Top Ten Funniest Asian JokesToptenPizza This isn't meant to be offensive to any Asian TopTenners or visitors.
The Top Ten
No matter how many times I hear this joke, I think about the past decade on the road...the only bad drivers I've encountered are primarily white people lol there was people of ALL races, but mostly whites...they think they own the damn road and break road rules a lot
American eyes are wide open shouldn't they be watching it instead of heading off to McDonald's?
Should never talk about other people's race because that's not eyes and Americans are bad drivers toV 26 Comments
God is Good, and he never gets bored!
You shouldn't use God as a joke and/or an insult.
Asian or not, I still find that joke offensive.
That is not true. Everyone is different, I'm Asian and yes, everyone in my school is different.V 19 Comments
I would love to have my homework done, saying this as I am procrastinating doing my homework. - Pegasister12
I was really hoping for this to happen to me.
Well at least he had the courtesy to upgrade your computer and do your homework, and since he's still in the driveway you can arrest him. - ToptenPizza
This is so funny!V 18 Comments
Sketchman: so what did he look like?
Me: well...long black hair, very white skin, tall, young looking, black eyes...
Sketch man: *draws* time to line up the suspects!
*every women in China old enough to commit a crime is in the building*
Sketch man: so who is it?
Me: oh god,they ALL look the same! - ToptenPizza
Actually Chinese look quite different from each other. We just don't put on make up - MChkflaguard_Yt
More like South Korea because of all the plastic surgery there, but this is still funny.
Haha I'm Asian and that's hilarious
Finally someone who is not offended! (Asians are awesome by the way) - SenpaiNoticeMeV 7 Comments
Excuse me, we throw chopsticks. - keycha1n
I feel bad but I burst out in laughter! You are extremely creative and original! - Flowersocks2137
I don't think I'm supposed to laugh at this but I couldn't hold it back. I'm Asian and that was amazing
No they drop a spoon ching bang chongV 9 Comments
They probably got a B+
Asians may be smart, but why do they mock us by doing math with their eyes closed? - ToptenPizza
The grade must be a 99 or below on a math test
What if they say it because there is no extra credit on the test? All Asian parents don't settle for a 100V 12 Comments
This is so funny
I like turtells shells
Now that's hilarious - BorisRuleV 15 Comments
Ching chong! we love lil pump
Everyone can speak English cause it ain't a challenge...English is a simple, brainless language, even whites ask me how to spell and write for them...one language and they can't even handle that HAHA! Hmm, I just realized that I've never been asked for help with Mathematics EVER
I am American (english native speaker) and I know Chinese, but that's kind of funny because I found Chinese to be challenging yet easy at the same time. I guess most other people in America and England have difficulty with it. - SenpaiNoticeMe
How would you English feel if we said something similar?
More like the "ching chiang chong" language. LOLV 9 Comments
I've listened to everything so I know a lot about music (not everything). If you listen to a few songs that isn't a concise opinion. I hate country but I've listen to it still since I was in middle school and I know it isn't all bad. Close mindedness isn't what this world needs. Try understanding other cultures.
Some rap music is very crappy nower days.
Chinese rap is pretty bad in my opinion - styLIShT
All rap is crap! End of story! - ToptenPizzaV 15 Comments
Body Armor won't help you if you get hit by an AK or higher damage weapons. - Marine_Soldier
But whose fault is it? The white person because he gets low grades and can't check where it's made
To be fair, KIDS make these products - ToptenPizzaV 7 Comments
I shared this with my friend.
So every time we walk by an Asian person at the mall we have to hold in our laughs.
;-; Suggestion : mExIcAn JoKeS
Asians love their own kind.
Hmmm... doesn't this makes sense? - BorisRule
Yep. I get it!V 8 Comments
More like MAD in China!
Why do some people think Chinese is the only thing that's asian?!
With Filipinos as maids?
Sounds like a Filipino ad. - Fandom_LoverV 2 Comments
This is why people think something made in China is of low quality. Look at paper, it easily gets torn apart. And it was made in China.
Chinese people actually didn't event paper. Egyptians did 1000 years earlier than those people. And ice cream is invented in Europe and no one knows who invented the wheel.
Let's hope the teacher isn't Asian, or he'd get in HUGE trouble, lol. - ToptenPizza
Jokes on you, we invented paper, wagons, ice cream, the wheel... - keycha1n
China probably did not invent those things but I know China invented many more great things. - SenpaiNoticeMeV 2 Comments
Understood after a couple seconds, this is the best one in this list (should be #1)
Well I'm Asian and this is good told it to all my Asian friends and they beater me up...
Got in guest reading...loved it
Man that's funnyV 13 Comments
I'm glad I have small boobs I wouldn't be sexually assaulted by some pathetic perv anyways - 123fortandbree
Bad, dirty classic - BorisRule
Sexist joke I hate it
That's a stupid and Perry joke! 😠V 9 Comments
That would kind of hurt their eyes.
Actually that would've gone into my eyes, so maybe a proper blind fold would be fine
My eyes are not squinty yet I'm Asian.
Hmm, at least you will not get made fun of much. Most are both slanted and squinty but I guess some are just slanted. - SenpaiNoticeMe
If that works, then they can't even see, so that is obviously wrong.V 8 Comments
I bet Donald trump would like this
Isn't he the OPPOSITE because all the countries he is affiliated with represent diversity? - TwilightKitsune
Haha! This is the funniest one! - BlueTopazIceVanilla
This is the best one on the listV 6 Comments
They're right, and maybe you should try challenging yourself?
