Top 10 Funniest Insults

Celestius

The Top Ten

1 You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.

, that is a genius come-back! That is so SMART! Even I wouldn't have thought of that, though I am really bad at comebacks.

Great comeback used it so much at school

I'm using this one on The next person I see I hate

Well I got a joke that will kill you god made rivers god made lakes god made you hell everyone makes mistakes

Nice insult I am going to use on this dude

V 37 Comments
2 Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Another one is:Roses are red and violets are blue: I thought I was ugly until I met ya

Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers the middle one's for you - PewDiePie

Why on earth are you here?! School doesn't allow litter.

This comeback is good, just don’t add God in it because that would be an insult to God
And u would not want that...

V 77 Comments
3 Hey, I looked up a hobo in the dictionary and the definition was you

Don't work out so will

Ha ha laugh out loud

Laugh out loud so funny!

THIS IS SO FUNNY THAT I LITERALLY DIED LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL 69696969696969

V 15 Comments
4 We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.

Laugh out loud great for my main enemy that lies A LOT

Used it on my bro he got peed off

I know you lie your lips are moving tell me do you think I'm dumb

Looking at you, Donald Trump

V 17 Comments
5 Dumbass

My ass smells like cherry coke on a sundernesday because of the time I drove my donkey to work on a twinkie plane... I just said mommy in the bath tub with batman

I started laughing my ass off when all I saw was dumbass. That's a word not a insult

Just classic use of insults since it always leaves your enemy slack dropped of and pissed off. I did this on my mates and they were owned

art

V 11 Comments
6 The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

Wow this is perfect. "Yo mama" jokes are cruel and unfunny. But this? This is comic GOLD!

That is a true burn. The one true burn. BURN! Be it Indian, Chinese or just leant on a soldering iron, it's a BUR! - PositronWildhawk

Laugh out loud this is hilarious!

What if the bloke you say it to says: 'You're good with the chicken's arse, I'm virgin by choice.'?

V 31 Comments
7 Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality

I'm so gonna use this classy one

I am cracking up with my friend ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Oh yeah, it must be very VERY BIG! But not bigger than my personality, I am the biggest PERSONALITY EVER! - AnimeDrawer

I will try it

V 9 Comments
8 You married Barney

"your birth certifercet is an apology for the condom factory"

You so ugly that santa paid you to kill yourself

I don't get it but I'm sure someone will find it funny...

Hahahha yes this is the best!

V 20 Comments
9 Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident

I love this one totally using it on someone from my school, totally gonna shut them up!

This is so funny I and totally going to use this when my uncles disses me again you wait because this insult will be used. I garden tee you that this is the best insult ever to be found please use it because I am

This is so funny! I am so going to use this on my friends when they're making fun of me again. I'll bet this will make them shut up.

funny!

V 10 Comments
10 Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror her reflection walked away

I love this so much

Laugh out loud so funny

I usually hate yo mamma jokes but this one is decent - Leaftail

Not even the mirror can stand looking at my momma. - AnimeDrawer

V 18 Comments

The Contenders

11 I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

This joke is way better than the ther ones. I t's funny it makes sense and it doesn't sound like some three year old isn't trying to make fun of you...

So good! This is probably one of the only comebacks which would actually work when it's not inside your head - reality stinks

That's awesome without being to insulting or hurtful to someones family or looks! I will use this today.

Self explanatory

V 16 Comments
12 Ahhh!!! Run a bear, oh wait that's just your mom

Laugh out loud funny as ever

I always use this when I met my girlfriend's mom

Well, my mom is a bear, that is why she weighs 1000 pounds. I am half human and half bear. - AnimeDrawer

Lol couldn't stop laughing

V 2 Comments
13 You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back

So funny laugh out loud

You were so ugly when you were born that the doctor told your mom what a treasure and your mom said yeah lets bury it

Love it used it on my friend he was lost for words! Thanks man

THAT IS JUST CLASSIC I love IT :3

V 13 Comments
14 Everybody makes mistakes, even God did when he made your face

Whoever said God isn't real if you were to insult me try to take a guess what finger I'd put up

God doesn't make mistakes. Don't reply that He's not real because I won't believe you. He is real and nothing can tell me otherwise. - RedTheGremlin

Everybody makes mistakes even your mum when she forgot condoms

haha

V 16 Comments
15 You have enough fat to make another human

Man, this is so offensive but it's also at the same time hilarious

Just thought of it

But they need the body parts!

