Top Ten Funniest Asian Jokes

This isn't meant to be offensive to any Asian TopTenners or visitors.

The Top Ten

Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident

No matter how many times I hear this joke, I think about the past decade on the road...the only bad drivers I've encountered are primarily white people lol there was people of ALL races, but mostly whites...they think they own the damn road and break road rules a lot

American eyes are wide open shouldn't they be watching it instead of heading off to McDonald's?

Hey! Don't make fun of Asian drivers! It's not their fault they have their eyes blocking out the vision!

I think you're lucky if you're Asia because you're the only race other than white that Trump doesn't hate.

God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.

That is not true. Everyone is different, I'm Asian and yes, everyone in my school is different.

Asian or not, I still find that joke offensive.

You shouldn't use God as a joke and/or an insult.

He got bored with everyone. Explains why we have our DNA 99.9% the same, but yes, he was even bored when he got to asians.

How do you know if a Chinaman robbed your house? A: your homework is done and your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.

I would love to have my homework done, saying this as I am procrastinating doing my homework.

Well at least he had the courtesy to upgrade your computer and do your homework, and since he's still in the driveway you can arrest him.

I was really hoping for this to happen to me.

This is so funny!

Hardest job in the world, police sketch artist in China

Actually Chinese look quite different from each other. We just don't put on make up

Haha I'm Asian and that's hilarious

Finally someone who is not offended! (Asians are awesome by the way)

More like South Korea because of all the plastic surgery there, but this is still funny.

Well, I don't think it would be much hard, all he needs to so is to get a ready-made sketch(as they all look same) "made in China"..

How do the Chinese come up with names for their kids? They throw a tin can down the stairs.

Excuse me, we throw chopsticks.

I feel bad but I burst out in laughter! You are extremely creative and original!

I don't think I'm supposed to laugh at this but I couldn't hold it back. I'm Asian and that was amazing

No they drop a spoon ching bang chong

You know you're screwed when the Asian says "s***" during the test.

oof lel (so the joke is this?: they are smarter and if they can't do the test then you can't do it.)

What if they say it because there is no extra credit on the test? All Asian parents don't settle for a 100

I'm not offended by this. I'm asian and I laughed

The grade must be a 99 or below on a math test

You're friends with Asians? Did you learn any of that ching chong language?

Everyone can speak English cause it ain't a challenge...English is a simple, brainless language, even whites ask me how to spell and write for them...one language and they can't even handle that HAHA! Hmm, I just realized that I've never been asked for help with Mathematics EVER

I am American (english native speaker) and I know Chinese, but that's kind of funny because I found Chinese to be challenging yet easy at the same time. I guess most other people in America and England have difficulty with it.

How would you English feel if we said something similar?

More like the "ching chiang chong" language. LOL

This is greatest

Don't make Asian jokes, it's wong

Asians with the Downs be like: "They call Wong. Sum Ting Wong."

Haha! Although I'm Asian, I find all of these hilarious.

They're too funny so yes I'll keep making them

This is a little funny

If Japanese pop is Jpop, is Chinese rap Crap?

Lol. Chinese rap is indeed terrible. I know cus my classmates are mad about listening to it.

All rap is crap! End of story!

I've listened to everything so I know a lot about music (not everything). If you listen to a few songs that isn't a concise opinion. I hate country but I've listen to it still since I was in middle school and I know it isn't all bad. Close mindedness isn't what this world needs. Try understanding other cultures.

Yes it is. And it's weird.

Wear full body armor, die in one shot. Probably made in China.

But whose fault is it? The white person because he gets low grades and can't check where it's made

To be fair, KIDS make these products

Just like china peeps they all look like the real slim shady because there eyes

Should've voted for this.

The Contenders

Do the Chinese realize when they are buying souvenirs in America, they are buying things made in their own country?

Not only in America, but in other countries too. Seriously, almost everything is made in China!

I shared this with my friend.
So every time we walk by an Asian person at the mall we have to hold in our laughs.
;-; Suggestion : mExIcAn JoKeS

Considering 99% of our products are made in China I think they should know that.

But this time, They get something written in English! "Made in China! "

I have a new cleaning service that hires Asian cleaning ladies, it's called Maid in China.

Why do some people think Chinese is the only thing that's asian?!

Sounds like a Filipino ad.

With Filipinos as maids?

More like MAD in China!

