Top Ten Most Fabulous 1st Prizes in a Church Raffle

The talk of the village church fete. Hearts beating quickly, pulses racing, shakey hands. The wait! The anticipation to see who will get any of these top church raffle prizes!
"And the lucky number is...!" *cue drum roll..*

The Top Ten

1 2 hours' sneak listen in on the vicar's next sermon

This made me laugh. Hilarious lol.

2 £1 off annual subscription of Church Weekly

3 25 pence off admission fee to the next local jumble sale

4 False beard

Kindly donated by Mrs Symthe's husband who unfortunately died of an unknown skin infection.

5 Vouchers for another church raffle

6 A free 4 hours' tour of the church

What is it, the Sistine Chapel? Down yonder in Pinenut Holler, they can pitch the big tent for a travelin' salvation show in less time than it takes young Luther "Hamhock" Hancock to down one of Miss Maisie's jumbo pork 'n' tater pies. After that, ain't much t'see.

7 Stuffed toy

8 A look in the visitors' book dating back to the Medieval period!

9 A cupcake

10 Donated underwear

Some perverts would be happy...

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