Top Ten Fake TV Survival Experts

Real Survival experts can show you many ways to survive in harsh conditions. This list is of the Fakes found in the current T.V. survival genre.

I doubt that anyone of them has ever taken a backpack and headed out into the world with no money in their pockets and no means of support.

Anyone can be a wilderness survival "Expert" if you have a T.V. production company paying for it and setting it up for you.
The Top Ten
1 Joe Teti

Guy was food service contractor overseas for a couple months, decided he was a war hero. Then he came home and drove past the woods, saw some trees through the window and decided he was a survival expert. This guy is a nothing but funny to watch - gets really nervous when put to the test. Skins dead animals for no apparent reason, drinks urine when he has a Gatorade in his pack. Likes to play with snakes for no reason one can see. I am pretty sure the Discovery Channel put him on the air as a dark spoof to real survival shows. I am waiting for his stand up comedy act, the guy is funny to watch -- but not a survivalist.

I am not a survivalist by definition but watching this guy just makes me mad. Even someone who has spent very little time in the woods has more common sense. I haven't watched the show much at all since they got rid of Dave. I heard they fired Cody (which was stupid) so checked it out once curious about Matt who I didn't know. It was the episode in Vietnam I believe. Joe gets all pissy about glasses or something to use to start a fire with getting lost and decides to jump back down into a deep water and cave system to look for it. Are you kidding me. Even I have enough sense to see what a bad decision that was. Wasting time and energy better used for actual survival. Then he gets mad because Matt refused to kill a poisonous snake because he wanted to eat it. To me that is just taking to big of a risk. Each time Matt proved to him he was capable by starting a fire and supplying him with food a little later in the show. I think Matt far exceeds Joe but have stopped watching the show completely because of Joe.

2 Bear Grylls Edward Michael Grylls, better known as Bear Grylls, is a British adventurer, writer and television presenter. He is widely known for his television series Man vs. Wild, originally titled Born Survivor: Bear Grylls for the United Kingdom release.

Bear is a great guy and a true adventurer rather than survivalist (as many on the list). It is also important to note that military survival training is primarily focused on surviving hostile people. Many on your list have that as a main component of their resume. Although it is more training than any of you couch potatoes reading this will ever get, it does little more than familiarize the trainee with wilderness survival techniques.

If you are ever in a real survival situation and want to die a horrible, agonizing death, follow Bear Grylls advice. He will teach you 100 ways to injure, infect, maim, cripple, and just plain murder yourself.

Everything about this guy is fake. Starting with his name and ending with his advice. And that includes his supposed SAS experience. Total BS.

It's clear he knows enough about surviving in harsh conditions. That being said in my opinion making people think that survival in a serious situation entails jumping off of cliffs and climbing rock faces with shifty vines is just ridiculous. It's entertainment, not practical at all.

3 Matt Graham

Matt is better than most on T.V., and must be one of the best survival experts I have ever had the pleasure of watching. Shame on anyone that put him on this list. He deserves a gold metal for putting up with Joe and keeping his cool over all Joe's little girl fits. This guy is the real deal, packed to the brim with knowledge and raw skills, can't beat him I hope he's on T.V. again soon so I can keep watching and learning. Perhaps the Matt and Cody survival show? Please?

I have never read or heard any information about joe teti. I did see him on a couple of episodes of dual with matt. Teti displayed absolutely no wilderness skill or savvy. This goretex clad want to be he man seems to be stuck in some make believe world of "missions", guns, and false bravado. If it wasnt for luck, a great amount of ass kissing, and sucking up joe teti would be just another unemployed military contractor / veteran.

4 Cody Lundin

Shorts and no shoes in extreme cold is just plain stupid come on. There's a lot of other environments that warrant pants and footwear for smart and effective travel. He also showed a lot of moments where he was not a teamplayer having his partner frequently pick up the slack. His knowledge outside the desert is minimal. Props to his traditional fire making skill though.

I think he is practical and down to earth from what I have seen for the most part. I don't really think walking around barefoot in the snow is the best idea but to each their own. I definitely respect the fact that he can start a fire almost anywhere. Even though I don't agree with this guys methods doesn't mean they don't work.

Come on - this guy is the best of the best - calm, in control, full knowledge of the environment and human physiology - who put this guy on this list? That is insane

5 Tom Brown Jr.

I read his books and they read like bull adolescent boy fantasies. If there was a Stalking Wolf I am sure it was more a case of some itinerant bum who was camping outside of town and Tom and Rick (if there ever was a Rick, he sounds more like an imaginary friend) came across his camp and the made smores or something. The boy(s) probably brought the bun, uh, I mean Child, uh I mean Stalking Wolf some some food from home and BoinkingBoys, uh that is Stalking Wolf probably by now realized what a lonely little loser Young Chicken, I mean Tom Brown was and decided to teach the boy all about Indian wrestling, by that I mean they rolled around for while shirtless and then he sodomized the boy. He probably was getting Tom to smoke his peace pipe repeatedly and hammering his totem pole into Tom's wampum beads. So while this stinky sweaty homeless guy from Indiana was pumping away on top of Tom, young Tom probably entered an altered state of consciousness where this homeless gay pedophile from Indiana became an Indian who was showing him special secrets, by that I mean his cock.

