Top 10 Funniest Ways to Beat Up Donald Trump

To compensate for my offensive comment on Top 10 Things That Would Happen If Donald Trump Became President, I have decided to make a list dedicated to just beating him up, NOT KILLING HIM. These items are just intended to beat him up in the funniest way possible without murdering him. I hope you find the list funny.

The Top Ten

1 Dump a truckload of Donald Trump piñatas onto him

Hell yes! It's basically saying, "Look, Trump, you're narcissism and bad attitude is coming back to haunt you! " - Elric-san

I say give him a one-way ticket to Syria... - DieGedankenSindFrei

This list rules


2 Have Rolf's from Ed, Edd, n Eddy farm animals stampede over him

Or at least a guy who looks like him for realism.

Bwahahaahahaa. this list is awesome - PeeledBanana

Rolf: Victor, we have trespassers!
Me: Wilfred, you too!
Ed: Chickens!
Me: Now how do I do that trick again (crack my knuckles loudly)?
Animals: (animals go on a stampede and run over Donald Trump).
Trump: I've just been Trump-eded! But my daddy gave me a small loan of a million dollars! - ModernSpongeBobSucks

3 Donald Trump calls Patrick Star tubby and Patrick Star goes Super Saiyan on him

Patrick: Tubby? Grr! Nobody! Calls me! Tubby! Ahhh! I am the Super Saiyan! Son Patrick! I should take you and push you somewhere else! Because mayonnaise IS an instrument! You took my one and only dignity! Now I'm gonna starve! - ModernSpongeBobSucks

Make it the next episode of SpongeBob please - KingSlayer93316

This made me laugh. I would pay so much to see it.

I seriously need to see this. - Powerfulgirl10

4 Have several anime characters beat him up

Any Fullmetal Alchemist character would be enough to beat him up.

I would like to see this! Is Yuno Gasai going to beat up Donald Trump with over 9000 anime characters on her side? I just don't wan to see Pico or Sekai or Makoto from bad series.-Vestalis

You thought it was a weeaboo who posted that anime comment on Top 10 Reasons Why Donald Trump Shouldn't Win the 2016 Presidential Election. But it was me, ModernSpongeBobSucks! That's right! Let's have over 9000 anime characters beat up Donald Trump! - ModernSpongeBobSucks

5 Courage the Cowardly Dog screams so loud that Donald Trump's body begins malfunctioning and beating himself up like Patrick Star did

Just make sure to make Courage watch a horror movie first. Then make Trump hit himself in a frying pan when he starts to beat himself up. - Powerfulgirl10

Ear drums do not work like that... But... That would be awesome. - Fandom_Lover

Now for Super Smash Bros. For Nintendo 3DS and Wii U! Courage Scares Up A Fight! Courage will scream like a Super Saiyan and make corn cobs come out of Donald Trump's ears as he starts beating himself up! - ModernSpongeBobSucks

*claps* - funnyuser

6 Chase him around while trying to hit him with a toilet plunger

I would so do this because I hate Donald Trump! Get him with the plunger! LOL

I need a plunger right now. Trump deserves this. - Powerfulgirl10

My method would be to stick a bunch of plungers to him - KingSlayer93316

Can I cover the plunger in spikes? - RoseWeasley

7 Kirby turns into Hypernova Kirby and sucks up a dumpster truck to exhale at Donald Trump

Please someone animate this! - Powerfulgirl10

good idea - Fatty5000

Kirby! Kirby! Kirby!
Hy-per nova!
He'll beat up-a!
A Trump-a!
Trump really does suck-a!
Dumpster Truck-a!
In Kirby's Trump Beat Down-a! - ModernSpongeBobSucks

8 Whack him with jumbo-sized corn cobs

For me, I would dual wield those corn cobs like Kirito from Sword Art Online. I'd be like, "Cornburst Pop! " Donald Trump's hair looks like corn and should really get shucked. But then Donald Trump would be bald! LOL! - Puga

For me, I would dual wield those corn cobs like Kirito from Sword Art Online. I'd be like, "Cornburst Pop! " Donald Trump's hair looks like corn and should really get shucked. But then Donald Trump would be bald! LOL! - ModernSpongeBobSucks

9 Hit him with a frying pan

I'll take the biggest one I can find and use all my strength to knock his brain out of his head. - Powerfulgirl10

Most straight-forward way to do it I guess. - KingFab

Let's have Truffles from Chowder do it for us! - ModernSpongeBobSucks

You can do that in PUBG - VeganTurtle

10 Spank him with a rowing oar

Powerfulgirl10 it will nothappen trumps mommy is dead - ihatetrump

Donald: But Mommy, I didn't really mean that I would make a border between Mexico and the U.S. *cries as he gets spanked in the butt with the oar*
Donald's Mom: Shut up you big baby! I am highly disappointed in you. Go to your room! You're grounded!
Please make this happen! - Powerfulgirl10

The Contenders

11 Have Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders punch both sides of his cheeks

My two favorite 2016 presidential candidates beating up my least favorite 2016 presidential candidate. Perfect. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

Yes make this happen! - Powerfulgirl10


You have a little bit of intelligence for hating trump but not as much as a normal person for hating bernie and hillary - ihatetrump

12 Madeline and Pepito Install a Barney error in his Brain
13 With the Infinity Gauntlet
14 Smack his hair with a wet, dirty mop that's filled with rotten potato wedges

His hair looks like it was taken from a mop like how SpongeBob got a mop for a wig in Wigstruck. Bet Samurai Jack could wield that mop like a boss! After all, he needs to wipe off that corn smell he has of his. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