I don't get it!
This is the funniest joke I ever heardV 7 Comments
More like Chi Chang - MChkflaguard_Yt
I'm so gonna say this to my Asian friends why? they were racist to Mexican people my friend ella she Asian she said mo my lawn to me
I like curryV 3 Comments
Apparently this white person can't make a decent racist joke
That would actually be a good name
Lol! This is one of the funniest
The actual joke is “ two Chinese couples had a black baby, what did they name it? Sum Ting WongV 2 Comments
So Kokaine Jong Un can't make bigger missiles?! - BorisRule
How do you know if they have small penises? Do you stalk every asian men amd take pictures of them because you know its bigger than yours?
I'm Asian and this is the best joke so far lmao
TrueV 1 Comment
I have big eyes. From chinese - MChkflaguard_Yt
Damn you racist people...
You can, but only if you have an electron microscope
Of course you can! You just need a very powerful microscopeV 4 Comments
That is cruel towards dogs! How dare you!
Not Asian, but this is um pretty racist, not everyone eats dogs in China.
Well cows, chickens and pigs are animals too, just like a dog. I mean Americans don't complain or think twice when they slaughter those animals to eat. It's the same in China, however, the dog population just happens to be larger so they eat dog meat instead of cow, chicken or pig. Honestly, it's narrow minded to think eating dogs are shameful because Chinese people are technically animals themselves because like I stated at the beginning, in America, it's the same, just different animals. Geez, so many people being idiots posting this crap online. Honestly, India probably thinks Americans are disgusting since cows are sacred in come on religion in India. I'm an Asian-American and I'm proud that I eat cow, chicken, and pig meat, but I'm also proud that my relatives in Asia or my ancestors have probably eaten dog meat.
Because there are more dogs than cows. If Americans complain us for eating dogs, why do you eat cows and chickens? Hypocrisy confirmed - MChkflaguard_YtV 6 Comments
Because asians have yellowish skin. Nothing wrong. But plastic surgery is wrong - MChkflaguard_Yt
If 2 Wongs get together, they'll lead a very happy life
Their is allways adoption
Yes. Crystal Method is a drug.
Probably inspired by the misspell in the news headline: "5 arrested in math lab"(they were trying to say meth lab)
Funny stuff. Crystal meth is a drug?
Sanders don't cook dogs - BorisRule
Blacks go for chicken
No. Asians go to dim sum for lunch.
Nah we go to Cha Lou and order lots of dim sum. Or eat at home - MChkflaguard_YtV 5 Comments
WRONG! Asians put durian and taro and fruit on their birthday cakes.
At least we don't add sugar and a lot of other bad stuff for you
Well nice jokes
At least rice cakes are healthierV 3 Comments
That should have hurt
That was funnh
YO that's the best one I've seen here all I see is lame ass jokes and I'm not even asian when I say that
they really are lame
but yours are pure gold man xDD
THAT really racist
More like cringe - MChkflaguard_Yt
Not funny. Just really racist.
Or maybe our youngsters are happy playing with their non-racist friends
Their second name I guess... - Ananya
Get it because he's a DOCTOR
The best of the lot and funny too! LOL YOLO
Wut is it supposed to mean
I don't get itV 1 Comment
Best one period
I have some friends who CAN do a Rubix's cube with their eyes closed. I wanna see you try!
I am Asian and the rubix's cube is easy
What about yunnanese noodles then? And tonight yam soup? - MChkflaguard_Yt
They eat da noodle, too!
Japanese, Korean, and Chinese are not the only asian countries you guys know? There's even countries in Asia that Sushi isn't popular
Actually, rice, vegetables, fruitsV 2 Comments
Now that's not funny - BorisRule
One thing I don't understand is why people of the asian race would be viewing jokes about themselves. This is really tmi but mine's bigger than the international average;4.7 " mines 5 1/2". I'm 12 but it only makes sense since I'm incredibly healthy and 5'6
Okay that's not funny
Appearantly my penis is bigger than most of my white and black friends and I'm AsianV 2 Comments
"white" not wight
Or an Asian who had a horrible sun burn
You do know that some Asians are good at driving!
What do Americans usually fail on? Diet plans
Some are really good drivers, idiots
That is goodV 1 Comment
How do you blind a white? Flash a damn white light infront of them
Actually... if you put a blind fold over us, we might not be able to see
I used to drum with chopsticks at restaurants as a kid!
I used to do that!
That was me when I was a kid lmao chopsticks for the win. Forks suck! Lol
Some jobs are actually hard to do...
Come on! Why these jokes has to sound like racial stereotypes? - BorisRule
More like racist stereotyping, and not funny at all. - MChkflaguard_Yt
Not all Americans eat McDonald's, not all Asians eat dog.
Well yep it was obvious happy racist everyone anti chineseV 5 Comments
That is very cruel!
That's insulting towards dogs!
Loolll that's true though because they eat anything (just like pigs)
Jesus, why?! - BorisRuleV 1 Comment
Uhh... I don't get it! - BorisRule
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3 years, 316 days old
2. Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident
3. How do the Chinese come up with names for their kids? They throw a tin can down the stairs.
2. Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident
3. You're friends with Asians? Did you learn any of that ching chong language?