Top Ten Funniest Asian Jokes

This isn't meant to be offensive to any Asian TopTenners or visitors.

The Top Ten

1 Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident

American eyes are wide open shouldn't they be watching it instead of heading off to McDonald's?

No matter how many times I hear this joke, I think about the past decade on the road...the only bad drivers I've encountered are primarily white people lol there was people of ALL races, but mostly whites...they think they own the damn road and break road rules a lot

Hey! Don't make fun of Asian drivers! It's not their fault they have their eyes blocking out the vision! - ToptenPizza

so harsh

V 20 Comments
2 God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.

That is not true. Everyone is different, I'm Asian and yes, everyone in my school is different.

He got bored with everyone. Explains why we have our DNA 99.9% the same, but yes, he was even bored when he got to asians.

This list would have been one of my favourites if you didn't say "this isn't meant to be offensive! " fantastic list, by the way. - gemcloben

There are many Chinese kids in my school. Or they may be Japanese. It's hard to distinguish them. - ToptenPizza

V 9 Comments
3 How do you know if a Chinaman robbed your house? A: your homework is done and your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.

I would love to have my homework done, saying this as I am procrastinating doing my homework. - Pegasister12

I was really hoping for this to happen to me.

Well at least he had the courtesy to upgrade your computer and do your homework, and since he's still in the driveway you can arrest him. - ToptenPizza

How d you know if a American robbed your house? There's McDonald's leftovers everywhere and he couldn't fit through the door

V 16 Comments
4 Hardest job in the world, police sketch artist in China

Sketchman: so what did he look like?
Me: well...long black hair, very white skin, tall, young looking, black eyes...
Sketch man: *draws* time to line up the suspects!
*every women in China old enough to commit a crime is in the building*
Sketch man: so who is it?
Me: oh god,they ALL look the same! - ToptenPizza

More like South Korea because of all the plastic surgery there, but this is still funny.

I said this one at school and an Asian girl was sitting right in front of me - M4j0r45

Bahaha that's funny

V 6 Comments
5 How do the Chinese come up with names for their kids? They throw a tin can down the stairs.

I feel bad but I burst out in laughter! You are extremely creative and original! - Flowersocks2137

I don't think I'm supposed to laugh at this but I couldn't hold it back. I'm Asian and that was amazing

Excuse me, we throw chopsticks. - keycha1n

Bing ding dong

V 9 Comments
6 You're friends with Asians? Did you learn any of that ching chong language?

Everyone can speak English cause it ain't a challenge...English is a simple, brainless language, even whites ask me how to spell and write for language and they can't even handle that HAHA! Hmm, I just realized that I've never been asked for help with Mathematics EVER

I am American (english native speaker) and I know Chinese, but that's kind of funny because I found Chinese to be challenging yet easy at the same time. I guess most other people in America and England have difficulty with it. - SenpaiNoticeMe

How would you English feel if we said something similar?

More like the "ching chiang chong" language. LOL

You bad bad man
cyber bullying is bad
p.s I'm offended

V 8 Comments
7 Don't make Asian jokes, it's wong

Asians with the Downs be like: "They call Wong. Sum Ting Wong."

Haha! Although I'm Asian, I find all of these hilarious. - Fandom_Lover

They're too funny so yes I'll keep making them

Lmao the Asian guy said "worser" that's not even a word budy, it's just worse

V 10 Comments
8 You know you're screwed when the Asian says "s***" during the test.

Asians may be smart, but why do they mock us by doing math with their eyes closed? - ToptenPizza

What if they say it because there is no extra credit on the test? All Asian parents don't settle for a 100

I'm not offended by this. I'm asian and I laughed

You're already screwed because like all white people they always get low grades.

V 8 Comments
9 If Japanese pop is Jpop, is Chinese rap Crap?

All rap is crap! End of story! - ToptenPizza

Yes it is. And it's weird. - keycha1n

Country + Rap = Crap? I don't know!

Good one

V 8 Comments
10 Wear full body armor, die in one shot. Probably made in China.

But whose fault is it? The white person because he gets low grades and can't check where it's made

To be fair, KIDS make these products - ToptenPizza

Just like china peeps they all look like the real slim shady because there eyes

V 4 Comments

The Contenders

11 Do the Chinese realize when they are buying souvenirs in America, they are buying things made in their own country?

Considering 99% of our products are made in China I think they should know that. - ToptenPizza

But this time, They get something written in English! "Made in China! " - Ihaskitty1234

They're helping their own economy?!

V 4 Comments
12 I have a new cleaning service that hires Asian cleaning ladies, it's called Maid in China.

Why do some people think Chinese is the only thing that's asian?!

V 4 Comments
13 In english grammar class, you had to write a word and its opposite. The kid wrote: good bad, black white, original China.

Chinese people actually didn't event paper. Egyptians did 1000 years earlier than those people. And ice cream is invented in Europe and no one knows who invented the wheel.

This is why people think something made in China is of low quality. Look at paper, it easily gets torn apart. And it was made in China.

Let's hope the teacher isn't Asian, or he'd get in HUGE trouble, lol. - ToptenPizza

Jokes on you, we invented paper, wagons, ice cream, the wheel... - keycha1n

China probably did not invent those things but I know China invented many more great things. - SenpaiNoticeMe

V 1 Comment
14 Apple has a new product for Chinese people, it's called the IOpener

Understood after a couple seconds, this is the best one in this list (should be #1)

Got in guest reading...loved it

Man that's funny

Great job guys

V 9 Comments
15 Why do Asian girls have small boobs? Because only A's are acceptable

Haha Lol,eventhough mostly Asian girls has small boobs they still don't care haha

V 4 Comments
16 How do you blind fold an Asian? With dental floss.

Actually that would've gone into my eyes, so maybe a proper blind fold would be fine

My eyes are not squinty yet I'm Asian.

Hmm, at least you will not get made fun of much. Most are both slanted and squinty but I guess some are just slanted. - SenpaiNoticeMe

If that works, then they can't even see, so that is obviously wrong.

You probably only need a string that is 1-atom wide and you will be fine.

V 7 Comments
17 How can you tell Mario is racist? He's an Italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, grabs coins like a Jew, and is blinded by a steering wheel so he walks everywhere.

I bet Donald trump would like this

V 6 Comments
18 My homework brings all the asian boys to the yard, and they're like "It wasn't that hard."

This is the funniest joke I ever heard

Well done! Well done!

This is hilarious!

Funny as hell

V 4 Comments
19 What rap song do Asians like the most? Rice Rice Baby

Apparently this white person can't make a decent racist joke

20 What do you call a billionaire Asian. A: CHA CHING!!!! V 5 Comments
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List StatsUpdated 19 Feb 2017

1,000 votes
43 listings
1 year, 199 days old

Top Remixes

1. God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.
2. Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident
3. How do the Chinese come up with names for their kids? They throw a tin can down the stairs.
1. God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.
2. Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident
3. You're friends with Asians? Did you learn any of that ching chong language?
1. none



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