WonkeyDude98's Formal Rage: Worth It

WonkeyDude98
Might as well. VelitelCabal, my predecessor, has done it. Swellow, my successor, has done it. Why shouldn't I?

Now, if you know me at all, you know that I have an astoundingly fixated hatred for Jason DeRülo that has unfortunately gone stale and is now unfun for me. But I digress. Arguably his (very loosely used) best song was Talk Dirty. Lyrically and vocally it was completely awful, and I'm not willing to review it because well VelitelCabal has already. But that beat thoooooooooooo. Talk Dirty falls under the polarization of "best beat of the year, worst lyrics of the year".

That brings us to our egregious white noise we have on the table today. Fifth Harmony, despite having had a few decent songs, are nobodies. They are sleeper stars that first got popular because of X Factor. That sentence is all you need to know about how talented this gals are. We also have Kid Ink, a generic nobody rapper who first got popular in 2014 only because he worked with DJ Mustard and Chris Brown. Believe me, Show Me was less of a song than a showcase of the incompetence of everyone involved.

And as I said, this is horrifically awful, boring garbage. Remember when I said I liked the beat to Jason DeRülo's Talk Dirty? Well I must have not, because the song straight up rips off the sax riff (to be exact, it's only two notes shorter every repetition and has the repetitivity of the hook to accompany it) and I HATE EVERY SECOND OF IT!!!!!!!!!

It's not like the lyrics or performance are half-decent to compensate for the near plagiarism (pictures of Silento's Watch Me and Jidenna's Classic Man show up) G-G-G-G-G-G-G-YAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!!!! What's with all the plagiarism lately?! Anyway. back to the song. Fifth Harmony are uncharismatic and never harmonize, can't sing to save their lives, act like spoiled divas, and have no structure or coherence between each singer. Kid Ink is such a non-presence it's actually hard to tell he's even on this. He also asks why 5H are acting shy when the lights are off in the club. How dense is this guy? Not being shy is the point!

I can't even....I can't...this is just incorrect. This gets a 0/5 no question for the uncharismatic, bitter, vain, and skin-crawling lyrics and presentation, and the plagiarized beat. This is WonkeyDude98, signing out, because this song isn't worth spitting another word about.

Comments

The irony of them being called Fifth Harmony and not harmonizing once is astounding. - Martinglez

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