Angry Outlaw #52 Skynet... Skynet in disguise!
His the meanest outlaw in all of america, he does not hold on anything or anyone, he'd rather stick it up there's and go screw a limp wang, then talk about the dreaded terror of furious strength in full power of rage there is stopping the angry outlaw, he is the angry! angry! Outlaw!You know what two meshings can we do today? (Looks around) Transformers, and Terminator both are considered sci fi in their own unique however both have become grossingly oversaturated, and to also celebrate the Terminator side of things with the 6th installment well like at each of the most notoriously bad games in the stack I got.
The Transformers Mystery of Convoy: Can you believe that the Wii had this game on its virtual console of choice? Yeah stunned I saw something like this so vintage yet its sounds so… generic of mediocrity with a title like that Mystery of Convoy reminds me of that awful Star Wars fighting game with a similar long title. During the popularity of the G1 series of the 3rd season is what this Japanese game centers around Magnus (an autobot I can’t say I recall very well) is the main character you play as in this run and gun platformer. As you progress let’s say you die eventually you end up going all the way back with no checkpoints which sucks making the game harder to beat. You have a 8-bit looped theme that will be going and going endlessly might as well be playing that Jet Set Radio Future sound where I sit to just ‘’EEEEEEE!’’ Transforming from vehicle to autobot is a bit pointless seeing it ends up leading to a death for your autobot. Oh yeah after finally beating the game you get a simple ‘’congratulations.’’ no special ending this game is a waste of time, but its the worst Transformers game ever made. This did not do the cartoon any justice.
Beast Wars Transformers: Skip over a decade later into the 5th generation for another great Transformers cartoon in Beast Wars, but unlike G1 that had at best one horrific game this one had a pair of them on the PlayStation. What I find fascinating is that is was made by Takara the makers of a PlayStation One classic in Battle Arena Toshinden so how did this become a widely failed game exactly than? I like the intro cutscene that looks vastly like from that show too bad its very choppy, and slow I gotta say that’s not a good sign. Unlike picking between Autobots and Decepticons instead its either Maximals or Predacons well same idea, but based on the shows own original plot in a different spin. You get a little background and objective to each character you use. This game however is nothing cutting edge of that once you get into the gameplay. Really ugly looking graphics for that time in the very prime years of the PlayStation 1. The jumping mechanic feels delayed, and thus timing the jumps the further you get becomes a frustrating chore to master. Laughable to muffled voice acting just nothing good about this game I didn’t bother completing the game I just felt like it was just that mundane to even bother with.
Beast Wars Transmetals: Next we have Transmetal they unnamed sequel to the awful game with the same premise name. Only the cutscenes, and story look a little better here than it did in the last one. Get to the game, and you choose between four fighters by default. Right away the CPU just attacks like a vulture with no hesitation i’m not kidding he will come right after you if you don’t pause the game not knowing what to press. This game luckily gives you a switch if you feel the transformer you picked is not all that that’s very generous, but still not enough for me to feel knowing the struggle this fighting game has on any gamer. Speaking the background they use reminds me of something like Wargods where once you jump the graphical background stays up as well kinda weird to see it found here for something that might be a somewhat creative clone of ‘‘those types’’ of games. At least what I like about is how it has these power level like abilities once you zoom into the fighter kinda like Dragon Ball Z with the powering up. Its a little bit more fun, but still an equally hard game.
Transformers The Game: For awhile the Transformers games were mostly either average or mediocre at best until the live action films took place, and in doing so comes video game tie ins. While there are many others to follow this i’m sticking to this one since its the one I experienced briefly back in 2007, and I had on the PlayStation 3 which looks the best of all the versions. Gameplay is mostly in 3rd person with the robot you play as each objective given on both sides. It also feels like Grand Theft Auto in a way where you can just mess around the place take down opposing deceptions or autobots if you wanted to. Only difference no busted just simply wasted and exterminated is what it should say once your down for the count. You have different attack styles, one is light or heavy weapons of use. A normal melee attack, throwing objects and or using them like a mighty sword. The destruction part of the game feels fair, but I just found, and just got old real fast.
