Top 10 Funniest Misheard Lyrics From Metal Songs

 Misheard song lyrics are called mondegreen - it's a result of near-homophony that gives it a new meaning, often funny.

The Top Ten Funniest Misheard Lyrics From Metal Songs

1 Gimme food, Gimme fries! Gimme salad on the side! - Fuel, Metallica

Haha, I love this one! Gimme food, Gimme fries! Gimme salad on the side! - Userguy44

Sound's like an overly aggressive order at the McDonald's drive thru

Ha! I bet James probably orders this at fast food restaurants!

Actual Lyric: Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire. - Metal_Treasure

2 Hamster! A Dentist! Hard porn! Steven Seagal! - Wishmaster, Nightwish

Actual Lyric:
Master! Apprentice! Heartborne! 7th Seeker! - Metal_Treasure

I sing this text for years. I donť know right text.

3 You try to take his balls - Symphony of Destruction, Megadeth

At first I thought it was that. I also thought the end of holy wars was "mercy you know they'll take my balls away"

And until reading the actual lyric I thought it was "you try to take his boss" - Skullkid755

Lol, I thought this was the actual lyrics. - Userguy44

Actual lyric:
You try to take its pulse. - Metal_Treasure

I heard it and then couldn't unhear it

4 Masturbate, masturbate, rub your muscle, don't be late! - Halloween, Helloween

Actual: Masquerade, Masquerade, Grab Your Mask and Don't Be Late

Holy crap, this is funny - KingSlayer93316

5 Fear of the duck, fear of the duck - Fear of the Dark, Iron Maiden

PsychoStick did a song based on this called"Quack kills". Pretty funny from a great band - RustyNail

No, it's fear of the duck - LeiaSkywalker

I can't unhear it...
Actual Lyric: Fear of the Dark
But the chorus with misheard lyrics completely makes sense:
"Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a constant fear that something's always near
Fear of the duck, fear of the duck
I have a phobia that someone's always there" - Metal_Treasure

6 Raking the lawn! Raking the lawn! - Breaking the Law, Judas Priest

I don't know if it was you, Metal Treasure, or someone else that added the photo, but that is one of the funniest things I've seen on the site in a while! - Gg2000

Thanks. It was me who added this image. You can see more on my list Funniest Metal Music-Related Images. Have fun! - Metal_Treasure

All I have to say is thank you. Brilliant. - truckturner

Actual Lyric: Breaking the Law - Metal_Treasure

Powder in your ears much? - Kevinsidis

7 I've got B.O., to see the truth - Hallowed Be Thy Name, Iron Maiden

B.O. - body odor. Actual lyric: I've gone beyond to seek the truth - Metal_Treasure

8 Santa Claus will pee tonight - Neon Knights, Black Sabbath

Funnier than the gimme food one! - PhoenixAura81

Actual Lyric: Sail across the sea of lights - Metal_Treasure

9 Controlling bastard, I'll be your mustard! Mustard! - Master of Puppets, Metallica

McDonalds: What do you want on your burger?
James Hetfield: Mustard! Mustard!

This is what James Hetfield asks for on his burger. - MattAffterburner

Actual Lyric: Come crawling faster, obey your master! Master! - Metal_Treasure

Despite being one of my favorite songs of all time, these misheard lyrics are hilarious! I wonder who thought of that and I wonder if that spawned any memes. - PhoenixAura81

10 I like juice, finish your juice, feel the vitamin substance - Rational Gaze, Meshuggah

Actual Lyric:
Our light induced, image of truth, filtered blank of its substance. - Metal_Treasure

This lyric hurts my mind of being misheard like that.Wax in your ears much or powder? - Kevinsidis

The Contenders

11 Anal sex! - Dyer’s Eve, Metallica

Actual lyric:
Innocence! - Metal_Treasure

Ooh, yeah...*squirts hand sanitizer* - NightmareCinema

12 My name's Tony. I've got some bacon - Die by the Sword, Slayer

...
Catch dozens, if you want
My name's Tony, I've got some bacon
Torrent lies from the pain
Regulate and watch me Mike soon
Only worth of the law
Gunshot
Gunshot
Seeking watches, oh Albus
Spicy salt fluids me
try to escape, but death's on my hand
Lies from the laboratory exist
Her I come, salmon's done
The hell will bewitch you
We do know herds to the sky
And listen to for steel
Gunshot
Gunshot - Alkadikce

Actual Lyric:
Mindless tyranny, forgotten victims. - Metal_Treasure

This ruined the song for me, but it’s still funny - KingSlayer93316

13 I'm baking a lemon inside you! - Glass Shatters, Disturbed

Disturbed are NOT exactly a metal band - Metal_Treasure

Disturbed is NOT metal...

