The Top Ten Family Guy Quotes

The Contenders: Page 4

61 I say mother, this hotdog has been on my plate for a full minute and it hasn't cut itself. - Stewie Griffin
62 Hey, I f***** your dad. - Brian Griffin

This is the best scene ever, Brian slept with Quagmire's dad after he had a sex change. Quagmire then beats up Brian and tells him to lie on the floor and die. Brian then comes to the door says the line and slams the door.

Best scene of all time in the show!

63 Who the hell do you think you are!? - Stewie Griffin

Should be first it's an amazing quote haha I love stewie he's got to be my favourite character by far

64 F*** You That's Who! - Stewie

I love Stewie everything he says is pure gold. This is one of his best ever. That when he calls Lois a million times just to say hi. Family Guy is the best.

65 Cool Whip! - Stewie

Come on this is a classic... One of the best! Laugh out loud

Coo whip is so funny with him it could be someone dieing and then mentioning coo whip and I would die laughing

I love this one so much. Cool whip

V 1 Comment
66 Whoa, ass ahoy! - Brian
67 Juggle the beanbags Cloris!!! GOD HELP YOU juggle the BEANBAGS!!!!! - Peter after legally owning Cloris Leachman
68 I'm so hungry I could ride a horse. - Chris Griffin

Everyone expected him to say.. so hungry I could "EAT" a horse. Seth is just making a joke to show you how stupid Chris really is. He does this kind of stuff all the time. You much not be an avid watcher.

What Does that mean when Chris says I'm so hungry I could ride a horse?

Chris was just confused on the saying.
Afterward he says he doesn't know how that would help, but figures he could possibly ride it to the store.

69 Now I may be an idiot, but there's one thing I am not sir, and that sir, is an idiot. - Peter Griffin V 1 Comment
70 You Doctor Yet? - Asian Father
71 I had such a crush on her. Until I met you Lois. You're my silver medal. - Peter
72 Hellooooooooo - Smiley Mcgee

I say this a lot - theOpinionatedOne

73 Hahaha, oh crap I pooped my pants - Peter after hearing a funny joke Quagmire told him.
74 Got my teacup here, now all I need is a teabag. That something that interests you my friend? - Stewie

Couldn't belive it stewie is one in a million I love him really wish he was real

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75 Hold the pickles! God help you if I find pickles!!! - Stewie to the flight attendant
76 Uh...boy, this is more awkward than having sex with a rhinoceros who doesn't love you anymore. - Peter Griffen

Peter says this after Dr. Hartman calls him fat. I laughed for ages after I saw this.

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77 And we're gonna put a happy little bush right down over here, in the corner there, and that'll just be our little secret. And if you tell anyone that that bush is there, I will come to your house and I will cut you! - Bob Ross

I've been watching or listening to that ridiculous Bob Ross show for eons (it puts me to sleep). This was so perfect because I always thought of that guy as a serial killer beneath that calm exterior.

V 2 Comments
78 Well excuse me for being retarded. My whole world is turned upside-down. Black is east, up is white - Peter Griffin

You yes have my shirt!

79 Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill? Brian: That's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible. Peter: Wrong, the ugly one! V 1 Comment
80 I'm not taking my sneakers off.... I am Sneakers O'Toole. - Sneakers O'Toole

I thought that was utterly stupid and highlighted how far the writers were stretching for material.

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213 listings
12 years, 6 days old

Top Remixes (11)

1. The life of the wife is ended by the knife. - Stewie Griffin
2. Her fists are so dangerous she's not allowed to be a lesbian. - Brian Griffin
3. Eh, you're overreacting Lois and you can't spell overreacting without ovary... 'cause you're a girl. - Peter
1. Giggity giggity giggity - Quagmire
2. Because you touch yourself at night - Museum tour guide to a child Peter Griffin after asking why the dinosaurs died
3. No Quagmire, we're not esupposed to! - Peter
1. You'd better watch who you're calling a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A Pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna be lectured by a pervert. - Peter Griffin
2. Mum mum mum mum mummy mummy mummy mummy Lois........ Hi- Stewie
3. Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah... Lois, this is not my Batman glass. - Peter Griffin

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