Top Ten Frankie Boyle Quotes

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The Top Ten

1 "What's wrong, Captain Picard?" "WHAT'S WRONG?! I'M A SERIOUS SHAKESPEAREAN ACTOR AND I'M TALKING TO THE AMBASSADOR OF THE F****** WORM PEOPLE!"
2 When Barack Obama was giving his speech after being elected as president, he had to do it behind three inch thick bullet-proof glass. I thought that was a bit harsh – just because he’s black doesn’t mean he’s going to shoot anyone.

Ouch! That's a really harsh racist joke/quote. Brilliant list! - Kiteretsunu

3 Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.
4 I would have loved to have a gay dad. Do you remember at school, there were always kids saying “My dad’s bigger than your dad, my dad will batter your dad!” “So what? My dad will shag your dad. And your dad will enjoy it.”
5 Stephen Hawking: Brainier than Kurt Cobain’s garage wall.
6 Gordon Brown says he wants kids to stay at school until they’re 18. That’s just not going to work in the modern world is it? Who’s going to pick their kids up from primary school?
7 Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn’t really think it was a problem!
8 I gave my girlfriend something she didn’t expect for Valentine’s day…Chlamydia.
9 Sex education at my school was just a warning about the janitor.
10 Have you noticed that Britain's Got Talent contestant Susan Boyle looks like Mrs Doubtfire played by Gordon Brown?

The Contenders

11 Does anyone think that Camilla is what Princess Diana would look like if she survived the crash?

Only Frankie Boyle could get away with saying this AND get the audience laughing. I can't help thinking what the responce would be if Joe Public said it. - Britgirl

12 Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot but look at him now! An Alcoholic Racist!
13 Spot didn't know the purpose of the sack with a brick, only that this would be the greatest trip to the canal ever!
14 If Harry Potter’s so magical, why can’t he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldn't need a broomstick to cling onto.
15 LIDL’s own brand shampoo…Because you’re worthless.
16 I've had a few medical problems this year, I'm now so old, that my p**** is haunted.
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List Stats

16 listings
4 years, 121 days old

Top Remixes

1. "What's wrong, Captain Picard?" "WHAT'S WRONG?! I'M A SERIOUS SHAKESPEAREAN ACTOR AND I'M TALKING TO THE AMBASSADOR OF THE F****** WORM PEOPLE!"
2. When Barack Obama was giving his speech after being elected as president, he had to do it behind three inch thick bullet-proof glass. I thought that was a bit harsh – just because he’s black doesn’t mean he’s going to shoot anyone.
3. Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.
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