Tom Brown Jr is a fraud. You would have to be mentally retarded to believe his B.S.

6 Creek Stewart

Just watched him teach guys to ration water in the desert. The best place to carry water is in your body. Ask real survival experts and ask medical professionals. The more dehydrated you get the less efficient you are both in your actions and in your bodily functions. Anyone that teaches water rationing is an expert at surviving a few hours, not weeks or months.

He's an idiot. Watched his warning about wild rose hips, which this 69 year old lady has gathered for years to make tea. No rash. No sneezing. No itching. What a windbag. He sounded like he was making it up as he went along. Ridiculous!

He's an Eagle scout. What other qualifications does he have? none. Military experience? Nope. A self proclaimed survival "expert." What situations has he actually survived? Living in Indiana? okay, I'll give you that. But basically he's a douchebag that is full of himself.

7 Payge McMahon

Never heard of her...

8 Dave Canterbury

Stolen valor, liar, thief. Never had an original idea in his life. Half his 10 piece kit is taken from Moss Kochanski, the other half is Ron Hood. Stole the Bush pot from Don Kavelius from 4 dog stove company sent it to China and had it made in stainless steel. Copied the Mora bushcraft black and calls it the scorpion. Had a deal with another knife company and stole the design from LT Wright knives and for caught. Copies work from the pioneers of woodcraft, Nessmuk, kephart, and many others rewords it claims it's his. Stole ideas from his good instructors that woke up and left never credited them. Its all his image. That lead instructor Jamie Burleigh is a fat arrogant ass that follows him around like the so dog he is. 100% fake

Haha Dave Canterbury, what a liar. His youtube videos are rip offs of other channel's content, his books are reprints of early 20th century writings, guilty of stolen valor, and his school is another rip off of other schools. If he is such an expert why was he fired from Discovery channel and featured in the National Enquirer? You have to be a real douche bag to claim these milestones. What a joke!

9 Mykel Hawke Mykel Hawke is a retired U.S. Army Special Forces officer, author, and television and film personality.

Apparently I hit a nerve. It needs to be said Mykel. YOU and only you are responsible for the safety of YOUR family. As a former commander of men you know full well the responsibility lies with you and you ONLY. Stop blaming others for your bad and risky choices. The buck stops with you. No one made you and Ruth go on these risky endeavors. What would have happened if your chopper or plane went down getting to and from those locations? Who would you have blamed then? You're as money hungry as all the others. Putting yourselves in risky situations for money is not admirable no matter how you try to sugar coat it or point blame elsewhere. Say what you will about Teti, I care not. What I cannot stomach is your inability to recognize your own short comings but you're damn good at saying how evil others are. Your record is impressive, there is not doubt about that but you've blackened your reputation by what you are doing now. Like I wrote below, because of what you are doing and how you are going about it. You are absolutely NO better than the man you are crucifying.

I understand hatred Mykel. It consumes you. I've been where you R. I was so consumed with hatred for my abusive father as a teenager I am surprised we both made it out alive. I didn't hurt him because I knew it was wrong and how it would affect my family. The fire within me was so powerful to destroy him it was almost overwhelming but I didn't do it. I helped put him in prison when I was 24, I am now 51, he died at the age of 73. I got a phone call one night, it was my mother. She told me that he was asking for forgiveness from his death bed. I did not give it to him. That was my revenge. Was it the right thing to do? I'll have to wait and see I guess.

Why do I tell you this? Because I care. Even now. Don't let your hatred burn you alive Mykel.

Wow, I am afraid to post this. Here goes nothing.

10 Les Stroud Les Stroud is a Canadian survival expert, filmmaker and musician best known as the creator, writer, producer, director, cameraman and host of the television series Survivorman.

I've had the privilege to meet the man on a survival course last year and he is by far the most true to life survivalist with integrity for honest and raw survival scenarios captured for television. His show has helped countless people from as young children to older professionals survive situation by what he teaches and his philosophy. He is not alone. I believe there are others that represent survival as well as he does. However Les Stroud should NOT be on this list.

Fake and very obvious to anyone with even a modicum of bushcraft experience. He drinks dirty water, can't build shelters, tries to start fires with a gun (in the first episode! ).. the list goes on. A fan even proved an episode was completely faked when he went out to the location himself in Utah. Don't take Les Stroud's advice unless you want to get hurt. He does things for drama and fools buy into it. See Ray Mears for a real bushcraft expert and see the massive difference in approach and lessons taught.

The Contenders
11 Ray Mears Raymond Paul Mears is a British woodsman, instructor, businessman, author and TV presenter. His TV appearances cover bushcraft and survival techniques.

Very informative, shows and explains techniques in great detail. Like learning from a supportive older uncle. None of this showman "I'm so Extreme and an alpha male surviver" bull like the American idiot survival types you see on these 'reailty' survival shows... no trying to go for the shock factor like Mr bear grylls watch me drink my own piss either. Just simple, interesting and informative shows

For overall survival knowledge, don't think too many can get near Ray mears.
Not a risk taker, but that's a plus in a survival situation.
Certainly would trust him to safely protect my family in any situation.

