Top 10 Funniest Insults

Celestius

The Top Ten

1 You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.

When I see you I think of a plastic bag, because it's disposable.

Hey my grandpa is poor and my daddy was once poor I just wanted ya to know that my grandma died of lack of health insurance then

YES

Her reaction

2 Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Another one is:Roses are red and violets are blue: I thought I was ugly until I met ya

Roses are red violets are blue I got five fingers the middle one's for you - PewDiePie

Roses are red violets are blue faces like your's belong in a zoo, don't worry I'll be there not in a cage but laughing at you.

Lol going to use this on a friend lol

3 Hey, I looked up a hobo in the dictionary and the definition was you

This is amazing

Love it
I can tell my anime
Sorry about my spelling T-T

Said it to my dad and got grounded

Its good

4 We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.

Looking at a friend of mine who always takes me for granted like a HUGE JERK and is a horrible unapologetic excuse of a human being (I would call him an animal but I don't want to insult them because I LOVE animals).

Wow

Laugh out loud great for my main enemy that lies A LOT

I know you lie your lips are moving tell me do you think I'm dumb

5 Dumbass

Shuts people up really fast

I like this one

A classic.

legend

6 The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

Poop poop poop

Wow this is perfect. "Yo mama" jokes are cruel and unfunny. But this? This is comic GOLD!

oh- - NashiTheCreator

That is a true burn. The one true burn. BURN! Be it Indian, Chinese or just leant on a soldering iron, it's a BUR! - PositronWildhawk

7 Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality

That's gone too far

I want to roast a mean person at my school

Fire in the hoes!

I'm so gonna use this classy one

8 You married Barney

"your birth certifercet is an apology for the condom factory"

You so ugly that santa paid you to kill yourself

I don't get it but I'm sure someone will find it funny...

I love Barney, he is the love of my life. I wish I can marry someone as hot as him.

9 Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident

That calm

I love this one totally using it on someone from my school, totally gonna shut them up!

Yes

This is so funny I and totally going to use this when my uncles disses me again you wait because this insult will be used. I garden tee you that this is the best insult ever to be found please use it because I am

10 Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror her reflection walked away

I don't understand you mama jokes. I mean your not insulting the person your insulting their mum. Shouldn't it be 'you' or 'your' instead of 'yo mama'? - Unnamed Google User Remade

Your mama so ugly when she went to a haunted house she came out with a job application

I love this so much

It's so funny
LOL

The Contenders

11 Your so weak that you can't rip a piece of paper

I'm a skinny boi - GleamingShadow

Not a good one man

This one was so bad that I laughed - RedTheGremlin

Me every day lol

12 You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back

It works on a man called eaisah

This is hilarious

So funny

Worked

13 I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

Personally I think

Lol usually u say the opposite

This joke is way better than the ther ones. I t's funny it makes sense and it doesn't sound like some three year old isn't trying to make fun of you...

So good! This is probably one of the only comebacks which would actually work when it's not inside your head - reality stinks

14 Ahhh!!! Run a bear, oh wait that's just your mom

Rude just plain rude

This sucks

Laugh out loud funny as ever

Lol so good

15 Everybody makes mistakes, even God did when he made your face

Yes, everyone makes mistakes

This should be one

love it

YES - NashiTheCreator

16 Oh, I'm sorry did I give you the impression that I wanted your opinion? It won't happen again

Writing this one down. comment if you are too!

This one is nice comeback lol

Lol this is hilarious

YAS I'm using dis

17 You have enough fat to make another human

Saying it to my classmate

Man, this is so offensive but it's also at the same time hilarious

Yup! This got my bully madder than a bull thanks for getting me beaten up! But nice come back ๐Ÿ˜Š

Just thought of it

18 I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.

You so old when I told u to act your age you died

So rude

Nice one

Nice one! :P Always wanted to try this, just waiting for the chance to try it! I totally agree with this one though.

19 Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

Worst date ever!

I love you man! This is the best come back of all time

So hilarious I can use it on m enemies who have dates and break them up

LoL I love this one I'm sooo gonna use it!

20 Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is

The best one here

I'm gonna say this to my bro!

So funny it brought tears to my eyes

Damn funny! My favorite until now!

21 I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Used it already! Very good insult to use on people, love it you should use it to it messes people up a lot. Amazing!

Haha that's funny it would take a while for the person to catch on! Laugh out loud

THIS ONES ON A JAYJAYS T-SHIRT... ME BROTHER HAS IT...
its funny! plus.. Who whould say that?

That's from beauty and the beast

22 You want the stick? Fetch!

Forget the ugly stick. You were born in a ugly forest. Chanel Marimuthu

That's insulting towards dogs!

23 Please take a break from fooling yourself

This one is thick boi

Sick bruv toats usin that one

24 Yo mama so stupid she still can't figure out how to tie her shoes

Maybe because they're Velcro :L

Plus some moms are special needs and they can't. Offensive to all moms

I couldn't tie my shoes till I was 8. Just don't say that. :(

I didn't know how to tie my shoes until I was 11. :(

25 I think you need a licence to be that ugly

Your face looked/looks like a butt I bet it smells very badly

The best one yet

Oh lol that's way too funny

I love this roast
Definitely gonna use it

26 Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Sick!

