Top 10 Funniest InsultsCelestius
The Top Ten
, that is a genius come-back! That is so SMART! Even I wouldn't have thought of that, though I am really bad at comebacks.
Great comeback used it so much at school
I'm using this one on The next person I see I hate
Well I got a joke that will kill you god made rivers god made lakes god made you hell everyone makes mistakes
Roast: Put a condom on your head if you want to act like a dick to dress up like oneV 41 Comments
Another one is:Roses are red and violets are blue: I thought I was ugly until I met ya
Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers the middle one's for you - PewDiePie
Why on earth are you here?! School doesn't allow litter.
Roses are red violets are blue,I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I saw youV 84 Comments
Don't work out so will
Ha ha laugh out loud
Laugh out loud so funny!
So funnyV 17 Comments
Laugh out loud great for my main enemy that lies A LOT
I know you lie your lips are moving tell me do you think I'm dumb
Used it on my bro he got peed off
Looking at you, Donald TrumpV 17 Comments
Wow this is perfect. "Yo mama" jokes are cruel and unfunny. But this? This is comic GOLD!
That is a true burn. The one true burn. BURN! Be it Indian, Chinese or just leant on a soldering iron, it's a BUR! - PositronWildhawk
Laugh out loud this is hilarious!
What if the bloke you say it to says: 'You're good with the chicken's arse, I'm virgin by choice.'?V 31 Comments
My ass smells like cherry coke on a sundernesday because of the time I drove my donkey to work on a twinkie plane... I just said mommy in the bath tub with batman
I started laughing my ass off when all I saw was dumbass. That's a word not a insult
Just classic use of insults since it always leaves your enemy slack dropped of and pissed off. I did this on my mates and they were owned
artV 11 Comments
I'm so gonna use this classy one
I am cracking up with my friend ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Oh yeah, it must be very VERY BIG! But not bigger than my personality, I am the biggest PERSONALITY EVER!
oh my lolV 12 Comments
"your birth certifercet is an apology for the condom factory"
You so ugly that santa paid you to kill yourself
I don't get it but I'm sure someone will find it funny...
Hahahha yes this is the best!V 20 Comments
I love this one totally using it on someone from my school, totally gonna shut them up!
This is so funny I and totally going to use this when my uncles disses me again you wait because this insult will be used. I garden tee you that this is the best insult ever to be found please use it because I am
This is so funny! I am so going to use this on my friends when they're making fun of me again. I'll bet this will make them shut up.
Dude this is actually so good. this is the best roast that I have see in a very long time. too good!V 12 Comments
I love this so much
Laugh out loud so funny
I usually hate yo mamma jokes but this one is decent - Leaftail
SAVAGE!V 21 Comments
Not a good one man
This one was so bad that I laughed - RedTheGremlin
Me every day lol
I'm a skinny boi - GleamingShadow
This joke is way better than the ther ones. I t's funny it makes sense and it doesn't sound like some three year old isn't trying to make fun of you...
So good! This is probably one of the only comebacks which would actually work when it's not inside your head - reality stinks
That's awesome without being to insulting or hurtful to someones family or looks! I will use this today.
Self explanatoryV 16 Comments
So funny laugh out loud
You were so ugly when you were born that the doctor told your mom what a treasure and your mom said yeah lets bury it
Love it used it on my friend he was lost for words! Thanks man
DamnV 14 Comments
Laugh out loud funny as ever
Well, my mom is a bear, that is why she weighs 1000 pounds. I am half human and half bear.
I always use this when I met my girlfriend's mom
Lol so goodV 3 Comments
This one is nice comeback lol
Lol this is hilarious
God doesn't make mistakes. Don't reply that He's not real because I won't believe you. He is real and nothing can tell me otherwise. - RedTheGremlin
Whoever said God isn't real if you were to insult me try to take a guess what finger I'd put up
Everybody makes mistakes even your mum when she forgot condoms
Oml this is SaVAgEV 18 Comments
Man, this is so offensive but it's also at the same time hilarious
Just thought of it
But they need the body parts!
Best combackV 6 Comments
Nice one! :P Always wanted to try this, just waiting for the chance to try it! I totally agree with this one though.
Laugh out loud I should say that to my worst enemy!
I love this joke it is so funny. This kid who lives behind me always insults me and I insult him back!
Nice oneV 19 Comments
I love you man! This is the best come back of all time
So hilarious I can use it on m enemies who have dates and break them up
Worst date ever!
LolV 2 Comments
I'm gonna say this to my bro!
So funny it brought tears to my eyes
Damn funny! My favorite until now!
Lmao best roast ever M8V 5 Comments
Used it already! Very good insult to use on people, love it you should use it to it messes people up a lot. Amazing!
