The Top Ten Family Guy Quotes

The best one liners from the most irreverant show on network television. Only because it is animated do the writers get away with all the stuff they do.

The Contenders: Page 3

41 Come on, let's go drink until we can't feel feelings anymore. - Peter Griffin

I couldn't stop laughing when I heard this

42 Baba Booey! Baba Booey! Howard Stern's penis! - Peter Griffin

Oh my god peter has nevr been that immature has he? Who'd he say it to anyway

43 You can't be ugly and play hard to get, it doesn't work that way. You're already hard to want! - Peter Griffin

My day just went from alright to fantastic, how he comes up with this stuff

This is by far the best quote could have used this line so many times

This one is true


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44 Hello there, Kyle. You like nice today. I see you're wearing your big shorts with the baggy leg holes that flutter so carelessly in the breeze. Would like to come in for a glass of wine and a cupcake? - Herbert
45 Shut up, Meg - Peter Griffin

This was one of the best family guy moments ever, when peter goes feral and meg "saves" him

46 Been working on that novel huh? Been working on that for three years now right? Gonna, gonna get that done? You know that novel, that novel you where making where friends become enemies and enemies become friends. You gonna get that done right? -Stewie

This was suppose to be number one.. I love this, and the face stewie makes when he says it.. Haha

Most definitely one of my favorite episodes ever!

47 Cut my milk! - Stewie Griffin

Pure humor and idiotic behavior by Stewie. He's smarter than that, but that's what makes him so darn funny.

48 Those freakin elves man, they came outta the trees, they just came outta the trees man - Snap to Pop and Crackle after they got jumped by the Keebler gang
49 Hey there, you like popscicles? I got a whole cellar full of popscicles. - Herbert the Pervert

Should be number one comes up in every family guy conversation I've ever had

Say this all the time should be higher up... Along with saying stroke stroke stroke

Funniest Family Guy quote ever. Makes me laugh whenever I hear it and hear Hebert's lisp

50 Nothing says Obey Me like a bloody head on a fence post! - Stewie Griffin

Sound's like somthing id say

This is funny no matter what show it's from - Game of Thrones even!

51 I didn't have gas for the first time until I was 30. [farts] What the hell was that? - Peter Griffin
52 Bill Cosby: Stewie, what do you think candy is made out of? Stewie Griffin: Sunshine and farts! What the hell kind of question is that?!

Funniest thing I've ever heard!!! - Jeheffiner

53 And boom goes the dynamite! - Cleveland
54 I'm not a dog you fat bastard! - Meg
55 When I stick this army guy with the sharp bayonette up my nose, it tickles my brain. Hah hah hah ... ow. Oh, now I don't know math. - Chris Griffin

I did that once and I forgot math too.

56 I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall quick and painless. -Stewie Griffin

This one has bee on t-shirts and more. This should have been one of the top 10!

57 (Peter & Brian In the middle of a conversation) Oh my god! You can talk! - Peter

I love this one I recorded and evn rrpeated it

58 I spit in your mouth when you sleep! - Stewie Griffin


59 Now that you can't see, let's do a little vision test. What is this? A poopie or a Toblerone? - Stewie Griffin after he breaks Meg Griffin's glasses

ha!!! i couldn't stop laughing!!! - pishposh11

60 It's peanut butter jelly time! - Brain

Brain? Who's this in Family Guy?

Why is this one so low

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213 listings
12 years, 76 days old

Top Remixes (11)

1. The life of the wife is ended by the knife. - Stewie Griffin
2. Her fists are so dangerous she's not allowed to be a lesbian. - Brian Griffin
3. Eh, you're overreacting Lois and you can't spell overreacting without ovary... 'cause you're a girl. - Peter
1. Giggity giggity giggity - Quagmire
2. Because you touch yourself at night - Museum tour guide to a child Peter Griffin after asking why the dinosaurs died
3. No Quagmire, we're not esupposed to! - Peter
1. You'd better watch who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A Pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna be lectured by a pervert. - Peter Griffin
2. Mum mum mum mum mummy mummy mummy mummy Lois........ Hi- Stewie
3. Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah... Lois, this is not my Batman glass. - Peter Griffin

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