Harry Potter, pillowcases and a lamp. Your mate is in for a big shock!

weird alien noises music play in the background - floridiancat

V 4 Comments
36 Why did the Beatles copy Justin Bieber?

Please don't be the person to kill my faith in humanity.

Same reason Justin Bieber copies Jacob Sartorius. - 3DG20

It's the reverse you idiots... And Justin couldn't even try to match the greatness of John, Paul, George, and Ringo. - Pony

The Beatles were before Justin Bieber ya dumbass!

V 15 Comments
37 Do universes exist in other galaxies?

Galaxies are inside Universes!

Yes, there are many universes in the thousands of other galaxies!

Well, actually, atoms are mini universes so yes - Yatagarasu

Yes. There are universes in other galaxies. - cosmo

V 4 Comments
38 Are my masturbation habits bad?

I love the guy's description of his habits:
"I have around 15-20 orgasms a day. Sometimes I reach into the 30's. I do it a lot, but I really don't know how to stop. "
First off, 15 to 20 times a day shouldn't be humanly possible. You'd have to cut out some other major component of your life to have the time. Like eating. Or breathing. And maybe he will lose his precious before he hits 15 But for me, truly, this question rises into the pantheon when a female offers up the very first response:
"wow that's a lot I only have like 2 or 3"

Might have a heart attack from to much stimulation. But just a bit wont hurt, infarct, its works as a cardio workout - BlueberryCatfish

Careful now. If you masturbate too much you'll get a big red penis blister - bobbythebrony

Yes, it wears you work harder, it has become an addiction, and a blister will appear.

V 3 Comments
39 Is there a spell to become a mermaid that actually works?

I saw this quite a long time ago, seeing this question as of now still makes me violently burst out laughter. - illusion

Yes, you go in the ocean go underwater and say I'm a pretty, pretty mermaid and say it how many times you need to. - funnyuser

Yes. See that cliff over there? All you have to do is fall off!

Say. I want to really be a mermaid to in front of your goldfish. Or get a MASSIVE fish, cut off the bottom, cut your legs off, and put the bottom fish part of you (this is sad). - floridiancat

V 14 Comments
40 If Little Johnny has three apples, and he eats one, how much does the Sun weigh?

See this is how I picture math

20 ounces ever since Little Johnny broke the sun with his apple eating abilities.

Every math problem ever

A turtle is traveling at the speed of sound, he eats a banana, what movie did Fred watch on Netflix last night?

V 19 Comments
41 Does it rain in Australia?

I don't know, mate, look it up. - kcianciulli

Everything is upside down in Australia, so it rains from the ground. - swagmaster97

Never. - 3DG20

Have you even heard of our floods?!

V 5 Comments
42 Do you believe in goats?

No, I do not believe in goats... If you were to pay attention to school (this piece of information is told in kindergarden), teacher's would tell you that goats were only in fairy tails. Many people try to prove the existence of goats, but fail... So no, I don't believe in goats...

Are you talking about Baphomet?

No but I believe in unicorns that poop out rainbows

No but I believe in dragons. - 3DG20

V 30 Comments
43 What's Yahoo! Answers?

Something you're on right now - BabyMarz

People tell you ansewers

44 If muslims ever were to infest and take over Italy, will they dynamite all of the priceless arts, Michalangel?

There are so many things wrong with this question. First off, not very Muslim is a terrorist. Secondly, why would a terrorist blow up famous artwork-the message wouldn't make sense. Also, the artist you're looking for is named Michelangelo.

Is it wrong that I laughed at this while I am a Muslim?

Infest? Don't they mean invade.

Nope they are not capable to ruin art which means ISIS will get murdered by art - CerealGuy

V 4 Comments
45 Is there any possible way of making 2+2=5?

You can do whatever your heart desires.

You just did it.

Yes. You can get it wrong.

To make 2 times to 5, you need to use advanced theorismexmathimatics. The answer: everybody knows 2+2 usually makes 4. 4-1=3. A triangle has 3 sides. Since there are 2 twos you add 3+2. The answer of course, is 5!

V 15 Comments
46 Is it Yahoo Answers or Yahoo Answers?

The answer is 42. - 3DG20

I understand what this question means. It's not stupid just random. It means like, is it just called 'Yahoo Answers' because it contains answers or is it called 'Yahoo Answers' as in yahoo answers your question. Do you understand

It is Yahoo Answers.

You have to solve the equation first yahoo answers-yahoo answers equals 0 to the power of 6 so the answer is yahoo questions

V 15 Comments
47 My 17 year old son doesn't know how to tie his shoes is there something wrong with him?

Or tell time on a clock

Yeah, it runs through the family. - 3DG20

Age is but a number, except in this case.

Something's wrong with this guy

V 19 Comments
48 My sister can't sing properly does that make her retarded?

Thank you for making my day complete! I now have laughed so hard that my ribs are in pain, I feel that I have lowered my I.Q. for responding to your question, but yes your sister is retarted, and you have down syndrome for not being able to fix her! And your mom is an alien because she gave birth to you both!

Hopefully not because then that makes me retarded. - 3DG20

Does this give you the conclusion that Justin Bieber is retarded?

No it does not make her retarded

V 14 Comments
49 How can someone be stupid?

Uh do stupid probably - andrewteel

You are the perfect example

You see, you are a perfect example, just do what you are doing.

Look in a mirror, the answer is staring at you in the face.

V 8 Comments
50 Should I tell my parents that I'm adopted?

Then they'll answer: Where'd you find this out?
And you'll respond: My parents told me! - SpectralOwl

Did you adopt your parents?

What you kept it a secret?...your parents are going to be mad if they get to know this

If you are sure 100 % adopted.. How did you know if someone didn't tell you were actually adopted? Dumbass

V 10 Comments
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List Stats

2,000 votes
235 listings
7 years, 84 days old

Top Remixes (11)

1. My printer won't print .gifs properly?
2. If the Big Bang really happened, why are there no pictures of it?
3. Does looking at a picture of the sun hurt your eyes?
Cazaam
1. What galaxy do we live in?
2. How do I spell "monkey?"
3. Can your baby get preganent if you have sex while preganent?
IcetailofWishClan
1. How do you ask a question on yahoo answers?
2. My printer won't print .gifs properly?
3. Does looking at a picture of the sun hurt your eyes?
Mumbizz01

WRemix
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