Top 10 Funniest Insults


The Top Ten

1 You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.

, that is a genius come-back! That is so SMART! Even I wouldn't have thought of that, though I am really bad at comebacks.

Great comeback used it so much at school

I'm using this one on The next person I see I hate

Well I got a joke that will kill you god made rivers god made lakes god made you hell everyone makes mistakes

I was moving the can you idiots! Not from my home, never. - AnimeDrawer

V 32 Comments
2 Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Another one is:Roses are red and violets are blue: I thought I was ugly until I met ya

Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers the middle one's for you - PewDiePie

Why on earth are you here?! School doesn't allow litter.

I was made pretty too, but man, you are so ugly. - AnimeDrawer

V 73 Comments
3 Hey, I looked up a hobo in the dictionary and the definition was you

Don't work out so will

Ha ha laugh out loud

Laugh out loud so funny!

Well guess what? It was not me! A hobo is Kim Jong Un. - AnimeDrawer

V 14 Comments
4 We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.

Laugh out loud great for my main enemy that lies A LOT

Used it on my bro he got peed off

I know you lie your lips are moving tell me do you think I'm dumb

Well, I am talking, how are my lips not going to move? - AnimeDrawer

V 15 Comments
5 Dumbass

My ass smells like cherry coke on a sundernesday because of the time I drove my donkey to work on a twinkie plane... I just said mommy in the bath tub with batman

I started laughing my ass off when all I saw was dumbass. That's a word not a insult

Just classic use of insults since it always leaves your enemy slack dropped of and pissed off. I did this on my mates and they were owned

I got one (breaths in) with a voice like yours I wish I was deaf...

V 9 Comments
6 The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

Wow this is perfect. "Yo mama" jokes are cruel and unfunny. But this? This is comic GOLD!

That is a true burn. The one true burn. BURN! Be it Indian, Chinese or just leant on a soldering iron, it's a BUR! - PositronWildhawk

Laugh out loud this is hilarious!

Can I have Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner instead? - AnimeDrawer

V 27 Comments
7 Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality

I'm so gonna use this classy one

I am cracking up with my friend ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Oh yeah, it must be very VERY BIG! But not bigger than my personality, I am the biggest PERSONALITY EVER! - AnimeDrawer

Don't get it

V 8 Comments
8 You married Barney

"your birth certifercet is an apology for the condom factory"

You so ugly that santa paid you to kill yourself

I don't get it but I'm sure someone will find it funny...

I love Barney, he is the love of my life. I wish I can marry someone as hot as him. - AnimeDrawer

V 18 Comments
9 Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident

I love this one totally using it on someone from my school, totally gonna shut them up!

This is so funny I and totally going to use this when my uncles disses me again you wait because this insult will be used. I garden tee you that this is the best insult ever to be found please use it because I am

This is so funny! I am so going to use this on my friends when they're making fun of me again. I'll bet this will make them shut up.


V 10 Comments
10 Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror her reflection walked away

I love this so much

Laugh out loud so funny

I usually hate yo mamma jokes but this one is decent - Leaftail

Not even the mirror can stand looking at my momma. - AnimeDrawer

V 18 Comments

The Contenders

11 I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

This joke is way better than the ther ones. I t's funny it makes sense and it doesn't sound like some three year old isn't trying to make fun of you...

So good! This is probably one of the only comebacks which would actually work when it's not inside your head - reality stinks

That's awesome without being to insulting or hurtful to someones family or looks! I will use this today.

I give this a clap. Perfect for ignoring people. Especially annoying friends

V 15 Comments
12 Ahhh!!! Run a bear, oh wait that's just your mom

Laugh out loud funny as ever

I always use this when I met my girlfriend's mom

Well, my mom is a bear, that is why she weighs 1000 pounds. I am half human and half bear. - AnimeDrawer

Lol couldn't stop laughing

V 2 Comments
13 You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back

So funny laugh out loud

You were so ugly when you were born that the doctor told your mom what a treasure and your mom said yeah lets bury it

Love it used it on my friend he was lost for words! Thanks man

The moment I saw this I laughed my balls off

V 11 Comments
14 You have enough fat to make another human

Man, this is so offensive but it's also at the same time hilarious

Just thought of it

But they need the body parts!

Best comback

V 6 Comments
15 I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.

Nice one! :P Always wanted to try this, just waiting for the chance to try it! I totally agree with this one though.

Laugh out loud I should say that to my worst enemy!

I love this joke it is so funny. This kid who lives behind me always insults me and I insult him back!


V 17 Comments
16 Everybody makes mistakes, even God did when he made your face

Whoever said God isn't real if you were to insult me try to take a guess what finger I'd put up

Everybody makes mistakes even your mum when she forgot condoms

Oh dang!, this was hilarious.


V 12 Comments
17 Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

So hilarious I can use it on m enemies who have dates and break them up

V 3 Comments
18 Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is

I'm gonna say this to my bro!

So funny it brought tears to my eyes

Damn funny! My favorite until now!

GET REKT - shawnmccaul22

V 4 Comments
19 I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Used it already! Very good insult to use on people, love it you should use it to it messes people up a lot. Amazing!

Haha that's funny it would take a while for the person to catch on! Laugh out loud

its funny! plus.. Who whould say that?

That's from beauty and the beast

V 2 Comments
20 Yo mama so stupid she still can't figure out how to tie her shoes

Maybe because they're Velcro :L

I didn't know how to tie my shoes until I was 11. :(

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List Stats

3,000 votes
264 listings
7 years, 159 days old

Top Remixes (10)

1. Dumbass
2. Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality
3. You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.
1. You married Barney
2. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
3. We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
1. Hey, I looked up a hobo in the dictionary and the definition was you
2. Dumbass
3. Ahhh!!! Run a bear, oh wait that's just your mom

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