Top Ten Funniest Jokes

sweetmadi11

The Top Ten

1 It's garbage day? Awe they made a special day just for you!

I'm so using that

Not funny worst joke ever I have heard

It's so funny I soiled myself

Super rude hate it

15 Comments
2 Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen

You get in a wreck.

funny

Ha! In yo face sucka

It's better than all the other jokes.

3 Comments
3 Whats brown and sticky? A stick!

its bad

I thought something else

I hate this joke

I hear it every time

2 Comments
4 Why was the cat scared of the tree? Because it barks

Good one!

Good humor

Its brown it barks so funny!

This joke is oak

1 Comment
5 Why are ghosts bad to have at a sports event? Because they boo!

I love this joke!
its saying that ghosts don"t cheer, they "BOO! "

I hate it

Don't get it

6 Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop!

BEST JOKE I EVER HEARD!

That has made me laugh so much!

It’s is #not funny

7 A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

This is the best joke I have ever heard

Lol ok that's awesome, I mean a man needs to now right?

Crack up

Haha

9 Comments
8 What is a witch with an itch? Without a "W"

At frst I didn't get it but know I do, It is hard foe me to say this because I'm a positive person but it's weird

Really dumb

Same

Ha! love it

9 Where do cows go on dates? To the moo-vies

WOW SO GOOD

funny

So lame I love it

Eh kinda good

2 Comments
10 What did the moon say to the young couple? Hey you two should kiss!

That’s from ASDF movies

Umm...I’m sorry to say it but...it’s kinda weird :/

The Newcomers

? Why did the condom jump into the trolley? Because that family’s baby was annoying!

The Contenders

11 The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. - MattAffterburner

Those parents doe

That’s good

12 What is big and yellow, comes in the morning to brighten mom's day?....the school bus!

HaHa

so funny

13 Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts!

That sounds like a good and bad joke

I said this joke for J day at my school. 😆 lol

14 Broccoli: Hey! I look like a tree! Mushroom: Wow! I look just like an umbrella! Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?

That was funnyy

Should've been a sausage

HAHA! - MattAffterburner

Great

15 If a clown farts, does it smell funny?

Laugh out loud that is fuuunnnyy

Very funny LOL!

16 What's green and has wheels? GRASS! I lied about the wheels...

Unreliable narrator makes it unique

Great joke I love it but you should change it I really thought grass had wheels...

Hahaahahaa wait, I thought grass had wheels

Game Grumps - EliHbk

17 Why did the racist chicken cross the road? That wasn't a road. That was the border!

It's THE ONLY ONE I UNDERSTAND LOL

18 What do you call a fish with no eyes?...... Blind

That is not funny I am true/good friends with blind friends it makes/made me and my blind friends very angry

19 I dated this disabled chick and when she broke up with me she took my dog. I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

I cried so much it's amazing

Sick, but funny as hell

20 Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing

My printer is not that big

21 What do you call a game console you just broke up with? An X-Box!

#gamer for life

22 Why do don't give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go

what the

Uhhh oh I get it, its funny

23 Yo mama so stupid she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer
24 How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast you idiot(s).
25 What do you call a bicycle that is in the corner? Two-tired

It is lame

Lol

26 What state is the best state to drink soda? MINISODA
27 Why did the chicken cross the road? To die.

That's horrible and funny

28 Why can't dinosaurs clap? Cuz they're DEAD!

Very funny

29 Yo mama's head is so big she has a fivehead instead of a forehead.
30 At a disco. He: Wow! What a cute girl like you doing in the corner for? She: I had to fart.

aka ME

31 What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take a while to get hard cause I just got laid

Very funny but very smart

32 Yo mama so old she though KFC was a basketball team!

That's funny

33 Husband brings child all the way from kindergarten today. “He’s been crying the whole way back. Is he sick or something?” Husband asks Wife. “No,” says Wife. “He’s just trying to tell you he’s not our Frankie.”

My dad has forgotten my little sister a couple times. So relatable. - MattAffterburner

This is so funny! Laugh out loud!

34 There's only two things wrong when you play,... Your hands
35 How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
36 Why didn’t the toilet roll cross the road?? Cuz it got stuck in the crack!

No the ass crack was too big

huh?

37 What key can't fit in a door. A monkey

It's so funny I'm going to die

38 Yo mama so broke when I asked her where’s the bathroom she said 10 bottles to the left.
39 What’s the place in the world with the most facts? The Fact-ory.
40 Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was a fungi!
41 Why don't I laugh at jokes? Because I don't get them
42 The doctor: you only have ten The patient: ten weeks years?? Doctor: nine
43 How do dinosaurs pay their bills? With Tyrannosaurus checks!
44 Why are Canadians so smart? They always get "ay's!"
45 What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? A paraplegian in a house fire

Damn. - 0w0uwu

46 What is the difference between Auuuuuugh! Boom and boom Auggggh!....................falling from the first floor and falling from the tenth floor
47 MAC is very annoying. Not the computer by Apple, the team.
48 What kind of cigarettes do cats smoke? Fortuna
49 Why didn’t the toilet roll cross the road?? Because it’s got stuck in the crack
50 Yo mama so UGLY,J ason had to give her his mask!
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List StatsCreated 30 Jul 2015
Updated 23 Aug 2019

500 votes
52 listings
4 years, 139 days old

Top Remixes

1. It's garbage day? Awe they made a special day just for you!
2. Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen
3. Whats brown and sticky? A stick!
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