It's hard rock, guys. Chill out - LeiaSkywalker

Wow. Just wow.

HOW DO YOU HEAR THIS?! - KingSlayer93316

14 F*** this wh**e - Voices, Dream Theater

Actual Lyric: Thought disorder. - Metal_Treasure

15 As I watch Jethro Tull - Ride the Lightning, Metallica

Actual lyric: As I watch death unfold.
(it's really funny because in the 1989 Grammy Awards, Metallica lost out to Jethro Tull in the category hard rock and heavy metal, although Jethro Tull are neither metal nor hard rock, LOL. - Metal_Treasure

16 Harold be thy name - Hallowed Be Thy Name, Iron Maiden

Life down there is just a strange illusion
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Harold be Thy name - Metal_Treasure

17 Watch me fading, I'm losing, all my lipsticks falling into darkness - These Walls, Dream Theater

Actual lyric: Watch me fading, I'm losing, all my instincts falling into darkness - Metal_Treasure

How is it possible to mishear 2000s LaBrie? - AdamDestructorJr.

18 He's on a man and he moans. She sees the change in him - FullMoon, Sonata Arctica

I love FullMoon by the way. I'm definitely going to listen to some more Sonata Arctica. - PhoenixAura81

Actual lyric: He's not a man anymore. She sees the change in him - Metal_Treasure

19 Next thing you know, they'll take my dogs away - Holy Wars... The Punishment Due, Megadeth

I just listened to that. I heard "Next thing you know, they'll take my dolls away".. - Gg2000

This is also funny and maybe even funnier than "dogs", in the context of thrash metal, haha, dolls. Dave Mustaine is crying for his dolls! - Metal_Treasure

I truly thought that was the lyric for some time - RustyNail

Actual lyric: Next thing you know, they'll take my thoughts away. - Metal_Treasure

20 "Centipede of heaven / God share the eyes of the night" - Stargazers, Nightwish

Actual lyrics:
"Tragedienne of heavens / Watching the eyes of the night" - Martin_Canine

21 There's no bread, lemony cake! - Bastille Day, Rush

I don't think this song is metal and it shouldn't be on this list - Metal_Treasure

Rush sucks - LeiaSkywalker

22 Burning hard, seducing queen! - Fuel, Metallica

Actual lyric: Burning hard, loose and clean! I have no Idea why I thought of that RIGHT when I was just listening to this song. I added this by the way. - PhoenixAura81

Woah, this increased significantly. Should I make a meme about this? - PhoenixAura81

23 Turn off the garden gnomes! - Fuel, Metallica

Actual lyric:
Turn on beyond the bone!
I don't know if I have bad hearing or am just plain foolish, but the first time I heard it, I genuinely thought he was saying "turn off the garden gnomes". Weird. - Gg2000

Seems this song has no single line that hasn't been misheard! Such a great song for this particular list, LOL. - Metal_Treasure

When I heard Fuel for the first time, I heard “burning hard, seducing queen” instead of “burning hard, loose and clean”. - PhoenixAura81

24 Tighten the turkey around your neck - Postmortem, Slayer

Wait, so you're saying these aren't the actual lyrics? - LeiaSkywalker

Actual lyric: Tighten the tourniquent around your neck - Metal_Treasure

25 Bring me a doughnut to the sauna - Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter, Iron Maiden

Actual lyric: Bring me your daughter to the slaughter - Metal_Treasure

26 Dance by the Headcrusher - Headcrusher, Megadeth

Yeah imagine that, someone dancing by something that will kill them!

Actual lyric: Death by the Headcrusher

La la la, I'm dancin

Funnier than No # 1!

