Top Ten Extreme Ways to Get Rid of Household Pests

And this is why my interest as an exterminator should be swiftly removed from my head.

The Top Ten

1 Drop a piano on them

Sounds like something I would do. Or even better, feed them to the piano in Super Mario 64. - Zach808

What could be more pleasing than hearing the sound of a bone snap while multiple notes play at once when squashing a rat or mouse dead? It'd make for a great Broadway song. - Swellow

2 Set them on fire

Hmm, kids already do that with magnifying glasses. - Not_A_Weeaboo

3 Place cyanide inside a food tin and leave it out in the open

Stops ants clean in their tracks. Make sure you label it correctly, so that you can recognize when someone's about to eat it and then dramatically swoop over in slow motion and knock the tin out of the poor sod's hands, all while screaming "No" at the top of your lungs. - BlarchBlaces

4 Gather them around and tell them amazing facts they didn't know, to the point of blowing their minds clean open
5 Place them in a miniature gladiator arena and have them fight to the death
6 Drug them
7 Sweep them off the sink onto the floor, then stamp on them

The mess to clean up afterwards would make me shudder. - Entranced98

8 Tell them you don't care about them and leave them to die from a broken heart

I tried this on the termites in my house, didn't work - TwilightKitsune

Can confirm, works 100% of the time. - cjWriter1997

They could find antidepressants though - Martinglez

I am way too tired for writing lists. - BlarchBlaces

9 Demolish the house, with them still in it
10 Buy a gun and launch an assault on your kitchen

NOTE - This may land you under arrest if the police are around. The creator of the list cannot be held responsibility. - Swellow

The Contenders

11 Crucifixion

Lol - Neonco31

12 Drown them in acid

Lol! Extreme and effective.. - Ananya

13 Freeze them
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