Top Ten Funniest Asian Jokes

This isn't meant to be offensive to any Asian TopTenners or visitors.
The Top Ten
Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident

No matter how many times I hear this joke, I think about the past decade on the road...the only bad drivers I've encountered are primarily white people lol there was people of ALL races, but mostly whites...they think they own the damn road and break road rules a lot

Hey! Don't make fun of Asian drivers! It's not their fault they have their eyes blocking out the vision!

American eyes are wide open shouldn't they be watching it instead of heading off to McDonald's?

I think you're lucky if you're Asia because you're the only race other than white that Trump doesn't hate.

God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.

He got bored with everyone. Explains why we have our DNA 99.9% the same, but yes, he was even bored when he got to asians.

This list would have been one of my favourites if you didn't say "this isn't meant to be offensive! " fantastic list, by the way.

That is not true. Everyone is different, I'm Asian and yes, everyone in my school is different.

There are many Chinese kids in my school. Or they may be Japanese. It's hard to distinguish them.

How do you know if a Chinaman robbed your house? A: your homework is done and your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.

Well at least he had the courtesy to upgrade your computer and do your homework, and since he's still in the driveway you can arrest him.

HAHAAHA Considering that Asians made so many car brands, the person who made this post... how do I put this nicely... has the intelligence equivalent to a zit.

How d you know if a American robbed your house? There's McDonald's leftovers everywhere and he couldn't fit through the door

I would love to have my homework done, saying this as I am procrastinating doing my homework.

How do the Chinese come up with names for their kids? They throw a tin can down the stairs.

I don't think I'm supposed to laugh at this but I couldn't hold it back. I'm Asian and that was amazing

OFFENSIVE, my mom made up my name and she searched the dictionary to come up with it

I feel bad but I burst out in laughter! You are extremely creative and original!

Now this is funny

Shout out to the creator

Hardest job in the world, police sketch artist in China

More like South Korea because of all the plastic surgery there, but this is still funny.

Actually Chinese look quite different from each other. We just don't put on make up

Well, I don't think it would be much hard, all he needs to so is to get a ready-made sketch(as they all look same) "made in China"..

White people look all the same to other races. So why is this funny?

Don't make Asian jokes, it's wong

I'm Asian and I believe that English people have worser english than we do. At least we know that it is spelt w-r-o-n-g

Asians with the Downs be like: "They call Wong. Sum Ting Wong."

Haha! Although I'm Asian, I find all of these hilarious.

Continue making Asian jokes! They're hilarious!

If Japanese pop is Jpop, is Chinese rap Crap?

I've listened to everything so I know a lot about music (not everything). If you listen to a few songs that isn't a concise opinion. I hate country but I've listen to it still since I was in middle school and I know it isn't all bad. Close mindedness isn't what this world needs. Try understanding other cultures.

Lol. Chinese rap is indeed terrible. I know cus my classmates are mad about listening to it.

All rap is crap! End of story!

Chinese rap is pretty bad in my opinion

Do the Chinese realize when they are buying souvenirs in America, they are buying things made in their own country?

I shared this with my friend.
So every time we walk by an Asian person at the mall we have to hold in our laughs.
;-; Suggestion : mExIcAn JoKeS

Not only in America, but in other countries too. Seriously, almost everything is made in China!

Considering 99% of our products are made in China I think they should know that.

But this time, They get something written in English! "Made in China! "

I have a new cleaning service that hires Asian cleaning ladies, it's called Maid in China.

Why do some people think Chinese is the only thing that's asian?!

Sounds like a Filipino ad.

With Filipinos as maids?

Yeha because they where bor in China

Wear full body armor, die in one shot. Probably made in China.

But whose fault is it? The white person because he gets low grades and can't check where it's made

Just like china peeps they all look like the real slim shady because there eyes

Body Armor won't help you if you get hit by an AK or higher damage weapons.

Historical joke bout the boxer rebellion.

The Contenders
Apple has a new product for Chinese people, it's called the IOpener

Well I'm Asian and this is good told it to all my Asian friends and they beater me up...

Understood after a couple seconds, this is the best one in this list (should be #1)

Extremely racist But I love it

Got in guest reading...loved it

You know you're screwed when the Asian says "s***" during the test.

What if they say it because there is no extra credit on the test? All Asian parents don't settle for a 100

You're already screwed because like all white people they always get low grades.

I'm Asian and I failed my maths test once. Which makes this irrelevant

I'm not offended by this. I'm asian and I laughed

Why do Asian girls have small boobs? Because only A's are acceptable

Not all Asian girls have small boobs. This list is racist and sexist!