(Transformation of the a... Transminator reboots up in a basement storage 191091091019019101901910910191091019019109101901910910910190191091019101909900)
Alright with Transformers outta the way let’s get to the Terminator franchise. Each film has one simple theme a Terminator that must be destroyed. Arnold Schwarzenegger was the original antagonist, but in the sequel they turned him more of a protector in favor of future antagonists of Robert Patrick (the best of them all), Kristanna Loken, and Jason Clarke. That’s the plot really is these terminators want to alter a timeline whether it's Kyle Reese or Sarah Connor they’ll do anything to exterminate them. Will these Terminators need to be exterminated.
Terminators 1 (NES) and Judgement Day on SNES: Appropriately enough we dive into the first two films (and the best ones might I add). The 8 bit game based on the first film is pretty repetitive jumping platformer with looping music equals a not very fun Terminator game and this set the tone for bad games to come in the franchise. Once you progress though the game you get this awful vehicle chase with slippery controls to stay clear of the road. The ending isn’t much special either… ‘‘congratulations you have saved sarah connor, and terminated the t-101 good work soldier!’’ Notice a theme with mostly lame or weak endings here yeah I fought so too.
The sequel got a crap ton of games, and the worst one is from the 16 bit Super Nintendo and oh look LJN (oh no). You begin at the bar and from the rest there on out is absolute insanity. For a side scrolling shooter this pulls no punches other than one problem. You have Arnold looking like his Hank Hill. You move so slow to get to your destination in some of these early levels. In the vehicle stages you go weirdly fast its so inconsistent there’s no stability substance found in this game. Eventually you do get to fight the T-1000 along with other random terminators and finally we see Sarah Connor, and Kyle Reese join you to shoot him to his death. Yet you must make sure his death for good in lava. A very horrid looking pixelated 16 bit ending with a lame quote at the end of it all. Many consider this to be the worst terminator game perhaps, but I think there are some others that could rival it like our next game.
The Terminator Dawn Of Fate: This is not based on any Terminator films, and is considered its own prequel. Cutscene is long cool at first, but a little too long for a 20 minute showing it felt like. Game begins you play as Kyle Reese in 3rd person, and you have 10 levels to complete in the game i’ll admit this game confused me when I played, and I still have this issue where the camera is so awful it makes the game almost incredibly unplayable. Other characters prominently in this or John Connor (leds this resistance), John Perry (who was mentioned in the first terminator), and Catherine Luna (Who I have no background other than she was made only for this game). These four main protagonists carry out a mission while turncoats Alex Stone, and Gabriel Stone (who they fought to be dead). Now that the backstory has been laid out let’s retrace back to the actual game aspect. This angle is so terrible that when I go to a direct attack of generic skynet robots I better hope it hits them otherwise there gonna take me down real quick. This gets more difficult especially in missions 8-10 get ungodly hard. Their some boss fight along the way itself from machines, to a reasonably tough Terminator. I also don’t like how the game ends where the bad guys end up escaping, and really just no end result other than Kyle Reese is transported to the human world like the actual films would suggest. I really tried to give it some credit the music is actually decently good, but this like if I gave Sonic 06’ a pass with bad gameplay I can’t do that here. Dawn of Fate to me is up there with some of the worst games I have played where normally you can get by with such a horrendous camera angle here you can’t escape that mechanics other than to embrace that suckage all the way through.
The Terminator 3 Rise Of The Machines: The final garbage game Terminator had was based on the 3rd installment with a female terminator. It is a 1st person shooter combat hybrid game sounds a bit much already. To be honest I like the first person perspective that’s solid, but get to the fight with T-X, and its just very awkward in which you face I think 3 or 4 times. Unnecessary lock on, it feels very rushed probably came out before the film itself perhaps thus why it failed like its counterpart by not living to the epic Judgement Day film.
They maybe 80’s classic, but please don’t even bother with these games just don’t (Transminator behind him choking him, Arnold Schwarzenegger though comes to the aid of his protector trying to kill him)
Schwarzenegger: Run!
(Activates a self destruct timer, and after 5 minutes the two exploded with the house in major bits)
His sacrifice may have been worth it, but what’s been lost must be rebuild… of skynet.
(c):
Grace & Glory by Hideki Naganuma