Top 10 Funniest InsultsCelestius
The Top Ten
Roast: Put a condom on your head if you want to act like a dick to dress up like one
My classmates are to stupid to get it
I was laughing so loud I couldn't hear the fart coming out of my ass! - Rick201
Nice insult I am going to use on this dudeV 41 Comments
Another one is:Roses are red and violets are blue: I thought I was ugly until I met ya
Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers the middle one's for you - PewDiePie
Roast: Roses are red and violets are blue: I haven't lost my virginity... I can't say the same for you
Lol I am going to use this at school to get my fake friend ps I'm at school!V 90 Comments
Said it to my dad and got grounded
It's funny because it was true. I used to live under a tarp with my bicycle.
Don't work out so willV 19 Comments
Looking at a friend of mine who always takes me for granted like a HUGE JERK and is a horrible unapologetic excuse of a human being (I would call him an animal but I don't want to insult them because I LOVE animals).
Laugh out loud great for my main enemy that lies A LOT
Looking at you, Donald Trump
I know you lie your lips are moving tell me do you think I'm dumbV 19 Comments
Wow this is perfect. "Yo mama" jokes are cruel and unfunny. But this? This is comic GOLD!
What if the bloke you say it to says: 'You're good with the chicken's arse, I'm virgin by choice.'?
That is a true burn. The one true burn. BURN! Be it Indian, Chinese or just leant on a soldering iron, it's a BUR! - PositronWildhawk
Ha ha ha get recked you said that toV 31 Comments
My ass smells like cherry coke on a sundernesday because of the time I drove my donkey to work on a twinkie plane... I just said mommy in the bath tub with batman
I started laughing my ass off when all I saw was dumbass. That's a word not a insult
Just classic use of insults since it always leaves your enemy slack dropped of and pissed off. I did this on my mates and they were ownedV 11 Comments
oh my lol
Shots fired! - Ananya
I'm so gonna use this classy oneV 12 Comments
"your birth certifercet is an apology for the condom factory"
You so ugly that santa paid you to kill yourself
I don't get it but I'm sure someone will find it funny...
Hahahha yes this is the best!V 21 Comments
I love this one totally using it on someone from my school, totally gonna shut them up!
Dude this is actually so good. this is the best roast that I have see in a very long time. too good!
SAVAGEV 13 Comments
Your mama so ugly when she went to a haunted house she came out with a job application
It's so funny
SAVAGE!V 24 Comments
I'm a skinny boi - GleamingShadow
This one was so bad that I laughed - RedTheGremlin
Not a good one man
Me every day lol
I love this one
That's hilarious. "Ma'am, I tried to get rid of... it, but the window threw it back." Mother: "Dang it."
So funny laugh out loudV 17 Comments
Lol usually u say the opposite
This joke is way better than the ther ones. I t's funny it makes sense and it doesn't sound like some three year old isn't trying to make fun of you...
So good! This is probably one of the only comebacks which would actually work when it's not inside your head - reality stinksV 17 Comments
Lol so good
Laugh out loud funny as ever
Well, my mom is a bear, that is why she weighs 1000 pounds. I am half human and half bear.
I always use this when I met my girlfriend's momV 3 Comments
Nice I'll use this one whenever someone goes to roast me ty
That is the most offensive insult I have ever heard.
Oml this is SaVAgE
God doesn't make mistakes. Don't reply that He's not real because I won't believe you. He is real and nothing can tell me otherwise. - RedTheGremlinV 19 Comments
This one is nice comeback lol
Lol this is hilarious
Saying it to my classmate
Man, this is so offensive but it's also at the same time hilarious
Just thought of it
But they need the body parts!V 7 Comments
Gotti - BreakFastBeast2005
Nice one! :P Always wanted to try this, just waiting for the chance to try it! I totally agree with this one though.V 20 Comments
Worst date ever!
I love you man! This is the best come back of all time
So hilarious I can use it on m enemies who have dates and break them upV 2 Comments
I'm gonna say this to my bro!
So funny it brought tears to my eyes
Damn funny! My favorite until now!
Not sure if I should be laughing or sympathysing this guyV 5 Comments
Used it already! Very good insult to use on people, love it you should use it to it messes people up a lot. Amazing!
Haha that's funny it would take a while for the person to catch on! Laugh out loud
THIS ONES ON A JAYJAYS T-SHIRT... ME BROTHER HAS IT...
its funny! plus.. Who whould say that?
It's taking ME a while to catch onV 2 Comments
That's insulting towards dogs!
Plus some moms are special needs and they can't. Offensive to all moms
I couldn't tie my shoes till I was 8. Just don't say that. :(
Maybe because they're Velcro :L
I didn't know how to tie my shoes until I was 11. :(V 1 Comment
This one is thick boi
Sick bruv toats usin that one
Ohh! Major burn! I will have to try this. People always make fun of my pixie cut and the size of my nose so now i, ll always have a comeback!
