Funniest and Stupidest Signs

PositronWildhawk

The Top Ten

1 At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.

Yes, I was quite shocked when I saw this online. What a thing to put on a sign! - PositronWildhawk

2 On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard - bell out of order.)

So much for a repair shop

Really funny! - mpKarthik

3 At a Laundry Shop: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?

I was laughing so hard that I almost choked. The manager would not like to see that! - PositronWildhawk

Love this. Sarcasm at its finest! Laugh out loud! Thanks for this list - SO FUNNY! :D - Britgirl

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4 Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
5 Alligator mating season. If attacked, fake orgasm.
6 Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
7 Quicksand warning: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
8 Outside a second-hand store: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

Ha o my god this is a great list - Toucan

9 On Family Planning Clinic Window: PLEASE USE REAR ENTRANCE

I must say that this one is just plain ludicrous in its hilarity. - PositronWildhawk

10 At a Used Car Lot: Second hand cars in first crash condition.

The Contenders

11 Beware Jumping Gay Walrus
12 In a men's restroom in a restaurant: We aim to please. You aim too, please.
13 In an office building washroom: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

I think you missed the point of this. You wouldn't have go to another floor, you would actually have to pee on the floor around the toilet - that's what makes this funny.

This sign's so hilarious, and yet so unfortunate, it must cause quite an a-rumour!
Laugh out loud! Aren't I funny?! - PositronWildhawk

Haha this is very unfortunate! Ohh my I would be so so so so pissed because then you have to go all the way to a different floor!

14 Lost Cat Sign: Reward If You Find Him And Don't Return Him
15 On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)

At the side entrance, there's probably a sign saying "Oh, ye of little faith! " - PositronWildhawk

16 Any persons except players caught collecting golf balls will be prosecuted and have their balls removed

Now that is just plain hilarious! Knocked my socks clean off!

I'm gonna find a different golf course - N64Dude

17 Caution: This sign has sharp edges

"Also, in other semi-related news, the bridge is out up ahead" - GLaDOS - xandermartin98

18 No Signs Allowed

Did you have a permit for that one? - PositronWildhawk

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19 SHCOOL
20 Road Sign: Water on road during rain

I have this picture of this sign! It's so funny and cheesy!

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21 Notice on Gym: LARGE CUSTOMER PARKING AROUND THE BACK
22 Notice on Window of Sofa King (Northampton, England): OUR PRICES ARE SOFA KING LOW

We are the proud owner of one said sofa - but not before we had a good laugh about their slogan! Their other slogan is: our customers are Sofa King happy! Gotta love the Brit SOH! - Britgirl

23 Jumble Sale Crochet Stall: If you need service, you'll find me out the back making babies.

Oh my God! This... This is genuine?!?! - PositronWildhawk

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24 A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands.
25 At Restaurant Toilet: Strictly No Trespassing; Visitors Shall Be Shot. Survivors Shall Be Shot Again.

This sign was probably put up in Texas. - ethanmeinster

26 In a Photo Shop Window: ENLARGE YOUR PRINCE HERE

Haha! I'd ask mine to be done within the hour! ! - Britgirl

27 On rubbish Bin: OUT OF ORDER!
28 Notice on Door of Baby Changing Facilities: PARENTS WELCOME TO CHANGE YOUR BABY HERE.
29 In an entrance: no entrance
30 Notice on Railway Platform: Please stand away from the platform edge or risk being sucked off!

I've often wondered why so many chavs stand so close to the platform edge... It's obviously because they can't read! - Britgirl

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31 Corporate Manager's Memo After a Meeting Discussing Layoffs: For those who are still here next month, the organization morale-boosting picnic is still on
32 At a zoo: Do not go over this fence or else animals will eat you and that will make them sick. Thank you.
33 Smokers: Our Planet/Beach is not your ashtray. Keep your butts in your pants!
34 Lost Children Will Be Be Given an Espresso and a Free Puppy

Its in Tennessee. when I saw it, I laughed out loud!

35 No Celery Phones
36 Always Open: Closed

I'm confused. Is open or closed? - N64Dude

37 A Sign In a Parking Lot : Entrance Only Do Not Enter

You just told to enter you stupid sign - N64Dude

38 Notice Thank You for Noticing This New Notice . Your Notice Has Been Noted .

If you noticed, then noticing was rewarding for you.

39 A Sign That Has Rock Marks: Notice Please Do Not Throw Rocks at This Sign . Thank You .
40 On a Road: Men 140 . Woman 35
41 People: Dogs Must Be On a Leash at All Times . Please Clean Up After Your Dog . Dogs: GRRR Bark Bark Woof GRRRRRR Bark

Dogs can't read you stupid sign - N64Dude

42 A Car Wrecked On the Side of a Road: Thank You for Driving Carefully Through the Village
43 Oh No You Do Not. You Have Things to Do Get Off the Internet
44 A Person Drew a Bridge: Draw Bridge
45 Above a Store: If It's In Stock We Have It!
46 At a Pool: Sandals Only. Strictly Enforced No Pants Allowed
47 On a Train That Has a Sticker That Rubbed Off : Please Pee On Floor
48 Beware of Safety
49 Above an Ice Cream Case: Please Do Not Tap On Glass It Scares the Ice Cream
50 Street Sign In Southwark, London: Commit No Nuisance
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List Stats

61 listings
4 years, 278 days old

Top Remixes

1. At a Laundry Shop: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?
2. Outside a second-hand store: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
3. In an office building washroom: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
Britgirl
1. Alligator mating season. If attacked, fake orgasm.
2. On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard - bell out of order.)
3. Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Metal_Treasure
1. At a Laundry Shop: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?
2. At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.
3. Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
PositronWildhawk

WRemix

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