Top Ten Funniest Jokes In the Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

The Top Ten
1 I'll just nip off and shoot myself - restaurant at the end of the universe
2 We are waiting the arrival of the lemon dipped napkins - restaurant at the end of the universe

They have been waiting for 900 years

3 Definition of plutonic rock - restaurant at the end of the universe

Hopefully it's not on earth

4 Vogon poetry - the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy
5 Thou to a small lump of green putty on my armpit one mid summer morning - the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy
6 Startibartfast - life universe and everything and hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

That's a hilariously stupid name

7 Eddie - almost the full saga

Come on who wouldn't laugh

8 Marvin's attitude - everywhere in the series

He is one depressed robot

9 The sperm whale that mysteriously appeared and lived a very short life
10 The creation of the universe turned out to be a bad idea
The Contenders
11 Ford and Arthur's off-topic conversation about whelks - Life, the Universe, and Everything
12 So long and thanks for all the fish - the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

I don't get it. I'm sure that's what the dolphin's message was. Also, the song in the beginning of the hit-and-miss film was pretty catchy yet funny of seeing the dolphins can fly to space.

I still and crying with laughter

13 The environmentalists getting shot - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
14 Man proving God's nonexistence - Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"The argument goes something like this: 'I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing.' 'But,' says Man, 'the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.' 'Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. 'Oh, that was easy,' says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white, and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing."

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