27 Kill Aquaman - Kill on Command, Vio-Lence

Actual lyric: Kill on Command

28 So let it be written, Celine Dion - Creeping Death, Metallica

Actual lyric: "So let it be written, so let it be done" - Metal_Treasure

29 Take the bean killer, psycho on your bicycle - Painkiller, Judas Priest
30 Devastate them, techno prisoners, cremate them - Take No Prisoners, Megadeth

Actual lyric: Devastate them, take no prisoners, cremate them - Metal_Treasure

31 Dreams of dragon's fire and of baked apple pie - Enter Sandman, Metallica

Actual Lyric:
Dreams of dragon's fire and of things that will bite. - Metal_Treasure

32 Valhalla, the liver runs! - Valhalla, Blind Guardian

Actual Lyric: Valhalla, deliverance! - Metal_Treasure

33 I'm your terrible lover, tell me there's no other - Turbo Lover, Judas Priest

Actual lyric: I'm your turbo lover, tell me there's no other. - Metal_Treasure

34 If you want the world, lose your mind - The World is Yours, Arch Enemy

Actual lyric: If you want the world, use your mind - Metal_Treasure

35 I’ve paid for yummy steaks - No More Sorrow, Linkin Park

Good song but this is NOT metal.

Anyways
Actual Lyric:
"I've paid for your mistakes! "

"Facepalm"
"Sigh""
THIS SONG NOR LINKIN PARK ARE METAL!

36 This is sandpit turtle! - Sempiternal by Bring Me The Horizon

Funny but Bring Me The Horizon aren't a metal band - Metal_Treasure

Metal treasure do u mean used to be? - XxSEVEREDHUMANITYxX

37 Why do they always censor porn - BYOB, System of a Down

Cool but the song isn't metal - Metal_Treasure

Japanese for example.

Actaul lyric: why do they always send the poor - ass23

38 I'm your pain when you can't feel self-control - Sad But True, Metallica

I always heard it as "Sand Patrol." I guess I'm not the only one, cause I've seen jokes about it on the internet. - Gg2000

Actual lyric:
I'm your pain when you can't feel
Sad but true - Metal_Treasure

39 Give me two, give me five, give me a dollar 'n' fifty five! - Fuel, Metallica

Actual Lyric:
Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire. - Metal_Treasure

40 Gimme Foo, Gimme Fah, Gimme Dabadjabadzhah! - Fuel, Metallica

Actual Lyric:
Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire. - Metal_Treasure

This is the point he ran out of ideas. - AdamDestructorJr.

No. You are wrong. Many people have heard something similar, me including. It's a pretty unintelligible line and it gave me a hard time during the first several listens. Until I decided to read the lyrics. - Metal_Treasure

Accurate - LeiaSkywalker

Gimme Dabadjabadzhah!? Wut? - BorisRule

41 Hey, hey, I'm your wife and I no longer care - Sad But True, Metallica

Actual lyric: Hey, hey, I'm your life and I no longer care - Metal_Treasure

42 I'm your pain when you can't feel sand patrol - Sad But True, Metallica

Actual lyric:
I'm your pain when you can't feel
Sad but true - Metal_Treasure

43 Carrots that wander never fade in rain and you're hard, and Jesus bought my sorrow, carrots that wander hiding Eminem in a lamb - Amaranth, Nightwish

Quite possibly my favorite misheard lyric ever - 445956

Wow! That's a whole conspiracy theory! - Metal_Treasure

44 I'm Addicted to Cats - Addicted to Chaos Megadeth

I'm Addicted to Chaos

45 I'm a lion! I'm a vinyl! I'm a Skittle! I'm a beetle! - Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana

How about funniest misheard lyrics from Grunge songs.
or even rap.

Okay Nirvana is clearly not metal but whatever...

Nirvana metal? Oh... - Metal_Treasure

46 Gimme Fool, Gimme Rah! Gimme what I sard! - Fuel, Metallica

I made that up! - BorisRule

Thanks for admitting you made that one up. But it sounds pretty close to what James actually says, LOL - Metal_Treasure

47 Iron Maiden metal - Electric Eye, Judas Priest

Actual lyric: I'm made of metal. I have heard this song a lot of times but it wasn't until now I misheard the lyrics like this. - Alkadikce

Thanks, Captain Obvious! - BorisRule

48 Pizzas, but who's paying? - Megadeth, Peace Sells

The level of misheard potential in this is as high as Fuel. - JoLeKosovo

49 It's domination, pushed into minivans - Domination, Pantera

What? How does "living hell" sound like minivans? - LeiaSkywalker

Actual Lyric: It's domination, pushed into living hell. - Metal_Treasure

50 The liquid is in your throat, all pasteurized - The Lotus Eater, Opeth

Actual lyric: The liquid is in your throat for hopeless delight. - Metal_Treasure

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