What hair? - MontyPython

15 Have a kid kick him in the balls real hard

Good job to the person who added this here! - ModernSpongeBobSucks

That kid kicked balls of Donald Trump - Hoxton

Can I be the person to kick him in the balls? I'll make sure to wear extra sharp cleats, too. - Powerfulgirl10

Yes great idea - Fatty5000

16 Beat him to death with a chainsaw!
17 Chuck Norris beats him up

Dude yes. This needs to be higher. - Cesium

(Evill laugh)

18 Shave his hair
19 Punch him
20 Strap him to the front of a Jeep and use him to run over a field of pumpkins

I had to say a jeep, because Donald Trump would be too big for a motorcycle. I was originally going to say a field of cacti, but I thought it was too cruel. Still, it would be fun to see Trump get smashed into pumpkins! - ModernSpongeBobSucks

I like this idea. Definitely brings out the orange in him. - Cesium

Yeah he is fat - Fatty5000

Jeep Driver: Oh look Donald Trump sign our autographs
Donald Trump: Oh really, for a small loan of dollars!
Jeep Driver: I'll strap him on the jeep(drives to a field of pumpkins
Donald Trump: Oh mommy I just went boom boom
(Donald Trump gets hit by pumpkins)

21 Spank him with a belt

Trump is a racist idiot - ihatetrump

Donald: Mexicans SUCK!
Donald's Mom: That's it! You're getting spanked! *pulls Trump's pants down and spanks him with a belt extremely hard*
Donald: YEOWWEE! *screams and cries*
Donald's Mom: Go to your room! You're grounded... again! - Powerfulgirl10

22 Have Godzilla step on him

Or have him breathe blue fire and burn him. - Powerfulgirl10

Godzilla Will Burn Down The Trump Wall

23 Perform a Falcon Punch on him
24 Sew his lips to Hillary Clinton's mouth

Don't hurt hillary! - ihatetrump

Perfect way to punish both of them! - RoseWeasley

25 Beat him with a metal spiked jagged piece of metal

Just so we're clear, I did NOT add this item. I hate Donald Trump, but this is a bit more brutal rather than funny. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

Um, that might be a biiit too extreme. - Elric-san

26 Try to pull his hair out real hard

You mean his toupee? I guess since there's still some numbskulls voting for him, I can sell his toupee and make a fortune. But I think a snapshot of the action would be more valuable. - Cesium

27 Have Metallica and Megadeth fans beat him up
28 Get Mike Tyson to beat him up

Or Mohammed Ali, if he was still alive - KingSlayer93316

Mike Tyson lost his talent so he's a good pick - Maddox121

29 Have Donald the Scottish Twin (from Thomas the Tank Engine) run him over
30 Throw a tree stump at him

I guess you CAN stump the Trump, after all. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

31 Bash him on the head with a kendo sword real hard

Lol, I love how you keep calling him Ronald McDonald Trump.

Ronald McDonald Trump: Ow! Darr! Ow! Darr! Ow! Darr! Ow! Darr! Ow! - ModernSpongeBobSucks

32 Scoop his eyeballs out with spoon

I think this is a LITTLE too extreme, don't you think? - ModernSpongeBobSucks

I think this is going a little too far... But I like it! - Powerfulgirl10

Of course it's not too extreme

It's not that extreme, but I like it.-Vestalis

33 Power up your hand then slap him in the face
34 Use karate on him
35 Use taekwondo on him
36 Squeeze his nose real hard
37 Wrestle him

He is related to WWE. Lets see who would win - TeamRocket747

38 Hit him with furniture right on the head real hard
39 Beat him in a boxing match

I'll win for sure! He's so weak! - Powerfulgirl10

40 Beat him with a ruler

Obama: Mr. Trump, come to the front of the classroom NOW!
Trump: But Mr. Obama, I swear it wasn't me who drew a wall on the border between the U.S & Mexico on the map!
Obama: NOW.
Trump: *begrudgingly comes to the front of the classroom*
Obama: *smacks him with a ruler* - RoseWeasley

Teacher:Trump, you're in detention!

41 Sling a full cash bag at him

I would sling a bag of feathers at him instead (was going to say rocks, but that’s a little too far) - KingSlayer93316

42 Give him a brick, claim it's for the border wall, then "accidentally" drop it on his foot

I can already imagine Ronald McDonald Trump screaming at the top of his narcissistic lungs Tom & Jerry-style. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

Like when Patrick Star kept dropping a box on Man Ray’s foot? - KingSlayer93316

Random guy: Hey Trump, I have a brick for the wall
Trump: Perfect

(The wall falls into his foot)
Trum[: Owww! You meanie! You broke my foot. Mommy call the ambulance I can walk Waaa

43 Make Sticks the Badger beat him up

Yes! She can literally wipe him out along with the others! - Powerfulgirl10

Nice Picture

Trump: Hello there little animal do you want to help me build my wall?
Sticks: I'm not a little animal, Bitch!
(Throws boomerang into Trump's nuts and then punches him real hard in the face)
Trump: OW!
Sticks: that's for messing with me you big nut!

44 Shave his head and pour acid onto his face

Oh my Lord... - Powerfulgirl10

45 Shred his nose with a cheese grater

Watch his nose shoot blood at you. - Powerfulgirl10

No, I don't want Trump blood all over my nice shirts. - RoseWeasley

46 Make Donald Duck fight him

Haha, yes!

That would be hilarious! 😂

47 Make Ren Hoek beat him with an oar

That is awesome!

48 Scooby Doo bites him in the balls


49 Have Gordon The Big Engine Run Over Donald Trump
50 Kick him

It's a common beating method but I would do it. - TeamRocket747

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