Top Ten Funniest Asian Jokes

This isn't meant to be offensive to any Asian TopTenners or visitors.

The Top Ten

1 Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident

No matter how many times I hear this joke, I think about the past decade on the road...the only bad drivers I've encountered are primarily white people lol there was people of ALL races, but mostly whites...they think they own the damn road and break road rules a lot

American eyes are wide open shouldn't they be watching it instead of heading off to McDonald's?

Hey! Don't make fun of Asian drivers! It's not their fault they have their eyes blocking out the vision! - ToptenPizza

Um...I don't really like this list cause it kinda um, insults us chineses
we aren't um, stupid like you think we're
We invented the coolest yet most disgusting invention ever...
Toilet tissue... - Aquastar_of_DewClan

V 23 Comments
2 God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.

That is not true. Everyone is different, I'm Asian and yes, everyone in my school is different.

He got bored with everyone. Explains why we have our DNA 99.9% the same, but yes, he was even bored when he got to asians.

Love this! Haha

Lol I laughed like hell seeing this... I don't know why these racist jokes are funny. - Greatness_Forever

V 13 Comments
3 How do you know if a Chinaman robbed your house? A: your homework is done and your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.

I would love to have my homework done, saying this as I am procrastinating doing my homework. - Pegasister12

I was really hoping for this to happen to me.

Well at least he had the courtesy to upgrade your computer and do your homework, and since he's still in the driveway you can arrest him. - ToptenPizza

This is so funny!

V 18 Comments
4 Hardest job in the world, police sketch artist in China

Sketchman: so what did he look like?
Me: well...long black hair, very white skin, tall, young looking, black eyes...
Sketch man: *draws* time to line up the suspects!
*every women in China old enough to commit a crime is in the building*
Sketch man: so who is it?
Me: oh god,they ALL look the same! - ToptenPizza

More like South Korea because of all the plastic surgery there, but this is still funny.

Haha I'm Asian and that's hilarious

Finally someone who is not offended! (Asians are awesome by the way) - SenpaiNoticeMe

Not funny

V 6 Comments
5 How do the Chinese come up with names for their kids? They throw a tin can down the stairs.

I feel bad but I burst out in laughter! You are extremely creative and original! - Flowersocks2137

I don't think I'm supposed to laugh at this but I couldn't hold it back. I'm Asian and that was amazing

Excuse me, we throw chopsticks. - keycha1n

No they drop a spoon ching bang chong

V 10 Comments
6 You know you're screwed when the Asian says "s***" during the test.

Asians may be smart, but why do they mock us by doing math with their eyes closed? - ToptenPizza

What if they say it because there is no extra credit on the test? All Asian parents don't settle for a 100

I'm not offended by this. I'm asian and I laughed

The grade must be a 99 or below on a math test

V 11 Comments
7 You're friends with Asians? Did you learn any of that ching chong language?

Everyone can speak English cause it ain't a challenge...English is a simple, brainless language, even whites ask me how to spell and write for language and they can't even handle that HAHA! Hmm, I just realized that I've never been asked for help with Mathematics EVER

I am American (english native speaker) and I know Chinese, but that's kind of funny because I found Chinese to be challenging yet easy at the same time. I guess most other people in America and England have difficulty with it. - SenpaiNoticeMe

How would you English feel if we said something similar?

More like the "ching chiang chong" language. LOL

You bad bad man
cyber bullying is bad
p.s I'm offended

Don't take things on the net seriously... There are just funny so laugh. - Greatness_Forever

V 8 Comments
8 Don't make Asian jokes, it's wong

Asians with the Downs be like: "They call Wong. Sum Ting Wong."

Haha! Although I'm Asian, I find all of these hilarious. - Fandom_Lover

They're too funny so yes I'll keep making them

This is a little funny

V 10 Comments
9 If Japanese pop is Jpop, is Chinese rap Crap?

All rap is crap! End of story! - ToptenPizza

Yes it is. And it's weird. - keycha1n

Country + Rap = Crap? I don't know!

Lmfao... That's hilarious - Greatness_Forever

V 10 Comments
10 Wear full body armor, die in one shot. Probably made in China.

But whose fault is it? The white person because he gets low grades and can't check where it's made

To be fair, KIDS make these products - ToptenPizza

Just like china peeps they all look like the real slim shady because there eyes

V 4 Comments

The Contenders

11 Do the Chinese realize when they are buying souvenirs in America, they are buying things made in their own country?

Considering 99% of our products are made in China I think they should know that. - ToptenPizza

But this time, They get something written in English! "Made in China! " - Ihaskitty1234

Well, my life is Made in China - CerealGuy

My life is made in China

V 4 Comments
12 I have a new cleaning service that hires Asian cleaning ladies, it's called Maid in China.

Why do some people think Chinese is the only thing that's asian?!

With Filipinos as maids?

Sounds like a Filipino ad. - Fandom_Lover


V 1 Comment
13 In english grammar class, you had to write a word and its opposite. The kid wrote: good bad, black white, original China.

This is why people think something made in China is of low quality. Look at paper, it easily gets torn apart. And it was made in China.

Chinese people actually didn't event paper. Egyptians did 1000 years earlier than those people. And ice cream is invented in Europe and no one knows who invented the wheel.

Let's hope the teacher isn't Asian, or he'd get in HUGE trouble, lol. - ToptenPizza

I’m Chinese and I didn’t not find this one bit funny. Why is this website full of racist rubbish?

V 2 Comments
14 Apple has a new product for Chinese people, it's called the IOpener

Understood after a couple seconds, this is the best one in this list (should be #1)

Well I'm Asian and this is good told it to all my Asian friends and they beater me up...

Got in guest reading...loved it

It made me laugh! 5 stars!

V 11 Comments
15 Why do Asian girls have small boobs? Because only A's are acceptable

I don't get this.

You're laughing at our boobs, we're laughing at your future, xo

I like curry

Good one

V 2 Comments
16 How do you blind fold an Asian? With dental floss.

Actually that would've gone into my eyes, so maybe a proper blind fold would be fine

My eyes are not squinty yet I'm Asian.

Hmm, at least you will not get made fun of much. Most are both slanted and squinty but I guess some are just slanted. - SenpaiNoticeMe

If that works, then they can't even see, so that is obviously wrong.


V 7 Comments
17 How can you tell Mario is racist? He's an Italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, grabs coins like a Jew, and is blinded by a steering wheel so he walks everywhere.

I bet Donald trump would like this

Isn't he the OPPOSITE because all the countries he is affiliated with represent diversity? - TwilightKitsune

Haha! This is the funniest one! - BlueTopazIceVanilla


V 5 Comments
18 My homework brings all the asian boys to the yard, and they're like "It wasn't that hard."

This is the funniest joke I ever heard

Well done! Well done!

This is hilarious!

Funny as hell

V 4 Comments
19 What do you call a billionaire Asian. A: CHA CHING!!!!

I'm so gonna say this to my Asian friends why? they were racist to Mexican people my friend ella she Asian she said mo my lawn to me


I like curry


V 2 Comments
20 What rap song do Asians like the most? Rice Rice Baby

Apparently this white person can't make a decent racist joke

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List Stats

2,000 votes
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2 years, 204 days old

Top Remixes

1. God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.
2. Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident
3. How do the Chinese come up with names for their kids? They throw a tin can down the stairs.
1. God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.
2. Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident
3. You're friends with Asians? Did you learn any of that ching chong language?



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