Top Ten Fictional Reasons Why You Shouldn't Mess With Lizardking99

The items in this list have been selected by the author of the list for you to vote and comment on.
The Top Ten
1 I graduated at the top of my class in the Navy Seals

You made a copypasta into a top ten list...congratulations

2 I have over 300 confirmed kills

If that's on Call of Duty, then get out of your attic.

I bet it's because of camping.

3 I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda

I have been involved with all the ground battles of the Soviet Union in our fight against Nazi Germany.

Oh yeah? I single handedly took down entire Coulmbian gang and their drug lord. It wasn't simple like terrorists.

4 I am trained in guerilla warfare

Stealth and brute force are great.

And I'm trained in Soviet Union.

5 I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces

I thought u said fictional?

6 I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth

I can wipe you out by cutting your stomach and your intestines by machete. And there's even more brutal way.

7 As we speak I'm contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now

My gang are stalking you 'cause they want you to "do" something to them.

And I am contacting my secret network of spies connected to the KGB!

But you can't trace mine. I'm anonymous!

Shoot. But I have a torture method. It's worse than Justin Bieber songs. *puts the Sham-Wow commercials on a 24 hour loop*

8 I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over 700 ways, and that's just with my bare hands

I can kill people in thousands of different ways. trust me I wrote a book on it and it has three sequels

What is the first way to kill a person?

9 Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the US Marine Corps

I also broke into US army base to steal some military grade weapons, alone.