In english grammar class, you had to write a word and its opposite. The kid wrote: good bad, black white, original China.

This is why people think something made in China is of low quality. Look at paper, it easily gets torn apart. And it was made in China.

Chinese people actually didn't event paper. Egyptians did 1000 years earlier than those people. And ice cream is invented in Europe and no one knows who invented the wheel.

Let's hope the teacher isn't Asian, or he'd get in HUGE trouble, lol.

Jokes on you, we invented paper, wagons, ice cream, the wheel...

China probably did not invent those things but I know China invented many more great things. - SenpaiNoticeMe

Apple has a new product for Chinese people, it's called the IOpener

AHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm chinese and I never knew that people can't tell that our eyes are open or not.

Understood after a couple seconds, this is the best one in this list (should be #1)

Well I'm Asian and this is good told it to all my Asian friends and they beater me up...

Got in guest reading...loved it

Why do Asian girls have small boobs? Because only A's are acceptable

Not all Asian girls have small boobs. This list is racist and sexist!

Sexist joke I hate it

I'm glad I have small boobs I wouldn't be sexually assaulted by some pathetic perv anyways

I don't get this.

How do you blind fold an Asian? With dental floss.

I think this list should be called "Funniest Chinese Jokes". Or "East Asian jokes". Somethin' like that.

Actually that would've gone into my eyes, so maybe a proper blind fold would be fine

My eyes are not squinty yet I'm Asian.

Hmm, at least you will not get made fun of much. Most are both slanted and squinty but I guess some are just slanted.

If that works, then they can't even see, so that is obviously wrong.

How can you tell Mario is racist? He's an Italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, grabs coins like a Jew, and is blinded by a steering wheel so he walks everywhere.

I bet Donald trump would like this

Isn't he the OPPOSITE because all the countries he is affiliated with represent diversity?

Haha! This is the funniest one!

That's the funniest one on the list by far!

My homework brings all the asian boys to the yard, and they're like "It wasn't that hard."

They're right, and maybe you should try challenging yourself?

This is the funniest joke I ever heard

Just come to my class and see us chinese boys struggle.

Well done! Well done!

What do you call a billionaire Asian. A: CHA CHING!!!!

More like Chi Chang

I'm so gonna say this to my Asian friends why? they were racist to Mexican people my friend ella she Asian she said mo my lawn to me

Yes

? Obviously

What rap song do Asians like the most? Rice Rice Baby

Apparently this white person can't make a decent racist joke

What did Asian parents name their retarded baby ? ... Sum ting Wong

That would actually be a good name

Lol! This is one of the funniest

Yup

amazing

The problem with North Koreans is that their missiles are as small as their penises

Great, so funny and I'm north-east-south korean!

J.K I am south korean

How do you know if they have small penises? Do you stalk every asian men amd take pictures of them because you know its bigger than yours?

I'm Asian and this is the best joke so far lmao

True

How can you tell if an Asians eyes are open or closed? You can't!

Bruh, u don't know what your talking bout when it comes to chinese eye size. Some of us have large eyes.

Damn you racist people...

You can, but only if you have an electron microscope

Of course you can! You just need a very powerful microscope

What drug do Asians like most? Crystal Math

Probably inspired by the misspell in the news headline: "5 arrested in math lab"(they were trying to say meth lab)

Funny stuff. Crystal meth is a drug?

Yes. Crystal Method is a drug.

True story

What's the dog population in China? 0

Well cows, chickens and pigs are animals too, just like a dog. I mean Americans don't complain or think twice when they slaughter those animals to eat. It's the same in China, however, the dog population just happens to be larger so they eat dog meat instead of cow, chicken or pig. Honestly, it's narrow minded to think eating dogs are shameful because Chinese people are technically animals themselves because like I stated at the beginning, in America, it's the same, just different animals. Geez, so many people being idiots posting this crap online. Honestly, India probably thinks Americans are disgusting since cows are sacred in come on religion in India. I'm an Asian-American and I'm proud that I eat cow, chicken, and pig meat, but I'm also proud that my relatives in Asia or my ancestors have probably eaten dog meat.

Because there are more dogs than cows. If Americans complain us for eating dogs, why do you eat cows and chickens? Hypocrisy confirmed

But they banned eating dogs in most parts of China

More like 600 billion because if it is zero than Chinese people won't eat dongs.

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