Ohh! Major burn! I will have to try this. People always make fun of my pixie cut and the size of my nose so now i, ll always have a comeback!

You mom is so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

I love nature but when I hate someone I wish it left

27 Hey, I just met you, girl you look crazy, what's brand's your makeup, crayola, maybe?

DAMN

YAS LOVE IT! This one is more funny than insulting. Plus basing it off the song Call Me Maybe give this roast extra brownie points. Totally should use this on my friend and see how hard she laughs

Saying this to nearly every girl I know

amazing

28 Your mums so fat not even Dora could explore her

Nice one! I hate Dora!

LOL LOL LOL

This made me laugh but the others did not really

Whoever said Dora annoys the crap outta them donโ€™t worry your not alone

29 I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

He or she might only be confused because she is stupid enough to be your enemy. You are too good to waste your time on that person.

Very cruel. What if I tell my boyfriend this...

My enemy is going to be so confused when I tell her this

30 Your so fat that the equator is 20000m times shorter than your belt

English tricky language...

Its: Your so fat that the equator is 20000 time shorter OR 20000 times shorter, not both mate

Are you Australian? You said the word 'mate. ' It's fine if you R. I'm attracted to cute Australians. Forget British accents!

I don't get this

I peed my self of laughter

31 Oxygen thief

Lol my brother always says I'm a waste of oxygen
I like this one

Good one :D

32 It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails, with a hunting knife, and he ran into me, backwards, 17 times.

Honestly, I don't find this very funny, I have been cleaning my finger nails with a giant knife and you know maybe somebody ran into it, maybe they didn't. People just need to be more careful. YeeeHaaaw

Sounds extremely disturbing and awkward

Lol this is funny but if you actually said that to a cop man are you ever in trouble

That's sick (as in DISGUSTING)

33 Your birth certificate is an apology letter from a condom factory

This insult is very good to use for my enemies, my former best friends and my exes. Ha!

I love this one

Ha Ha! SO FUNNY THIS IS A COMEDY MASTERPIECE!

Love it too

34 Did your mum drop you on your head when you were little cause you don't seem that bright

I hear this all the time no you didn't

I personally made this up. It's spool funny

35 Your family tree is a cactus because everyone on it is a prick.

I love this bro

I love this one. One time I got into a fight with someone on a field trip and I roasted him in front of like fifty people

This is true just ask my friend kyle he has the same situation as all of you reading

This is the funniest comeback of all time!

36 Yo mama so poor she had to get her clothes from a dumpster

That's not so great.

That is very poor laugh out loud

I'm gonna stick to the laffy taffy jokes

That is so poor a licious I can't wait to use it

37 โ€œMy husband and I divorced over religious differences.โ€He thought he was GOD and I didn't.

This is why most women are taking custody of their own kids.

38 Your so lazy that you ask someone to come to your house to change the tv channel

Really? I've heard popsicle jokes funnier

Really. not to be rude bit I've heard better comments than this

39 Bunny kisser

So funny I haven't read any funnyer jocks worlds funnyest person

Can't you put an animal more disgusting on there? Like a cow

Funny with a capital F!

40 Yo mama so stupid she ate cereal with a knife

Amazing

Yo mama is so stupid that she cried over spilt milk- chanel Marimuthu

Yo mama so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save the milk, now that is funny

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store overnight and starved to death

41 I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.

These are some good roast

Kind of like "I miss you, but my aim is improving. " - usmc650736

I'm doing this to this girl that is always a b*tch to me and my friends she is really fat and ugly and tries to fit in but she can't because she takes up the whole hallway oo burn

You always have that one friend that secretly annoys you.

42 Fartpooh

Oh my lord this is just... Brilliant...

WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?
REEE - GleamingShadow

43 I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

haha lol

I am gonna use this on annoying person in my class

44 People who are stupid, are one of you

Oh lol brill

bad

U mean meh? YAY

45 Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?

Telling that to my dictator teacher. Probably get suspended but what eves. My private school sucks anyway. GO PUBLIC SCHOOLS

I dare you to use this on your mother!

I would not have the balls to say that to my mom...

I would though

46 I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

I think of my bro at the zoo but I love him

I have a rude and obnoxious Turkish boy in my class and he is rude.

Great. I used this as a 'comeback' at school when someone called me ugly.

Your family tree isn't a family tree it's a cactus because they're all pricks

47 Yo mama so dumb she got knocked down by a parked car

Laughed the heck out of me it's so funny!

Too funny I was laughing so hard...

That is an sick burn!

That is just HALIRIAS

48 If ugliness were bricks then you would be the Great Wall of China

I wonder if Chinese people had reacted to this...

Laugh out loud! Fell off my chair!

This is pretty everyone's lol of the day!

I literally just dropped my apple chips all over the floor

49 Your so weak that you can't hold a grain of salt

How would you hold up your body your legs will brake

I've heard funnier jokes like what is this a grain of salt? Come on. Be more original

What about half an atom? :(

This is an insult, really.๐Ÿ˜

50 Grow a backbone. Then you can be human.

I used this to be to girl in my class and everyone laughed

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