Haha that's funny it would take a while for the person to catch on! Laugh out loud
THIS ONES ON A JAYJAYS T-SHIRT... ME BROTHER HAS IT...
its funny! plus.. Who whould say that?
That's from beauty and the beastV 2 Comments
That's insulting towards dogs!
Maybe because they're Velcro :L
I didn't know how to tie my shoes until I was 11. :(
I'm 9 and can't tie my own shoes. Quite Sad :(
Ohh! Major burn! I will have to try this. People always make fun of my pixie cut and the size of my nose so now i, ll always have a comeback!
You mom is so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
I love nature but when I hate someone I wish it left
Oh my gosh
Someone call the fire department because u just got burned!
Saying this to nearly every girl I know
I'm a girl myself, but I must give this insult credit.
Lol I'm a girl but that's funny
amazingV 11 Comments
He or she might only be confused because she is stupid enough to be your enemy. You are too good to waste your time on that person.
Very cruel. What if I tell my boyfriend this...
My enemy is going to be so confused when I tell her this
Brother told that to me and we laughed together
I love this roast
Definitely gonna use it
Oh lol that's way too funny
good oneV 1 Comment
English tricky language...
Its: Your so fat that the equator is 20000 time shorter OR 20000 times shorter, not both mate
Are you Australian? You said the word 'mate. ' It's fine if you R. I'm attracted to cute Australians. Forget British accents!
I don't get this
I peed my self of laughter
Lol my brother always says I'm a waste of oxygen
I like this one
This made me laugh but the others did not really
Dora annoys the crap out of me. Hope I'm not alone
Yo momma so fat she needs Google earth to find her ass hole
Whoever said Dora annoys the crap outta them don’t worry your not aloneV 4 Comments
Sounds extremely disturbing and awkward
Lol this is funny but if you actually said that to a cop man are you ever in trouble
Honestly, I don't find this very funny, I have been cleaning my finger nails with a giant knife and you know maybe somebody ran into it, maybe they didn't. People just need to be more careful. YeeeHaaaw
That's sick (as in DISGUSTING)V 2 Comments
This insult is very good to use for my enemies, my former best friends and my exes. Ha!
I love this one
Ha Ha! SO FUNNY THIS IS A COMEDY MASTERPIECE!
Love it tooV 2 Comments
I hear this all the time no you didn't
I personally made this up. It's spool funny
I love this one. One time I got into a fight with someone on a field trip and I roasted him in front of like fifty people
This is true just ask my friend kyle he has the same situation as all of you reading
This is the funniest comeback of all time!
I love this broV 5 Comments
That's not so great.
That is very poor laugh out loud
I'm gonna stick to the laffy taffy jokes
I'm sorry but I don't like this😖V 2 Comments
This is why most women are taking custody of their own kids.
Really? I've heard popsicle jokes funnier
Really. not to be rude bit I've heard better comments than this
Can't you put an animal more disgusting on there? Like a cow
So funny I haven't read any funnyer jocks worlds funnyest person
Funny with a capital F!
Kind of like "I miss you, but my aim is improving. " - usmc650736
I'm doing this to this girl that is always a b*tch to me and my friends she is really fat and ugly and tries to fit in but she can't because she takes up the whole hallway oo burn
You always have that one friend that secretly annoys you.
Good one! I'll use it on this really annoying kid.V 1 Comment
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store overnight and starved to death
Yo mama so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save the milk, now that is funny
He messed up the cereal
I have one for u if your dad is gonna acts like a dick would mite as well dress like one.V 3 Comments
Oh my lord this is just... Brilliant...
WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?
REEE - GleamingShadow
I am gonna use this on annoying person in my class
Oh lol brill
U mean meh? YAY
Telling that to my dictator teacher. Probably get suspended but what eves. My private school sucks anyway. GO PUBLIC SCHOOLS
I dare you to use this on your mother!
I would not have the balls to say that to my mom...
I would thoughV 2 Comments
Your family tree isn't a family tree it's a cactus because they're all pricks
Great. I used this as a 'comeback' at school when someone called me ugly.
Haga this reminds me of SHAUN BARLETT
Laughed the heck out of me it's so funny!
Too funny I was laughing so hard...
That is an sick burn!
That is just HALIRIASV 1 Comment
I've heard funnier jokes like what is this a grain of salt? Come on. Be more original
How would you hold up your body your legs will brake
What about half an atom? :(
This is an insult, really.😐
That is so cruel
Lol I'm using this because I hate justin bieber especially when he breathes
I hate who wrote this to him I love justin
Ughh who would like himV 6 Comments
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Top Remixes (12)
2. Your so weak that you can't rip a piece of paper
3. You want the stick? Fetch!
2. Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality
3. You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.
2. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
3. We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
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