Top Ten Fictional Reasons to Get a Divorce

Britgirl
Of course, these are all fictional. I'd be extremely surprised if any of these were actually legitimate grounds for D.I.V.O.R.C.E...

The Top Ten

1 When we married, I felt like the best man. Unfortunately, so did she...
2 He only ever loved me for my tongue. We have the cleanest kitchen floor in our town

I'm not surprised after what I caught him doing on it. Ha! - Britgirl

Here's a fresh bottle of Listerine, sweetie. That bathroom floor is really nasty.

3 He was selfish. He always made sure he came first in our relationship....

And here's me thinking it was a woman's prerogative to...arrive...late. - Britgirl

A gentleman should always arrive late, particularly if he's interested in being invited back for the next soirée.

Oh, it's her prerogative, Beege. For us appendages, it's a "damn well better if ya know what's good for ya."
Nature, Beege. She's a...a... Ah, hell. Not steppin' in it again. Not for a while, anyway:))

4 I caught him making love on the bathroom floor with the girl next door. He said "It wasn't me."

If you're a man, you logically aren't the girl next door, and thus, the girl very clearly wasn't him. Can't argue with that. - PositronWildhawk

Was she actually next door when wifey caught him doing this in their bathroom? If so, the Guinness folks need to be contacted, post haste. Any buckaroo can rope a dogie from that far needs to be in the books.

Well, yes you CAN argue with that. Your "logic" is flawed, Mr. Spock. In your scenario, he is arguing that he was not fooling around with himself.

5 She kept throwing big words at me. I wouldn't mind so much if they weren't still in the hardback dictionary
6 He wears my bra and knickers. I wouldn't mind but they're always mismatched!
7 I wanted her to change. I didn't mean into a man!

When we said "I do,"
Her butt was like a bubble.
But now it's covered
With five-o'clock stubble.

8 She finished off my Sudoku puzzle in the paper
9 He only ever plays "Africa" by Toto

I was told to stop referencing this over and over once. But that's nothing that a hundred men or more would ever do. - PositronWildhawk

10 He took me for a ride - in a Skoda

I'd appreciate a ride in any car, so long as it wasn't in the boot. - PositronWildhawk

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Top Remixes

1. When we married, I felt like the best man. Unfortunately, so did she...
2. He only ever loved me for my tongue. We have the cleanest kitchen floor in our town
3. He was selfish. He always made sure he came first in our relationship....
Britgirl

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