You mom is so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
I love nature but when I hate someone I wish it left
Ha ha hilarious some of these jokes are so funnyV 9 Comments
YAS LOVE IT! This one is more funny than insulting. Plus basing it off the song Call Me Maybe give this roast extra brownie points. Totally should use this on my friend and see how hard she laughs
Saying this to nearly every girl I know
I'm a girl myself, but I must give this insult credit.V 12 Comments
Oh lol that's way too funny
I love this roast
Definitely gonna use it
Brother told that to me and we laughed togetherV 2 Comments
He or she might only be confused because she is stupid enough to be your enemy. You are too good to waste your time on that person.
Very cruel. What if I tell my boyfriend this...
My enemy is going to be so confused when I tell her this
Nice one! I hate Dora!
LOL LOL LOL
Whoever said Dora annoys the crap outta them don’t worry your not aloneV 6 Comments
English tricky language...
Its: Your so fat that the equator is 20000 time shorter OR 20000 times shorter, not both mate
Are you Australian? You said the word 'mate. ' It's fine if you R. I'm attracted to cute Australians. Forget British accents!
I don't get this
I peed my self of laughter
Lol my brother always says I'm a waste of oxygen
I like this one
Honestly, I don't find this very funny, I have been cleaning my finger nails with a giant knife and you know maybe somebody ran into it, maybe they didn't. People just need to be more careful. YeeeHaaaw
Sounds extremely disturbing and awkward
Lol this is funny but if you actually said that to a cop man are you ever in trouble
That's sick (as in DISGUSTING)V 2 Comments
This insult is very good to use for my enemies, my former best friends and my exes. Ha!
I love this one
Ha Ha! SO FUNNY THIS IS A COMEDY MASTERPIECE!
Love it tooV 2 Comments
I hear this all the time no you didn't
I personally made this up. It's spool funny
I love this bro
I love this one. One time I got into a fight with someone on a field trip and I roasted him in front of like fifty people
This is true just ask my friend kyle he has the same situation as all of you readingV 5 Comments
That's not so great.
That is very poor laugh out loud
I'm gonna stick to the laffy taffy jokes
That is so poor a licious I can't wait to use itV 2 Comments
This is why most women are taking custody of their own kids.
Really? I've heard popsicle jokes funnier
Really. not to be rude bit I've heard better comments than this
So funny I haven't read any funnyer jocks worlds funnyest person
Can't you put an animal more disgusting on there? Like a cow
Funny with a capital F!
Kind of like "I miss you, but my aim is improving. " - usmc650736
I'm doing this to this girl that is always a b*tch to me and my friends she is really fat and ugly and tries to fit in but she can't because she takes up the whole hallway oo burn
You always have that one friend that secretly annoys you.
Good one! I'll use it on this really annoying kid.V 1 Comment
Shut up or I will kill you with one/my 🔪
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store overnight and starved to death
Yo mama so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save the milk, now that is funny
He messed up the cerealV 4 Comments
Oh my lord this is just... Brilliant...
WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?
REEE - GleamingShadow
I am gonna use this on annoying person in my class
Oh lol brill
U mean meh? YAY
Telling that to my dictator teacher. Probably get suspended but what eves. My private school sucks anyway. GO PUBLIC SCHOOLS
I dare you to use this on your mother!
I would not have the balls to say that to my mom...
I would thoughV 2 Comments
I have a rude and obnoxious Turkish boy in my class and he is rude.
Great. I used this as a 'comeback' at school when someone called me ugly.
Your family tree isn't a family tree it's a cactus because they're all pricks
Haga this reminds me of SHAUN BARLETT
Laughed the heck out of me it's so funny!
Too funny I was laughing so hard...
That is an sick burn!
That is just HALIRIASV 1 Comment
How would you hold up your body your legs will brake
I've heard funnier jokes like what is this a grain of salt? Come on. Be more original
What about half an atom? :(
This is an insult, really.😐
I wonder if Chinese people had reacted to this...
Laugh out loud! Fell off my chair!
Best roast EverV 7 Comments
Ughh who would like him
Lol I'm using this because I hate justin bieber especially when he breathes
That's so funny I could fart
I hate who wrote this to him I love justinV 6 Comments
Related ListsTop Ten Funniest Nerdy Insults Top Ten Funniest Movie Insult Scenes Best Insults Top 10 British Insults Greatest Movie Insults
8 years, 351 days old
Top Remixes (12)
2. Your so weak that you can't rip a piece of paper
3. You want the stick? Fetch!
2. Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality
3. You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.
2. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
3. We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
View All 12