Top Ten Funny (Adult Humour) Nursery Rhyme Parody Lyrics

The Top Ten

1 Do you know the muffin man? Yes, I know the muffin man. Bit of an unpleasant bloke.

This one, luckily, your children won't understand. So feel free to spread it, if you're a daring one.

2 Humpty Dumpty s*at on the wall. Humpty Dumpty fell on his balls.

All the Kings' horses and all the Kings' men, couldn't... okay, probably best we leave it here.

3 Hey, diddle, diddle, in private please.

What is the dish doing with the spoon?

4 Tinkle, tinkle, little star, aim for where I put my glass.

5 Jack with Jill got up too ill and thought "who had chlamydia?"

6 London Bridge is falling down, from under my lady.

7 How much is that doggy in the window? Oh, wait, that's my mum.

So someone enslaved your mom and then sold her as a dog at the pet store?

8 Here we go down in the Mulberry bush...

I'll never be able to hear my nephew sing this again. It used to sound so cute and innocent...

9 Rock-a-bye-baby-want-a-new-one?

10 Doctor Foster went to Gloucester in a shower of rain. He stepped in a puddle, and then did a widdle, and never went there again.

The Contenders

11 Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, back to hell.

12 Daddy finger mommy finger… why mommy? They’re both guys.

Hint: look at the shape of the finger.

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