Top 10 Horribly Dated Things About Certain Classic Video Games

xandermartin98

The Top Ten

1 Possibly gaming's all-time worst case of tank controls - Resident Evil
2 Having to have two separate copies of both the game and the Playstation itself just to play one-on-one local multiplayer - Wipeout 2097
3 Mode 7 graphics - Super Mario Kart
4 Not being able to crouch, aim diagonally or even aim down in midair - Metroid
5 Navigating 3-dimensional cardboard cutouts of Lego people across pre-rendered classical Renaissance paintings of areas - Final Fantasy VII
6 The note-hitting detection only working properly on the EXACT types of TV and Playstation that the games were designed for - Parappa The Rapper

I meant to say the first game and UmJammer Lammy specifically - xandermartin98

7 Lack of a map system - Metroid
8 The checkpoints not saving the boxes that Crash broke during the stage portions leading up to them - Crash Bandicoot
9 The incredibly overdone and cheesy platforming and puzzle aspects of the game, both of which often require infuriating amounts of trial-and-error - Half-Life

Ruins an otherwise great game - DatRabidSlushie

10 Mario's walking sound effects that each sound like ear-gratingly high-pitched, pixelated fart squeaks - Donkey Kong

The Contenders

11 Completely throwing mechanical gameplay quality out the window in favor of sheer world size - Fallout 3

Why actually aim your gun when VATS is almost the only way to do it without mods - xandermartin98

12 Every single level looking exactly the same - Super Mario Bros.
13 Random enemy encounters almost every split second - Earthbound Zero (Mother)
14 Every single scientist sharing the exact same "black/white" character models with each other - Half-Life
15 Complete lack of any actual strategic elements whatsoever to the gameplay - Doom
16 Pyramid Breasts (and tank controls) - Tomb Raider
17 Incredibly long and unskippable cutscenes for almost every single attack - Final Fantasy VII
18 The English translation of the dialogue containing such priceless gems as "this guy ARE sick" - Final Fantasy VII
19 Only one maze, stationary fruit, and also all four ghost types sharing the exact same behavior pattern with each other - Pac-Man
20 Water levels - Super Mario Bros
21 Every single room looking and basically being exactly the same, with virtually no properly indicative variations between them - Metroid
22 Lack of save rooms - Metroid
23 Even more tank controls - Super Smash Bros 64
24 Hyrule Field being completely barren and empty even during the Young Link portion of the game - The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
25 The music style - Parappa the Rapper
26 The pink Varia Suit - Metroid
27 The moon-landing jump physics - Cave Story
28 No copy ability hats - Kirby's Dream Land
29 No balancing between different elemental types of Pokemon - Pokemon Red
30 The save system - Crash Bandicoot
31 The sprites - Pokemon Red
32 The Metroid battles - Metroid 2: Return of Samus
33 The infamous "Power Of Rock" cliche - Um Jammer Lammy
34 The photoshopped motion-capture actor sprites for the in-game characters - Mortal Kombat Trilogy
35 The humor - Conker's Bad Fur Day
36 Still more awful tank controls - Goldeneye 64
37 Impossibly rubberbanded enemy racer AI - Super Mario Kart
38 The combat system having no depth other than "stand and wait for the enemy to attack" - The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
39 Almost-but-not-quite Mode 7 graphics - Donkey Kong Country
40 Each game taking about an hour at most to finish - Parappa The Rapper
41 No hallucinogenic, LSD-induced, rainbow-colored backgrounds for enemy encounters - Earthbound Zero (Mother)
42 Complete inability to bomb-jump properly - Metroid
43 Outright lack of actual music for at least 80% of the entire game - Metroid 2: Return of Samus
44 Lack of distinct crowbar-hitting sound effects - Half-Life
45 Sprite/Polygon Mix art style - Doom
46 Extremely, painfully obviously MIDI-assembled music - Final Fantasy VII
47 Many of the things that the sequels allowed you to do (including side specials) are missing - Smash Bros 64
48 Only twelve playable characters, one single-player mode and exactly zero Crazy Hands - Smash Bros 64
49 Literally complete lack of character-roster balancing altogether - Smash Bros 64
50 The iconic paper-cutout art style not even being properly executed by the games themselves - Parappa The Rapper
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100 votes
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1 year, 54 days old

Top Remixes

1. Possibly gaming's all-time worst case of tank controls - Resident Evil
2. Having to have two separate copies of both the game and the Playstation itself just to play one-on-one local multiplayer - Wipeout 2097
3. Mode 7 graphics - Super Mario Kart
xandermartin98

WRemix

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