Funniest and Stupidest Signs

The Top Ten

1 At a Laundry Shop: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?

I was laughing so hard that I almost choked. The manager would not like to see that! - PositronWildhawk

Love this. Sarcasm at its finest! Laugh out loud! Thanks for this list - SO FUNNY! :D - Britgirl

Loved all of the list xcept the indecencies... Nice! - HezarioSeth

2 At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.

I DIED SEEING THIS! No joke I think I opened my mouth wider than any other time in my life

Yes, I was quite shocked when I saw this online. What a thing to put on a sign! - PositronWildhawk

3 Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
4 Outside a second-hand store: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

Ha o my god this is a great list - Toucan

5 On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard - bell out of order.)

So much for a repair shop

Really funny! - mpKarthik

6 Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
7 In an office building washroom: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

I think you missed the point of this. You wouldn't have go to another floor, you would actually have to pee on the floor around the toilet - that's what makes this funny.

This sign's so hilarious, and yet so unfortunate, it must cause quite an a-rumour!
Laugh out loud! Aren't I funny?! - PositronWildhawk

Haha this is very unfortunate! Ohh my I would be so so so so pissed because then you have to go all the way to a different floor!

8 Quicksand warning: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

Uh oh! - Firemist

9 On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)

At the side entrance, there's probably a sign saying "Oh, ye of little faith! " - PositronWildhawk

10 On Family Planning Clinic Window: PLEASE USE REAR ENTRANCE

I must say that this one is just plain ludicrous in its hilarity. - PositronWildhawk

The Contenders

11 At a Used Car Lot: Second hand cars in first crash condition.
12 Any persons except players caught collecting golf balls will be prosecuted and have their balls removed

Now that is just plain hilarious! Knocked my socks clean off!

I'm gonna find a different golf course - N64Dude

13 Alligator mating season. If attacked, fake orgasm.
14 Beware Jumping Gay Walrus


15 Notice on Window of Sofa King (Northampton, England): OUR PRICES ARE SOFA KING LOW

We are the proud owner of one said sofa - but not before we had a good laugh about their slogan! Their other slogan is: our customers are Sofa King happy! Gotta love the Brit SOH! - Britgirl

16 Notice on Railway Platform: Please stand away from the platform edge or risk being sucked off!

Britgirl, you are a filthy girl. And funny!

I've often wondered why so many chavs stand so close to the platform edge... It's obviously because they can't read! - Britgirl

17 No Signs Allowed

Talk About Irony!

Did you have a permit for that one? - PositronWildhawk

18 Elevator is Out for Service. Please Use Elevator.
20 On rubbish Bin: OUT OF ORDER!
21 In a men's restroom in a restaurant: We aim to please. You aim too, please.
22 Caution: This sign has sharp edges

"Also, in other semi-related news, the bridge is out up ahead" - GLaDOS - xandermartin98

23 In an entrance: no entrance
24 Lost Cat Sign: Reward If You Find Him And Don't Return Him
25 Road Sign: Water on road during rain

I have this picture of this sign! It's so funny and cheesy!

Who the hell thought of this? - N64Dude

27 Jumble Sale Crochet Stall: If you need service, you'll find me out the back making babies.

Oh my God! This... This is genuine?!?! - PositronWildhawk

P.W: as genuine as you see my name. I had a look out back (just out of curiousity, you understand)! I found an elderly lady sitting in a chair, surrounded by cotton and wool balls...making crochet dollies! When I mentioned her notice, she had a wicked gleam in her eyes. She said, "It brought YOU in, didn't it? " She should try for next years' Apprentice! - Britgirl

28 A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands.
29 At Restaurant Toilet: Strictly No Trespassing; Visitors Shall Be Shot. Survivors Shall Be Shot Again.

This sign was probably put up in Texas. - ethanmeinster

30 In a Photo Shop Window: ENLARGE YOUR PRINCE HERE

Haha! I'd ask mine to be done within the hour! ! - Britgirl

31 Notice on Door of Baby Changing Facilities: PARENTS WELCOME TO CHANGE YOUR BABY HERE.
32 Corporate Manager's Memo After a Meeting Discussing Layoffs: For those who are still here next month, the organization morale-boosting picnic is still on
33 At a zoo: Do not go over this fence or else animals will eat you and that will make them sick. Thank you.
34 Smokers: Our Planet/Beach is not your ashtray. Keep your butts in your pants!
35 Lost Children Will Be Be Given an Espresso and a Free Puppy

Its in Tennessee. when I saw it, I laughed out loud!

36 No Celery Phones
37 Always Open: Closed

I'm confused. Is open or closed? - N64Dude

38 A Sign In a Parking Lot : Entrance Only Do Not Enter

You just told to enter you stupid sign - N64Dude

39 Notice Thank You for Noticing This New Notice . Your Notice Has Been Noted .

If you noticed, then noticing was rewarding for you.

40 A Sign That Has Rock Marks: Notice Please Do Not Throw Rocks at This Sign . Thank You .
41 On a Road: Men 140 . Woman 35
42 People: Dogs Must Be On a Leash at All Times . Please Clean Up After Your Dog . Dogs: GRRR Bark Bark Woof GRRRRRR Bark

Dogs can't read you stupid sign - N64Dude

43 A Car Wrecked On the Side of a Road: Thank You for Driving Carefully Through the Village
44 Oh No You Do Not. You Have Things to Do Get Off the Internet

Not trying to offend people... but this is funny.

45 A Person Drew a Bridge: Draw Bridge
46 Above a Store: If It's In Stock We Have It!
47 At a Pool: Sandals Only. Strictly Enforced No Pants Allowed
48 On a Train That Has a Sticker That Rubbed Off : Please Pee On Floor
49 Beware of Safety
50 Above an Ice Cream Case: Please Do Not Tap On Glass It Scares the Ice Cream
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