Ray actually has spent a lifetime learning the skills he demonstrates. There is nothing fake about him.
Unlike many others he does not pretend to be ex-special forces, also he is not an extreme rightwing survivalist nutter.

12 Terry Schappert

This #1 slot is about TERRY SCHAPPERT not Mykel hawke. It seems to have morphed into a MH hate club.

Anyway, Terry DOES belong on this list as a fake survival expert. I had the misfortune of working with terry on the series dude your screwed in season 1. I tried to like terry but found him to be a very immature, self centered, conceited ego maniac with Absolutely NO wilderness skills or qualifications in the outdoors. He was simply hired for his big mouth and the "cool" factor of having an SF guy on the show. He is very skilled at making other people look bad so he looks better, and terry is probably the best guy I have ever seen at sucking up. He is SF qualified but that does not make him a survival expert. He has a long way to go before he can even be called a novice in the outdoors.

Tom Moore

Mykel Hawke put Terry on this page. Honestly, he's a nice guy, why would you do that to him? Is winning so important to you Y'all that you have to sink to this level? Shame on you! Scroll down the page and vote for MYKEL HAWKE biggest phony fake survivalist of all time! Mel R.

13 Hazen Audel

After 37 years in the British Royal Marines, 30 of those years as a mountain and cold weather instructor, teaching surviving and movement skills to commandos and special forces in arctic Norway, why am I still surprised to see complete idiots who fleece the audience with completely impractical and unrealistic 'survival advice' on T.V...I have just witnessed, accidentally, this idiot (Hazen Auden) imparting his acquired knowledge / macho ridiculessness as if he knows what he is actually talking about, what a farce. This guy and his show should come with a health warning. Yes, his ideas are not exactly untrue, but his application and relevance to each situation is wrong...and 999 / 1000 would simply not work, you'd be dead before any of his simplistic and apparently easy survival actions would bear any practical benefit...

Completely bogus 'survivor' show. His Lapland episode was a joke. I am from Finland and can say with certainty that his survival in the cold was staged all the way through. NO ONE living in the nordic would ever go out in the winter without a beanie and a scarf and waterproof wintershoes. Actually we would travel in the snow with skis or snowshoes or stick to beaten path. This guy would not survive in winter Lapland with his own advise. I am also amused by the "a lynx hunt this deer and left the carcass so I will eat it before it comes back". A lynx would not do that in the winter, as lynx don't eat frozen carcasses because they have weak jaws for that, in fact it would eat the whole deer fresh after kill and leave only scraps behind. Unbelievable crap show.

14 Ruth Hawke

I am a huge fan of yours Ruth which is why I am writing you. With all the Controversy your husband is stirring up... Are you not concerned with your image because you both are linked together? I'm worried for you and I don't know you. I hope his disturbing comments I keep seeing won't affect your future in entertainment. You seem like such a nice woman to have to put up with such nonsense from his online embarrassment. I hope you get another show at some point beyond this ridiculousness.

Who are these women he keeps corresponding with? They are saying all time they get their info straight from him. If I was I. Your position I wouldn't let my husband embarrass the family first off. And most definitely I wouldn't let him email other women much ess tokerate them bragging about corresponding with my husband online.

Ruth Hawke has no business on this list. She has skills dating back before even meeting her husband. A true back country survival guru. Calm presence, even demeanor.

15 Ron Hood

Ron Hood was one of the first to make survival videos for the public on VHS. he is old school and did it on his own without national geographic or discovery channel. survival has become fashion statement and selling point for celebrities. Ron was in it before it was really even popular so watch him and see if you do not learn anything!

Ron Hood was a FAKE from the word go! Not only in survival, but the military as well.

Ron had some long forgotten stolen valor issues several years ago also.

16 Bill McConnell

Bill McConnell is NO idiot. He is as top a survival expert as Matt Graham, and he single handedly carried the weight for both he and Grady, taking care of Grady on multiple occasions, saving Grady's life, taking care of Grady when he was sick and finding food for both of them during their short-lived dual survival episodes together. I learned a lot merely watching him on the show. He is a very sincere and decent man and I think he and Matt Graham would be the IDEAL dual survivor team but the producers at Discovery simply have no spine and allow the bully minority of public opinion, like the idiot who comments here, that Bill is an idiot -(he's far from one), to decide for the rest of us what we get to watch. Bill is great guy, a rare, decent human being who took care of Grady in a phenomenal fashion all the while Grady was constantly griping and taking Bill for granted.

17 Eddie Ashcraft
18 EJ 'Skullcrusher' Snyder

Although being a tank feet EJ is a fraud. I Myself have been with him in the wild and therefore I found out that he had a jeep full of food water and dead animals.

19 Jeff Martin
20 Richard Proenneke

I could watch his movie a million times. I wish it was longer and offered more detail.

The best ever

21 Ed Stafford

Seems the real deal

22 Blayne Ray
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