Top Ten Funniest Jokes

The Top Ten Funniest Jokes

1 It's garbage day? Awe they made a special day just for you!

That was good

Not funny worst joke ever I have heard

LOL my classmates died laughing

It's so funny I soiled myself

2 Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen

It's better than all the other jokes.

Ha! In yo face sucka


You get in a wreck.

3 Whats brown and sticky? A stick!

I hear it every time

I love this joke people always don't get the question at first  but when I say the answer they laugh at themselves for thinking that it was something else - sweetmadi11

I told that joke to my sister and she laughed out loud after realizing it! - SachiyoHasegawa

I hate this joke

I thought something else

4 Why was the cat scared of the tree? Because it barks

Its brown it barks so funny!

Get it tree bark? - sweetmadi11

This joke is oak

Good humor

5 Why are ghosts bad to have at a sports event? Because they boo!

Wow so good boo

I hate it

Don't get it

I love this joke!
its saying that ghosts don"t cheer, they "BOO! "

6 Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop!

That has made me laugh so much!


It’s is #not funny

7 A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

I laughed out loud for this one - benisforawesome

Alright I would never add this I would never even think about this but this is hilarious - OneWayStreet

This is the best joke I have ever heard

I didn't make this joke who added it?! - sweetmadi11

8 What is a witch with an itch? Without a "W"

Really dumb

At frst I didn't get it but know I do, It is hard foe me to say this because I'm a positive person but it's weird


Ha! love it

9 Where do cows go on dates? To the moo-vies

So lame I love it

Eh kinda good


wow... - Spicygarlic

10 What did the moon say to the young couple? Hey you two should kiss!

So dumb

That’s from ASDF movies

Umm...I’m sorry to say it’s kinda weird :/

The Contenders

11 The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

No fair he gets to bring a pet to school I wanna bring a pet to he is a little tiny cry baby ooh get burnt

Those parents doe

That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. - MattAffterburner

That is so funny. I’m going to use that

12 What is big and yellow, comes in the morning to brighten mom's day?....the school bus!

so funny


13 Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts!

That sounds like a good and bad joke

I said this joke for J day at my school. 😆 lol

14 Broccoli: Hey! I look like a tree! Mushroom: Wow! I look just like an umbrella! Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?

Should've been a sausage

HAHA! - MattAffterburner


That was funnyy

15 If a clown farts, does it smell funny?

Laugh out loud that is fuuunnnyy

Very funny LOL!

16 What's green and has wheels? GRASS! I lied about the wheels...

Great joke I love it but you should change it I really thought grass had wheels...

Unreliable narrator makes it unique

Hahaahahaa wait, I thought grass had wheels

Game Grumps - EliHbk

17 Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing

My printer is not that big

Oh, Jeez!

18 Why did the racist chicken cross the road? That wasn't a road. That was the border!


19 What do you call a fish with no eyes?...... Blind

That is not funny I am true/good friends with blind friends it makes/made me and my blind friends very angry

20 Why do don't give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go

My mum laughed at this funny kid joke when I told her

Uhhh oh I get it, its funny

what the

21 I dated this disabled chick and when she broke up with me she took my dog. I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

I cried so much it's amazing

Sick, but funny as hell

22 What do you call a game console you just broke up with? An X-Box!

#gamer for life

23 Yo mama so stupid she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer
24 How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast you idiot(s).
25 What do you call a bicycle that is in the corner? Two-tired

It is lame


26 What state is the best state to drink soda? MINISODA
27 Why did the chicken cross the road? To die.

That's horrible and funny

28 Why can't dinosaurs clap? Cuz they're DEAD!

Very funny

29 Yo mama's head is so big she has a fivehead instead of a forehead.
30 At a disco. He: Wow! What a cute girl like you doing in the corner for? She: I had to fart.

aka ME

31 What key can't fit in a door. A monkey

It's so funny I'm going to die

32 What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take a while to get hard cause I just got laid

Very funny but very smart

33 Yo mama so old she though KFC was a basketball team!

That's funny

34 What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? A paraplegian in a house fire

Damn. - 0w0uwu

35 Husband brings child all the way from kindergarten today. “He’s been crying the whole way back. Is he sick or something?” Husband asks Wife. “No,” says Wife. “He’s just trying to tell you he’s not our Frankie.”

My dad has forgotten my little sister a couple times. So relatable. - MattAffterburner

This is so funny! Laugh out loud!

36 There's only two things wrong when you play,... Your hands
37 How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
38 Why didn’t the toilet roll cross the road?? Cuz it got stuck in the crack!

No the ass crack was too big


39 How do dinosaurs pay their bills? With Tyrannosaurus checks!
40 Why are Canadians so smart? They always get "ay's!"
41 Yo mama so broke when I asked her where’s the bathroom she said 10 bottles to the left.
42 What’s the place in the world with the most facts? The Fact-ory.
43 What is the difference between Auuuuuugh! Boom and boom Auggggh!....................falling from the first floor and falling from the tenth floor
44 MAC is very annoying. Not the computer by Apple, the team.
45 Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was a fungi!
46 What kind of cigarettes do cats smoke? Fortuna
47 Why don't I laugh at jokes? Because I don't get them
48 Why didn’t the toilet roll cross the road?? Because it’s got stuck in the crack
49 The doctor: you only have ten The patient: ten weeks years?? Doctor: nine
50 Yo mama so UGLY,J ason had to give her his mask!
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