Top Ten Eminem Lyrics to Not Say at a Funeral
Some good, some bad, all inappropriate for a funeralThe Top Ten
1 It feels so fackin' good
I've heard this Eminem guy memorized the dictionary.
2 So long, Bitch you did me so wrong, I don't wanna go on living in the world without you
3 Imma kill you and them loud a** motherf****** barking dogs
4 Shove a gerbil in your a** through a tube
Haha it's funny 'cause you wouldn't wanna say this anywhere in front of anyone.
5 Bleed Bitch bleed!
6 I'm C******!
7 My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips, and if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
8 You make my pee pee go a-doing doing doing
9 Hi kids, do you like violence? Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids?
10 There's a four year old boy lyin' dead with a slit throat in your living room, ha-ha!
Ugh. That’s just sick. This was actually censored in the explicit version, just because of the graphic depiction of toddler murder. No joke.
The Contenders
11 One day I was walking by with a walkman on when I caught a guy giving me an awkward eye so I strangled him off in a parking lot with his Karl Kani
12 We ain't nothing but mammals.. Well, some of us cannibals who cut other people open like cantaloupes (SLURP)
13 Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all dangling from his neck, while his head barely hangs on. Blood, guts, guns, cuts, knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts
14 I stand seven kids from columbine stand them all in line
Especially during a candlelight vigil for kids who died in a school shooting
15 My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
From the song Criminal
16 Maybe true,'til I told this bitch in gym class. That she was too fat to swim laps, she need a Slim Fast
17 And Dr. Dre said... nothing, you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
This is especially bad to say at Dr. Dre's funeral.
18 Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's t**s off and smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
19 You and your husband have a fight one of you tries to grab a knife and during the struggle he accidentally gets his Adam's apple sliced
20 And while this is goin' on his son just woke up and he just walks in, she panics and he gets his throat cut
21 So now they both dead and you slash your own throat so now it's a double homicide and suicide with no note
22 Sit down, bitch! If you move again I'll beat the s*** out of you
23 Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to, I just found out my mom does more dope than I do, I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper, Make a record about doing drugs and name it after her
24 And by the way when you see my dad? Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had
25 Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records; Well I do, so f*** him and f*** you too!
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