Top Ten Funniest Asian Jokes

This isn't meant to be offensive to any Asian TopTenners or visitors.

The Contenders: Page 2

21 What did Asian parents name their retarded baby ? ... Sum ting Wong

That would actually be a good name

Lol! This is one of the funniest



22 The problem with North Koreans is that their missiles are as small as their penises

How do you know if they have small penises? Do you stalk every asian men amd take pictures of them because you know its bigger than yours?

I'm Asian and this is the best joke so far lmao


Great, so funny and I'm north-east-south korean!

J.K I am south korean

23 How can you tell if an Asians eyes are open or closed? You can't!

You can, but only if you have an electron microscope

Damn you racist people...

Of course you can! You just need a very powerful microscope

Not funny. Just plain rude

V 3 Comments
24 What's the dog population in China? 0

Well cows, chickens and pigs are animals too, just like a dog. I mean Americans don't complain or think twice when they slaughter those animals to eat. It's the same in China, however, the dog population just happens to be larger so they eat dog meat instead of cow, chicken or pig. Honestly, it's narrow minded to think eating dogs are shameful because Chinese people are technically animals themselves because like I stated at the beginning, in America, it's the same, just different animals. Geez, so many people being idiots posting this crap online. Honestly, India probably thinks Americans are disgusting since cows are sacred in come on religion in India. I'm an Asian-American and I'm proud that I eat cow, chicken, and pig meat, but I'm also proud that my relatives in Asia or my ancestors have probably eaten dog meat.

But they banned eating dogs in most parts of China

More like 600 billion because if it is zero than Chinese people won't eat dongs.

To the commenter below: One day someone will explain what a joke is to you. - Xean45

V 3 Comments
25 Two wongs don't make a white.

If 2 Wongs get together, they'll lead a very happy life

Their is allways adoption

26 What drug do Asians like most? Crystal Math

Probably inspired by the misspell in the news headline: "5 arrested in math lab"(they were trying to say meth lab)

Funny stuff. Crystal meth is a drug?

True story

27 What do Asians put their birthday candles on? Rice cakes

Well nice jokes

At least we don't add sugar and a lot of other bad stuff for you

At least rice cakes are healthier


V 2 Comments
28 What happened to the Chinese man when he walked into the wall with a boner? He broke his nose.

That should have hurt

That was funnh

YO that's the best one I've seen here all I see is lame ass jokes and I'm not even asian when I say that
they really are lame
but yours are pure gold man xDD

29 Where do Asian go for lunch? KFC (Kentucky Fried Chihuahua)

Where do Americans go for lunch? McDonald's isn't it obvious?

We actually DO got to KFC for lunch

More like Americans go to McDonaldTrump's for lunch.


V 1 Comment
30 Asian face + stove = frying pan

Not funny. Just really racist.

31 What is the most common crime in China? Identity fraud

Their second name I guess... - Ananya


32 Which rapper do Asians like the most? Dr. Dre

The best of the lot and funny too! LOL YOLO

V 4 Comments
33 What do you call Asians running down a hill? Asian invasion

Or maybe our youngsters are happy playing with their non-racist friends

Very funny

34 I like how Chinese people are good at solving mathematics problems and doing the Rubix's cube, but doing it with their eyes closed, that's a bit too much.

I have some friends who CAN do a Rubix's cube with their eyes closed. I wanna see you try!

V 2 Comments
35 Asian diet includes rice, rice, sushi

Japanese, Korean, and Chinese are not the only asian countries you guys know? There's even countries in Asia that Sushi isn't popular

Actually, rice, vegetables, fruits

Heeyy! Don't forget ramen! - Fandom_Lover

They eat da noodle, too!

V 1 Comment
36 Why can't Asian people have white children? Because two wongs don't make a wight.

"white" not wight


37 What do you call an asian with a small penis? Normal.

One thing I don't understand is why people of the asian race would be viewing jokes about themselves. This is really tmi but mine's bigger than the international average;4.7 " mines 5 1/2". I'm 12 but it only makes sense since I'm incredibly healthy and 5'6

Okay that's not funny

Appearantly my penis is bigger than most of my white and black friends and I'm Asian

I'm koren I have a 7 in

38 What do you call a black Asian? An undercover cop

Or an Asian who had a horrible sun burn

V 1 Comment
39 How do you blind an Asian? Put a steering wheel in front of him.

Actually... if you put a blind fold over us, we might not be able to see

How do you blind a white? Flash a damn white light infront of them

Damn true

40 What tests do Asians usually fail? Driving Tests

What do Americans usually fail on? Diet plans

Some are really good drivers, idiots

That is good

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List Stats

2,000 votes
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2 years, 197 days old

Top Remixes

1. God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.
2. Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident
3. How do the Chinese come up with names for their kids? They throw a tin can down the stairs.
1. God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.
2. Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident
3. You're friends with Asians? Did you learn any of that ching chong language?



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