Top Ten Best Food Jokes

Kiteretsunu

The Top Ten

1 A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup! "
2 And what's your name? " the secretary asked the next new boy. "Butter. " "I hope your first name's not Roland," smirked the secretary. "No, ma'am. It's Brendan. "
3 Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread. Doctor: You've got to stop loafing around.
4 Girl: Did you like that cake, Mrs Jones? Mrs Jones: Yes, very much. Girl: That's funny. My mom said you didn't have any taste.

I guess you can make this joke about any food. And I will. You bet I will. Awesome stuff, K. - PositronWildhawk

5 Heard on a radio station. What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom? "He's a real fun guy [fungi]. "
6 I went to see my doctor to see if he could help me give up smoking. What did he say? He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should reach for a bar of chocolate. Did that do any good? No - I can't get the chocolate to light.
7 Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat? Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals! Mother: Why did you say that, Junior? Why did you ask the question? Johnny: It's because I saw one on daddy's lettuce, but now it's gone.

My mother did most unfortunately find one in a burger once. It put her off them. - PositronWildhawk

8 Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now there's only one. Why? Fred: I don't know. It must have been so dark I didn't see the other one.
9 Patient: Doctor, you've gotta help me. I eat apples, apples later come out into the toilet. I eat bananas, bananas come out. "Doctor: That's easy. Eat poop!"
10 Q. What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating?A. Finding half a worm.

The Contenders

11 Why do French people eat snails? Because they don't like fast food!
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List Stats

11 listings
4 years, 257 days old

Top Remixes

1. A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup! "
2. And what's your name? " the secretary asked the next new boy. "Butter. " "I hope your first name's not Roland," smirked the secretary. "No, ma'am. It's Brendan. "
3. Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread. Doctor: You've got to stop loafing around.
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