Top Ten Extreme Ways to Get Rid of Household Pests

BlarchBlaces
And this is why my interest as an exterminator should be swiftly removed from my head.

The Top Ten

1 Drop a piano on them

Sounds like something I would do. Or even better, feed them to the piano in Super Mario 64. - Zach808

What could be more pleasing than hearing the sound of a bone snap while multiple notes play at once when squashing a rat or mouse dead? It'd make for a great Broadway song. - Swellow

What if they run out of the way first? - Lucretia

2 Set them on fire
3 Place cyanide inside a food tin and leave it out in the open

Stops ants clean in their tracks. Make sure you label it correctly, so that you can recognize when someone's about to eat it and then dramatically swoop over in slow motion and knock the tin out of the poor sod's hands, all while screaming "No" at the top of your lungs. - BlarchBlaces

I want to make it with anti matter ants rather - Lucretia

4 Gather them around and tell them amazing facts they didn't know, to the point of blowing their minds clean open

"The universe will face a heat death in 20 to 40 billion years, where no energy and work can exist! " "The sjn will turn into a red giant scorching the earth in the change and the sun will no longer have enogh heat to support... hey rats... ew! " - Lucretia

5 Place them in a miniature gladiator arena and have them fight to the death

Don't have an idea on how well that will work. - Lucretia

6 Drug them

That's a waste of drugs. - Lucretia

7 Sweep them off the sink onto the floor, then stamp on them

The mess to clean up afterwards would make me shudder. - Entranced98

8 Demolish the house, with them still in it

Make some anti matter mice, which will blow the mice up and possibly demolish the house and if your infestation is big enough the huge explosion could demolish the earth as well! - Lucretia

9 Tell them you don't care about them and leave them to die from a broken heart

I tried this on the termites in my house, didn't work - TwilightKitsune

I am way too tired for writing lists. - BlarchBlaces

Can confirm, works 100% of the time. - cjWriter1997

Stomp on the with I don't love you writen on your shoe, just might work. - Lucretia

V 1 Comment
10 Buy a gun and launch an assault on your kitchen

NOTE - This may land you under arrest if the police are around. The creator of the list cannot be held responsibility. - Swellow

Depends on what it is. Rats, sure. Termites are to small to waste the good bullets on. - Lucretia

The Contenders

11 Crucifixion

Would be sort of fun though, who does not want to crucify a mouse? - Lucretia

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