Top 10 Horribly Dated Things About Certain Classic Video Games


The Top Ten

1 Possibly gaming's all-time worst case of tank controls - Resident Evil
2 Having to have two separate copies of both the game and the Playstation itself just to play one-on-one local multiplayer - Wipeout 2097
3 Mode 7 graphics - Super Mario Kart
4 Not being able to crouch, aim diagonally or even aim down in midair - Metroid
5 Navigating 3-dimensional cardboard cutouts of Lego people across pre-rendered classical Renaissance paintings of areas - Final Fantasy VII
6 The note-hitting detection only working properly on the EXACT types of TV and Playstation that the games were designed for - Parappa The Rapper

I meant to say the first game and UmJammer Lammy specifically - xandermartin98

7 Lack of a map system - Metroid
8 The checkpoints not saving the boxes that Crash broke during the stage portions leading up to them - Crash Bandicoot
9 The incredibly overdone and cheesy platforming and puzzle aspects of the game, both of which often require infuriating amounts of trial-and-error - Half-Life

Ruins an otherwise great game - DatRabidSlushie

10 Mario's walking sound effects that each sound like ear-gratingly high-pitched, pixelated fart squeaks - Donkey Kong

The Contenders

11 Completely throwing mechanical gameplay quality out the window in favor of sheer world size - Fallout 3

Why actually aim your gun when VATS is almost the only way to do it without mods - xandermartin98

12 Every single level looking exactly the same - Super Mario Bros.
13 Random enemy encounters almost every split second - Earthbound Zero (Mother)
14 Every single scientist sharing the exact same "black/white" character models with each other - Half-Life
15 Complete lack of any actual strategic elements whatsoever to the gameplay - Doom
16 Pyramid Breasts (and tank controls) - Tomb Raider
17 Incredibly long and unskippable cutscenes for almost every single attack - Final Fantasy VII
18 The English translation of the dialogue containing such priceless gems as "this guy ARE sick" - Final Fantasy VII
19 Only one maze, stationary fruit, and also all four ghost types sharing the exact same behavior pattern with each other - Pac-Man
20 Water levels - Super Mario Bros
21 Every single room looking and basically being exactly the same, with virtually no properly indicative variations between them - Metroid
22 Lack of save rooms - Metroid
23 Even more tank controls - Super Smash Bros 64
24 Hyrule Field being completely barren and empty even during the Young Link portion of the game - The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
25 The music style - Parappa the Rapper
26 The pink Varia Suit - Metroid
27 The moon-landing jump physics - Cave Story
28 No copy ability hats - Kirby's Dream Land
29 No balancing between different elemental types of Pokemon - Pokemon Red
30 The save system - Crash Bandicoot
31 The sprites - Pokemon Red
32 The Metroid battles - Metroid 2: Return of Samus
33 The infamous "Power Of Rock" cliche - Um Jammer Lammy
34 The photoshopped motion-capture actor sprites for the in-game characters - Mortal Kombat Trilogy
35 The humor - Conker's Bad Fur Day
36 Still more awful tank controls - Goldeneye 64
37 Impossibly rubberbanded enemy racer AI - Super Mario Kart
38 The combat system having no depth other than "stand and wait for the enemy to attack" - The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
39 Almost-but-not-quite Mode 7 graphics - Donkey Kong Country
40 Each game taking about an hour at most to finish - Parappa The Rapper
41 No hallucinogenic, LSD-induced, rainbow-colored backgrounds for enemy encounters - Earthbound Zero (Mother)
42 Complete inability to bomb-jump properly - Metroid
43 Outright lack of actual music for at least 80% of the entire game - Metroid 2: Return of Samus
44 Lack of distinct crowbar-hitting sound effects - Half-Life
45 Sprite/Polygon Mix art style - Doom
46 Extremely, painfully obviously MIDI-assembled music - Final Fantasy VII
47 Many of the things that the sequels allowed you to do (including side specials) are missing - Smash Bros 64
48 Only twelve playable characters, one single-player mode and exactly zero Crazy Hands - Smash Bros 64
49 Literally complete lack of character-roster balancing altogether - Smash Bros 64
50 The iconic paper-cutout art style not even being properly executed by the games themselves - Parappa The Rapper
8Load More
PSearch List

Related Lists

Top Ten Badly Dated Yet Classic Video Games Best Nu Metal Bands That Went Horribly Unrecognized Child Stars Gone Horribly Wrong Top 10 Ways in Which Certain Classic Video Games Were Actually Very Bad Influences on Gaming Top Ten People Richie Sambora Has Dated

List StatsCreated 22 Sep 2017
Updated 23 Sep 2017

100 votes
158 listings
2 years, 81 days old

Top Remixes

1. Possibly gaming's all-time worst case of tank controls - Resident Evil
2. Having to have two separate copies of both the game and the Playstation itself just to play one-on-one local multiplayer - Wipeout 2097
3. Mode 7 graphics - Super Mario Kart


Error Reporting

See a factual error in these listings? Report it here.