Top Ten Extreme Ways to Get Rid of Household Pests

And this is why my interest as an exterminator should be swiftly removed from my head.

The Top Ten

1 Drop a piano on them

2 Set them on fire

3 Place cyanide inside a food tin and leave it out in the open

Stops ants clean in their tracks. Make sure you label it correctly, so that you can recognize when someone's about to eat it and then dramatically swoop over in slow motion and knock the tin out of the poor sod's hands, all while screaming "No" at the top of your lungs.

4 Gather them around and tell them amazing facts they didn't know, to the point of blowing their minds clean open

5 Place them in a miniature gladiator arena and have them fight to the death

6 Drug them

7 Sweep them off the sink onto the floor, then stamp on them

The mess to clean up afterwards would make me shudder.

8 Demolish the house, with them still in it

9 Tell them you don't care about them and leave them to die from a broken heart

I tried this on the termites in my house, didn't work

They could find antidepressants though

I am way too tired for writing lists.

Can confirm, works 100% of the time.

10 Buy a gun and launch an assault on your kitchen

The Contenders

11 Drown them in acid

Lol! Extreme and effective..

12 Crucifixion

13 Freeze them

14 Electrocute them

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