Top Ten Grossest Charles Boyle Quotes and Dialogue from Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Charles Boyle is a lovable character who never intends to creep people out, yet somehow always manages to say something outlandish and unpleasant out of something innocent. Here is a list of the funniest of all such instances.
The Top Ten
1 "Mhmm, texting. That's the most intimate thing you can do to a lover with your fingers. Other than washing their hair." [S2 E12]
2 Jake: "I'm talkin' real fluffy ones." Charles: "Radical. I bet you're an awesome fluffer. I bet you fluff those other riders right out of their biker shorts. I can picture you as a teenager fluffing all of New York City!" [S4 E15]
3 Charles: "I told you, Jake, I'll do anything to perk up my little man." Jake: "You gotta know how gross that sounds in your underwear." [S4 E10]
4 Terry: "You're the primary, you're in charge. Take Diaz and Peralta." Charles: "Nice! My fantasy threesome...of cops on a case." [S1 E4]
5 Jake: "Time for me to get out there and spread my-" Charles: "Legs." Jake: "Get out there and spread my legs?" Charles: "Well, either way-" Jake: "No not either way, only 'wings'!" [S2 E3]
6 Boyle: "And then, a skywriter's gonna write Charles loves V. I couldn't afford her full name." Jake: "First of all, Charles loves V means something very specific, and I'm gonna guess not what you're intending." [S1 E17]
7 Jake: "Let's go free an innocent woman." Charles: "Nice. My dreams are coming true. You and me getting my lady off together." [S3 E3]
8 *punches Jake* "There's more where that came from...I got real wet mouth." [S2 E1]
9 Jake: "Eeeuurgh! Fish?! Fish donuts, Boyle?! What is wrong with you?" Boyle: "It's takoyaki. I'm drowning my sorrows in octopus balls." [S3 E3]
10 "I got this Flo-Tech performance polo with moisture-wicking technology. Kept me dry all morning. And a dry boy... is a smart boy." [S4 E11]
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