Best comback

V 6 Comments
16 Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

I love you man! This is the best come back of all time

So hilarious I can use it on m enemies who have dates and break them up

LoL I love this one I'm sooo gonna use it!

Lol

V 1 Comment
17 I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.

Nice one! :P Always wanted to try this, just waiting for the chance to try it! I totally agree with this one though.

Laugh out loud I should say that to my worst enemy!

I love this joke it is so funny. This kid who lives behind me always insults me and I insult him back!

amazing

V 17 Comments
18 Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is

I'm gonna say this to my bro!

So funny it brought tears to my eyes

Damn funny! My favorite until now!

Lmao best roast ever M8

V 5 Comments
19 I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Used it already! Very good insult to use on people, love it you should use it to it messes people up a lot. Amazing!

Haha that's funny it would take a while for the person to catch on! Laugh out loud

THIS ONES ON A JAYJAYS T-SHIRT... ME BROTHER HAS IT...
its funny! plus.. Who whould say that?

That's from beauty and the beast

V 2 Comments
20 Yo mama so stupid she still can't figure out how to tie her shoes

Maybe because they're Velcro :L

I didn't know how to tie my shoes until I was 11. :(

I'm 9 and can't tie my own shoes. Quite Sad :(

21 Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Ohh! Major burn! I will have to try this. People always make fun of my pixie cut and the size of my nose so now i, ll always have a comeback!

You mom is so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

I love nature but when I hate someone I wish it left

Oh my gosh
Someone call the fire department because u just got burned!

V 9 Comments
22 Your so fat that the equator is 20000m times shorter than your belt

English tricky language...

Its: Your so fat that the equator is 20000 time shorter OR 20000 times shorter, not both mate

Are you Australian? You said the word 'mate. ' It's fine if you R. I'm attracted to cute Australians. Forget British accents!

I don't get this

I peed my self of laughter

23 I think you need a licence to be that ugly

Brother told that to me and we laughed together

good one

Eish my friend kaylan naidoo died when I told him that Eminem why don't you come to South Africa at gauteng. At 2 November

24 I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

Very cruel. What if I tell my boyfriend this...

My enemy is going to be so confused when I tell her this

25 It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails, with a hunting knife, and he ran into me, backwards, 17 times.

Lol this is funny but if you actually said that to a cop man are you ever in trouble

Sounds extremely disturbing and awkward

Honestly, I don't find this very funny, I have been cleaning my finger nails with a giant knife and you know maybe somebody ran into it, maybe they didn't. People just need to be more careful. YeeeHaaaw

That's sick (as in DISGUSTING)

V 2 Comments
26 Your mums so fat not even Dora could explore her

This made me laugh but the others did not really

Dora annoys the crap out of me. Hope I'm not alone

Yo momma so fat she needs Google earth to find her ass hole

I made this

V 2 Comments
27 Your birth certificate is an apology letter from a condom factory

I love this one

Ha Ha! SO FUNNY THIS IS A COMEDY MASTERPIECE!

Love it too

awesome

V 1 Comment
28 Your family tree is a cactus because everyone on it is a prick.

I love this one. One time I got into a fight with someone on a field trip and I roasted him in front of like fifty people

This is true just ask my friend kyle he has the same situation as all of you reading

This is the funniest comeback of all time!

Lol

V 4 Comments
29 Yo mama so poor she had to get her clothes from a dumpster

That's not so great.

