Top Ten Humorous Sayings About Men

Since I know how sensitive some men can be, Yes, you are one of them... ;) I've only opted to using humorous sayings. Hopefully you'll see the funny side.
After all, we must never take humour seriously.

The Top Ten

1 Men are like trees; they take forever to grow up
2 Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and husbands
3 A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist hopes they are

And either way, he's a misogynist. Cain't win. Cain't even break even.

4 An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her

So, yer saying' that when they go from hot to shot, aflame to lame, saucy to mossy, lusty to dusty, midnight thrills to arthritis pills, they're MORE attractive to a guy who digs up moldy stuff for a living? I can buy that.

Liked this one lol. - Martinglez

5 Any man who can drive safely while kissing a girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves

Think it depends on what he's driving, where she's sitting, and what he's kissing. Might need a slide rule for the calculations.

6 A foolish man will tell a woman to shut up. A wise man will tell her that her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her mouth is closed

And how, pray, would he EVER know what she looked like with her mouth closed?

7 To attract a man, you have to wear a perfume called New Car Interior

Now see, Beege, over here in your former back-forty, some of us prefer charred backstrap, saddle leather, and Doe-In-Heat. Mmm-mm.

8 All men are not homeless but some men are home les than others

Ba dum tss - Martinglez

9 Young men want to be faithful and are not. Old men want to be faithless and cannot
10 The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they're too old for it

You're right, Beege. Many a geezer has leapt from a perfectly good plane solely because some gal said he couldn't, only to disintegrate in a puff of smoke and a sad whimper before ever touching the ground.

The Contenders

11 There are only two things wrong with men: everything they do and everything they say
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