Top 10 Funniest Insults

The Top Ten

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Another one is:Roses are red and violets are blue: I thought I was ugly until I met ya

Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers the middle one's for you

Acctulay its roses are red violets are blue I was born pretty what happened to you?

Here is a good one for your teacher roses are red violets are blue they are few teachers just like you.

You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.

When I see you I think of a plastic bag, because it's disposable.

Hey my grandpa is poor and my daddy was once poor I just wanted ya to know that my grandma died of lack of health insurance then

, that is a genius come-back! That is so SMART! Even I wouldn't have thought of that, though I am really bad at comebacks.

Great comeback used it so much at school

Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident

I love this one totally using it on someone from my school, totally gonna shut them up!

This is so funny I and totally going to use this when my uncles disses me again you wait because this insult will be used. I garden tee you that this is the best insult ever to be found please use it because I am

This is so funny! I am so going to use this on my friends when they're making fun of me again. I'll bet this will make them shut up.

It's so good I'm going to use it on all enemies that are kinda friends.

We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.

Laugh out loud great for my main enemy that lies A LOT

Looking at a friend of mine who always takes me for granted like a HUGE JERK and is a horrible unapologetic excuse of a human being (I would call him an animal but I don't want to insult them because I LOVE animals).

I know you lie your lips are moving tell me do you think I'm dumb

Used it on my bro he got peed off

Oh, I'm sorry did I give you the impression that I wanted your opinion? It won't happen again

This one is great I like that it doesn't revolve around the target being the worst thing ever it's just a sharp point to someone that they aren't important.

This one is nice comeback lol

Lol this is hilarious

Writing this one down. comment if you are too!

Hey, I looked up a hobo in the dictionary and the definition was you

Don't work out so will

Ha ha laugh out loud

Laugh out loud so funny!

I tried that on my sister and got slapped.

Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror her reflection walked away

I love this so much

I don't understand you mama jokes. I mean your not insulting the person your insulting their mum. Shouldn't it be 'you' or 'your' instead of 'yo mama'? - Unnamed Google User Remade

Your mama so ugly when she went to a haunted house she came out with a job application

Laugh out loud so funny

I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.

Nice one! :P Always wanted to try this, just waiting for the chance to try it! I totally agree with this one though.

Laugh out loud I should say that to my worst enemy!

I love this joke it is so funny. This kid who lives behind me always insults me and I insult him back!

Hey, I can use this on my math teacher, I don't really know why she took her degree in math, she is dumber than my brother.

The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

Wow this is perfect. "Yo mama" jokes are cruel and unfunny. But this? This is comic GOLD!

That is a true burn. The one true burn. BURN! Be it Indian, Chinese or just leant on a soldering iron, it's a BUR!

Laugh out loud this is hilarious!

What if the bloke you say it to says: 'You're good with the chicken's arse, I'm virgin by choice.'?

Hey, I just met you, girl you look crazy, what's brand's your makeup, crayola, maybe?

Lol nice I used it on my principal and he actually laughed, I still got in trouble but it was funny.

YAS LOVE IT! This one is more funny than insulting. Plus basing it off the song Call Me Maybe give this roast extra brownie points. Totally should use this on my friend and see how hard she laughs

Saying this to nearly every girl I know

I'm a girl myself, but I must give this insult credit.

The Contenders

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

This joke is way better than the ther ones. I t's funny it makes sense and it doesn't sound like some three year old isn't trying to make fun of you...

So good! This is probably one of the only comebacks which would actually work when it's not inside your head - reality stinks

That's awesome without being to insulting or hurtful to someones family or looks! I will use this today.

And the comeback for this one is "The same way you ignore the fact that you're a douche? "

Your so weak that you can't rip a piece of paper

This one was so bad that I laughed

Not a good one man

I'm a skinny boi

Me every day lol

You want the stick? Fetch!

Forget the ugly stick. You were born in a ugly forest. Chanel Marimuthu

That's insulting towards dogs!

Please take a break from fooling yourself

This one is thick boi

Sick bruv toats usin that one

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Used it already! Very good insult to use on people, love it you should use it to it messes people up a lot. Amazing!

Haha that's funny it would take a while for the person to catch on! Laugh out loud

its funny! plus.. Who whould say that?

That's from beauty and the beast

You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back

So funny laugh out loud

You were so ugly when you were born that the doctor told your mom what a treasure and your mom said yeah lets bury it

That's hilarious. "Ma'am, I tried to get rid of... it, but the window threw it back." Mother: "Dang it."

Love it used it on my friend he was lost for words! Thanks man

Yo mama so stupid she still can't figure out how to tie her shoes

Maybe because they're Velcro :L

Plus some moms are special needs and they can't. Offensive to all moms

I didn't know how to tie my shoes until I was 11. :(

I'm 9 and can't tie my own shoes. Quite Sad :(

You married Barney

"your birth certifercet is an apology for the condom factory"

You so ugly that santa paid you to kill yourself

I don't get it but I'm sure someone will find it funny...

I love Barney, he is the love of my life. I wish I can marry someone as hot as him.

Oxygen thief

Lol my brother always says I'm a waste of oxygen
I like this one

Good one :D

Your mums so fat not even Dora could explore her

This made me laugh but the others did not really

Dora annoys the crap out of me. Hope I'm not alone

Yo momma so fat she needs Google earth to find her ass hole

Nice one! I hate Dora!

I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

He or she might only be confused because she is stupid enough to be your enemy. You are too good to waste your time on that person.

Very cruel. What if I tell my boyfriend this...

My enemy is going to be so confused when I tell her this


Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality

I'm so gonna use this classy one

I am cracking up with my friend ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Oh yeah, it must be very VERY BIG! But not bigger than my personality, I am the biggest PERSONALITY EVER!

I want to roast a mean person at my school

Did your mum drop you on your head when you were little cause you don't seem that bright

I hear this all the time no you didn't

I personally made this up. It's spool funny


Oh my lord this is just... Brilliant...



My ass smells like cherry coke on a sundernesday because of the time I drove my donkey to work on a twinkie plane... I just said mommy in the bath tub with batman

I started laughing my ass off when all I saw was dumbass. That's a word not a insult

Just classic use of insults since it always leaves your enemy slack dropped of and pissed off. I did this on my mates and they were owned

I got one (breaths in) with a voice like yours I wish I was deaf...

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