Top Ten Funny But Unlikely Things for a Kindergarten Teacher to Say About a Student

The Top Ten Funny But Unlikely Things for a Kindergarten Teacher to Say About a Student

1 I'm sure s/he'll be a sex magnet when s/he's 14.

I believe you... - 3DG20

Laugh out loud! That teacher is really perverted, or maybe weird.

2 S/he can solve triple integral calculus, but really, s/he has no understanding of curriculum enforcement.

No it couldn’t. It can’t even count to 10. - 3DG20

3 S/he's great fun to hit with a cane.

I know, right? - 3DG20

Well, if that teacher says that in front of a crowd of parents, s/he will land into a big trouble. - Kiteretsunu

4 In spite of endless screaming, refusing to participate in group activity, and a few minor accidents involving an ice pick, we get along.

Hey, at least the teacher is being positive! - 3DG20

Oh, happy days! I can't wait until my little boy/girl gets out of there! - PositronWildhawk

5 I love how your child hates over-discipline.

Don’t all Kindergarteners do though? - KingSlayer93316

6 I get a bit short-tempered, so I may have inadvertently taught your child how to swear.

And that’s the last sentence that teacher said while being a Kindergarten teacher - KingSlayer93316

Don’t worry, it was gonna learn to swear at some point of its life anyway. - 3DG20

7 I show them my favourite Miley Cyrus videos, and s/he just loves to join in!

Not appropriate for kids. The teacher could get fired for that. But still, it would be a little funny… - BlueTopazIceVanilla

Ew! I’d rather make them listen to a death metal song from Dora... - 3DG20

8 It's a life skill that I'm teaching your child. Screaming causes injuries.
9 I shouldn't laugh at your child, but I do.
10 Sorry I ran over your kid.

Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ve wanted to run it over for a long time. - 3DG20

The Contenders

11 She's kind of a bitch

Uh... I kind of live with it. You think I don’t know that already? - 3DG20

12 Your child may one day be the next Pewdiepie. I'm sure you're proud.

What an honour! - 3DG20

Parents: what's Pewdiepie?
Teacher: (shows the Pewds videos where he electric shocks himself every time he swears)
Parents: I want to cancel the rest of my child's enrolment here and move to somewhere with no wi-Fi connection

13 Move bitch get out the way

This is true they tell kids to "MOVE IT! " all the time :(

14 What? I was responsible? Oh, s***!
15 If You Keep Swinging On Your Chair Your Brain Will Pop Out

I have believe it or not been told this or something similar.

Oh well. It barely even has a brain. - 3DG20

16 Your daughter's a slut

Thanks Sherlock... - 3DG20

Said to a parent - ihatetrump

17 He/she's gonna fail kindergarten.

We had two- one had autism I think and had trouble reading, the other was a whiny girl.

18 He/she is such a Caillou when he/she whines
19 He/she is such a crybaby
20 He/she is laughing like a Tickle Me Elmo
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