You're laughing at our boobs, we're laughing at your future, xo

Sexist joke I hate it

Bad, dirty classic

You're friends with Asians? Did you learn any of that ching chong language?

Everyone can speak English cause it ain't a challenge...English is a simple, brainless language, even whites ask me how to spell and write for them...one language and they can't even handle that HAHA! Hmm, I just realized that I've never been asked for help with Mathematics EVER

How would you English feel if we said something similar?

More like the "ching chiang chong" language. LOL

And a one and a four and a Ching Ching potato

How do you blind fold an Asian? With dental floss.

I think this list should be called "Funniest Chinese Jokes". Or "East Asian jokes". Somethin' like that.

Actually that would've gone into my eyes, so maybe a proper blind fold would be fine

You probably only need a string that is 1-atom wide and you will be fine.

If that works, then they can't even see, so that is obviously wrong.

How can you tell Mario is racist? He's an Italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, grabs coins like a Jew, and is blinded by a steering wheel so he walks everywhere.

Isn't he the OPPOSITE because all the countries he is affiliated with represent diversity?

That's the funniest one on the list by far!

I bet Donald trump would like this

I laughed so hard even tho I'm asian

My homework brings all the asian boys to the yard, and they're like "It wasn't that hard."

They're right, and maybe you should try challenging yourself?

Just come to my class and see us chinese boys struggle.

This is the funniest joke I ever heard

Well done! Well done!

In english grammar class, you had to write a word and its opposite. The kid wrote: good bad, black white, original China.

Chinese people actually didn't event paper. Egyptians did 1000 years earlier than those people. And ice cream is invented in Europe and no one knows who invented the wheel.

This is why people think something made in China is of low quality. Look at paper, it easily gets torn apart. And it was made in China.

Let's hope the teacher isn't Asian, or he'd get in HUGE trouble, lol.

Jokes on you, we invented paper, wagons, ice cream, the wheel...

What do you call a billionaire Asian. A: CHA CHING!!!!

I'm so gonna say this to my Asian friends why? they were racist to Mexican people my friend ella she Asian she said mo my lawn to me

More like Chi Chang

Damm funny

What rap song do Asians like the most? Rice Rice Baby

Apparently this white person can't make a decent racist joke

What did Asian parents name their retarded baby ? ... Sum ting Wong

That would actually be a good name

Lol! This is one of the funniest

The actual joke is “ two Chinese couples had a black baby, what did they name it? Sum Ting Wong

that's funny lol... "there's no such thing as an inappropriate joke, that's why it's called a joke" - m. scott.

The problem with North Koreans is that their missiles are as small as their penises

How do you know if they have small penises? Do you stalk every asian men amd take pictures of them because you know its bigger than yours?

Great, so funny and I'm north-east-south korean!

J.K I am south korean

So Kokaine Jong Un can't make bigger missiles?!

I'm Asian and this is the best joke so far lmao

How can you tell if an Asians eyes are open or closed? You can't!

Bruh, u don't know what your talking bout when it comes to chinese eye size. Some of us have large eyes.

Of course you can! You just need a very powerful microscope

You can, but only if you have an electron microscope

No, you actually can. Stop generalising Asians

What drug do Asians like most? Crystal Math

Funny stuff. Crystal meth is a drug?

Yes. Crystal Method is a drug.

Probably inspired by the misspell in the news headline: "5 arrested in math lab"(they were trying to say meth lab)

What's the dog population in China? 0

Well cows, chickens and pigs are animals too, just like a dog. I mean Americans don't complain or think twice when they slaughter those animals to eat. It's the same in China, however, the dog population just happens to be larger so they eat dog meat instead of cow, chicken or pig. Honestly, it's narrow minded to think eating dogs are shameful because Chinese people are technically animals themselves because like I stated at the beginning, in America, it's the same, just different animals. Geez, so many people being idiots posting this crap online. Honestly, India probably thinks Americans are disgusting since cows are sacred in come on religion in India. I'm an Asian-American and I'm proud that I eat cow, chicken, and pig meat, but I'm also proud that my relatives in Asia or my ancestors have probably eaten dog meat.

Because there are more dogs than cows. If Americans complain us for eating dogs, why do you eat cows and chickens? Hypocrisy confirmed

More like 600 billion because if it is zero than Chinese people won't eat dongs.

Not Asian, but this is um pretty racist, not everyone eats dogs in China.

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