That is very poor laugh out loud

I'm gonna stick to the laffy taffy jokes

I'm sorry but I don't like this😖

V 2 Comments
30 “My husband and I divorced over religious differences.”He thought he was GOD and I didn't.
31 Your so lazy that you ask someone to come to your house to change the tv channel

Really? I've heard popsicle jokes funnier

Really. not to be rude bit I've heard better comments than this

32 Bunny kisser

Can't you put an animal more disgusting on there? Like a cow

Funny with a capital F!

33 I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.

Kind of like "I miss you, but my aim is improving. " - usmc650736

I'm doing this to this girl that is always a b*tch to me and my friends she is really fat and ugly and tries to fit in but she can't because she takes up the whole hallway oo burn

You always have that one friend that secretly annoys you.

Good one! I'll use it on this really annoying kid.

V 1 Comment
34 Yo mama so stupid she ate cereal with a knife

Yo mama so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save the milk, now that is funny

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store overnight and starved to death

He messed up the cereal

I have one for u if your dad is gonna acts like a dick would mite as well dress like one.

V 3 Comments
35 Your so weak that you can't rip a piece of paper

Not a good one man

This one was so bad that I laughed - RedTheGremlin

Me every day lol

36 Hey, I just met you, girl you look crazy, what's brand's your makeup, crayola, maybe?

Saying this to nearly every girl I know

I'm a girl myself, but I must give this insult credit.

Lol I'm a girl but that's funny

Amazing jokes lmao

V 10 Comments
37 Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?

Telling that to my dictator teacher. Probably get suspended but what eves. My private school sucks anyway. GO PUBLIC SCHOOLS

I dare you to use this on your mother!

I would not have the balls to say that to my mom...

I would though

V 2 Comments
38 People who are stupid, are one of you

bad

39 I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

Your family tree isn't a family tree it's a cactus because they're all pricks

Great. I used this as a 'comeback' at school when someone called me ugly.

Haga this reminds me of SHAUN BARLETT

40 Yo mama so dumb she got knocked down by a parked car

Laughed the heck out of me it's so funny!

Too funny I was laughing so hard...

That is an sick burn!

LOL I'm CRYING SO MUCH :D::::

41 Your so weak that you can't hold a grain of salt

I've heard funnier jokes like what is this a grain of salt? Come on. Be more original

How would you hold up your body your legs will brake

What about half an atom? :(

This is an insult, really.😐

42 You look like Justin Bieber

That is so cruel

Lol I'm using this because I hate justin bieber especially when he breathes

I hate who wrote this to him I love justin

That's so funny I could fart

V 5 Comments
43 I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

I am gonna use this on annoying person in my class

44 If ugliness were bricks then you would be the Great Wall of China

Laugh out loud! Fell off my chair!

I literally just dropped my apple chips all over the floor

This is pretty everyone's lol of the day!

Savage

V 6 Comments
45 I fart to make you smell better.

I'll tell that one to my older sibling. We'll both laugh out loud

Best comeback in human history

I'm using this on my friends

Perfect

V 2 Comments
46 If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

I'll use this on the wife hopefully she'll divorce me

Divorce isn't pretty you know.

47 Yo mama so fat when she jumped the earth dropped

Try this: your mma is so fat she sat on your ass

Don't be ashamed to snort. Just not lethal drugs or anything

Laugh out loud good one

That kinda sucked

V 1 Comment
48 Get yourself another face, my dog wants her ass back

I will defiantly use this!

LMFAO I JUST DIED

I just love this, why isn't it in the top 10?!?

so goood

V 2 Comments
49 Nice face, where did you get it? A Cracker Jack box.

Good lord this is so funny!

50 You so dumb that you won the lottery and ripped the ticket

It's actually a good idea to rip the ticket 'cause it will be useless after you won the lottery

You wouldn't need the ticket anymore if you've already won (duh)

Hahah true you wouldn't need it

You farted

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8 years, 39 days old

Top Remixes (11)

1. Dumbass
2. Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality
3. You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.
shadicxd
1. You married Barney
2. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
3. We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
DESERTFOX
1. Hey, I looked up a hobo in the dictionary and the definition was you
2. Dumbass
3. Ahhh!!! Run a bear, oh wait that's just your mom
Jgxl183

WRemix
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