Funniest American Dad Quotes

TheStupidHobo

The Top Ten

1 If you're going to do that do it where everyone else in this house does it. Steve's bed. - Francine Smith (After finding Jeff masturbating in the bathroom)
2 AHHH! Oh, It's just the baby. It's just the already dead baby. - Stan Smith
3 By the way, Hayley, oh my god, these Chocidiles, these Chocidiles Hayley, oh my god, these Chocidiles, oh my god! - Roger
4 You're fat Helen! - Roger
5 Help! The raccoons stole my penis! - Hayley Smith
6 Hayley! The neighborhood! What are you two doing here? - Stan Smith
7 God, please watch over the dead body of this dog and carry him to heaven... because he sure as hell can't walk... he's dead.Amen. - Stan Smith
8 Boil water. What am I, a chemist? - Stan Smith
9 Where's my BJ? I want someone to give me a BJ......My Breakfast Juice - Stan Smith
10 I hope your friends don't just eat p***y! -Steve Smith

The Contenders

11 Hayley, how would you like a punch in the face? - Stan Smith
12 I'm German. It's what we do. - Klaus
13 The only goo you will be having will be goooood time. It was a stretch but I made it work kids. didn't I? - Stan
14 Can we have one breakfast without somebody flashing their bodies - Hayley
15 Is this as big as they're gonna get! - Hayley

Hayley going through puberty.

16 Don't hurt me! I know it's cliche but I mean you no harm - Roger

Just imagine Roger saying this with his homosexual alien voice.

17 Hayley, you heartless bitch. I'm kidding. - Stan Smith
18 I hate Steve so much! - Roger
19 It's obvious what you have to do, Steve. You have to kill yourself. - Roger
20 MYAAAAAAAAH! - Roger
21 Unless Stan wants a bigger hole than the one in his butt! - Klaus
22 Klaus you know I don't like that l language, now put a quarter in the penis jar.- Francine Smith
23 I'm already down! - Steve Smith
24 Die Dream Stealer! - Roger
25 This time it was toast, Hayley. This time. - Stan Smith
26 I've been a bit consumed with one of my other patients. Hes a complicated teenage drug addict who's being molested... by me - Roger Smith
27 No! No! No! No! Don't ruin my booby holiday with god stuff! - Roger
28 There's something you should know about me by now, Roger. I don't learn lessons. - Stan Smith
29 Godzillaaaaa!!!!!!!!! - Toshi
30 Guns defend people against people with smaller guns. - Stan Smith
31 Pen gun, mightier than the sword. Sword gun, mightier than the pen gun. - Stan Smith
32 She can do me. Then you can do her. Then I can do her while you watch - Hayley
33 Steven Anita! - Stan
34 I was receiving an award for, oh what was it dear, ECONOMICS??!! - Roger Smith
35 What do you mean, every month! - h]Hayley

It is very hard to be a woman.

36 Music slut! - Stan Smith
37 No, Mr. Pibb earns his paycheck. He's the type of soda I'd have a beer with. - Stan Smith
38 I took a detour on Hayley - Avery Bullock
39 His legs are shorter than his feet - Stan Smith
40 The Boob Strikes Again - Roger
41 He took all the syrup - stan

If I were in Stan's situation and that happened to me what Jeff had done, I'd be pissed off as well.

42 AKA Baby Legs - Roger
43 Your Mother! - Steve
44 Trip-trip-trippity. Dem ol' Trippin' Balls. - Roger

Best and funniest line from cartoon history

Should be in the top ten best ever

Should be at 3 at LEAST

Trip trip trippity dem ol' trippin balls

45 I'm sorry Francine, but Steve's just so bad at moving his body. - Stan Smith
46 Trump: (clears his bullfrog-like throat) stan: I'm not gonna pay you, trump.
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Related Lists

Top Ten Funniest Moments in American Dad! Funniest American Dad Characters Best American Dad Characters Best American Dad Episodes Top 10 Roger Personas In American Dad

List Stats

46 listings
7 years, 131 days old

Top Remixes (5)

1. I hope your friends don't just eat p***y! -Steve Smith
2. You're fat Helen! - Roger
3. Where's my BJ? I want someone to give me a BJ......My Breakfast Juice - Stan Smith
spotted59joker
1. If you're going to do that do it where everyone else in this house does it. Steve's bed. - Francine Smith (After finding Jeff masturbating in the bathroom)
2. The only goo you will be having will be goooood time. It was a stretch but I made it work kids. didn't I? - Stan
3. Can we have one breakfast without somebody flashing their bodies - Hayley
Kurtis34
1. If you're going to do that do it where everyone else in this house does it. Steve's bed. - Francine Smith (After finding Jeff masturbating in the bathroom)
2. Help! The raccoons stole my penis! - Hayley Smith
3. By the way, Hayley, oh my god, these Chocidiles, these Chocidiles Hayley, oh my god, these Chocidiles, oh my god! - Roger
RockStarr

WRemix
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