Top Ten Humorous Book Titles and Their Authors

Britgirl

The Top Ten

1 A Guide to the Police Force - Laura Norder

Includes Q&A with 26 guys and gals named Bobby:).

2 How to Get Rich - Milly O'Naire

Musta been the Lick O' The Irish:).

3 Mathematics Made Easy - Adam Upp

Edited by Cal Q. Leighton.

Lol - TheAlbinoWolf

"Edited by Cal Q. Leighton"... Very clever! :). - Britgirl

4 Breaking the Law - Kermitt A. Krime
5 How to Stay Youthful - Jerry Attrik

Comes with free portrait. Perfect for that loft apartment.

6 The Armed Heist - Robin Banks

Brassiere artillery courtesy of Stick'em Up, Ltd.

7 Chest Pains - I. Koffalott

Must be Flemish.

8 A Study of Male Impotence - Dick Withers

lol

Haha this is great. Not at all flaccid. It woke up my wilting mood and raised a huge laugh! :D - Britgirl

Ha! Brilliant:).

9 The Hypochondriac. - I. Amill

Forward by Dick Hertz. Expert consultation by Drs. Dewey, Fleecem and Howe.

10 Allegiance to the Queen - Neil Downe

Hmm... Maybe s'not so dull for the ol' gal, after all:)).

The Contenders

11 O.J. Guilty or Not Guilty? - Howard I. Know

Go 'head. Take a guess. It's Kato speculate.

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12 Hair Care - Dan Druff

You covered almost everything, you clever, witty genius, you - covered everything except his head. He still has snow of the roof. Probably why the fires have gone out that was once the first furious flames of marriage :). - Britgirl

On a scale of one to ten, the guy's a flake. Head and shoulders above the rest. Snows in July. Brings the confetti to the weddin'. His cloud shows up on radar. He's a walkin' particle beam. A regular crop-duster. Scratches like a hound, coats everything around.(I ferget anything? :).

13 Bubbles in the Bath - Ivor Wynn D. Bottom

Hadda mumble this three times 'fore it hit. Sweet! (relatively speakin':)).

14 The Russian Deluge - Ivan Yurkinoff
15 Torn Kimona - Komana Wannaleiu

From the land of perpetual eruption.

16 The Tiger's Revenge - Claude Ballz
17 The Family Jewels - I.B. Underwood
18 Into the Unknown - Virge N. Johnson

A long...story with a big, pulsating end? - Britgirl

Originally titled, Voyage to the Bottom of the Bottom. A climactic story about a steely tube full of seamen, christened NaughtyLass.

19 Breastfeeding Hell - Nora Tittsoff

Lawdy, lawd! Take couple jugs (o' shine) t'take the bite out that sucka:).

20 In Cue for the Loo - I.M. Holden

How provincial of me. Meant "queue." Truly embarrassin'.

21 Confessions of a Streetwalker - Debbie Dunne-Saylers
22 Ye Olde Remedies - Sir Paregoric of York

"We know our blustering claims seem iffy, but warrant this potion will give ye a stiffy."

23 Broken Promises - Hyman Pierce

Haha broken promises..
.ah...first time for...everything :). - Britgirl

24 What Men Really Want in a Woman - Norma Stick

Funny. Always thought that was what a woman really wanted in a woman:).

25 Drunk as a Skunk - Manny Schottz
26 It's All the Thames to Me - Duncan Rivers

Know ya don't pronounce it that-a-way over there. Ah cheated:).

Still really clever though. Oh, and funny! :D - Britgirl

27 The Daredevil Cliff Jumper - Willie Makit; Foreword by Betty Wont

If'n he don't, it'll be pulp, but it won't be fiction.

28 The Long Run - Miles Togo
29 The Olympics - Alf Lettix & Jim Nastics
30 Adventures in Gynecology - Drs. Shaver, Lear and Polk

"Sure to stirrup controversy."- Muff Med Weekly
"Instructively geared to pubic consumption."- Comfy Chair Digest
"Covers the whole speculum."- Lip
Schtick Quaterly
"All the inside info."- Eye On The Canal Zone
"Curse you, you fornicators!.. Will there be a seminar? "- Amish Times

31 The Shaky Assassin - Chick N. Alfredo
32 Sexual Surrogacy - Drs. Riezing, Reddy and Abel

Sign on office door: "Welcome... And Come Well."
Sign on back door: "By All Means, Enter. It's Only An Exit If You're Coming The Other Way."

33 Little Bowery Butcher Shop - Will "Slip" Ratzenberger

The cheese in the vermin is on the house (where not a creature still stirs, not even a mouse).

34 The Magic Lugee - Rick O'Shea

Author of the post-Marxist manifesto, "Boogers Not Ballots: A Philosophy of Phlegm Phighting Perphected."

35 Digestive Disorders - Chuck Chunktz and Stew Hurley

"Truly projects the thrust and reach of the problem."- The Gastro Gazette
"Finally, a book that tells the world that splatter doesn't matter."- The Bulimic Broadside
"It practically screams 'do not rebuke the urge to puke.' " - The G(lottis) Spot

36 Miss Goody Two Shoes - Laura Bidin-Citizen

Knew a gal once, folks called Miss Tawdry Shoe Goo. You don' wanna know why.

37 It Took Thirty Minutes - Arfur Nower

"Arfur Nower? ":)). Yer killin' me:). You very sure ya don't tip a few? Ya know, for "medicinal purposes? ";).

38 Circumcision: The Facts - Paul Skinback

"Cutting edge."- Knob Job Monthly
"A much healthier way to go."- Arkansas Chicken Skinners' Union
"Wiwwie won't wike it."- Elmer Pudd

39 The Worst Time of My Life. - Helen Bacc
40 Toucan Do What One Can Can't - Polly Wanakracher

Interpret as you please:).

Haha best not to put my interpretation...but whatever...this made me laugh. A lot! Thank you ;). - Britgirl

41 I Blew It All for Love - Charity Bobbin
42 A Friend for Dinner - Hugh Mann Cooke

Nice to meat you! - Britgirl

Probably the LEAST desirable way of getting one's hambone boiled:(.

43 Creeper's Peepers - Tommy Luken-Glass
44 Neanderthals Among Us? - Harry Butz and Rapunzel Fuhrman
45 Anything Goes. - Miss Elaine E. Uss
46 Top Tips on Do It Yourself - Master Bates

Read this a few times, tried and tested the tips but always ALWAYS ended up knee-deep in mess and exhausted. Threw the book away. What I need is a handy-man.. - Britgirl

Can I... come backstage for your autograph? Need you to leave your stamp. Ha! :) Great show! - Britgirl

Now THAT'S a song that just keeps vibrating (sorry, reverberating) around her head! Need a certain handy man to hum hum huummm...it to her Where is she going to find a man good enough with his equipment?! :). - Britgirl

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47 Big Bottom Gal - Hugh Jass

Oh yeah. Ben Dover. 'Member now. Cheeky guy. Loved to make ya wanna cry. Never could see eye to eye. Sign in the exam room read: "Abandon Draws and Dignity, All Ye Who Enter Here." Call him the Prince of Darkness;).

Hey, now. Dis be the same cat wrote "Rump'll Thrill Skin? " "Valley of the Alley? " "Girl I Wanna Hit Ya Where Mudda Naytcha Split Ya? " "Must Be Jelly, Cause Jam Don't Shake Like that? " Coulda swore dude's name was Ben Dover:)).

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48 The Art of Carpet Laying - Walter Wall

Yes, there truly is an art to letting it fly without sustaining a serious chafe.

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49 The Benefits of Shoplifting - Lester Paye
50 Where Did My Bathwater Go? - Paula Plugg
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