Top 10 Most Hypocritical Things that Have Been Said by Fictional Characters

The Top Ten

1 "I can continue to kill criminals whose names are broadcast on the news, WHILE MASQUERADING as a typical high-school student studying for his entrance exams!" - Light Yagami (Death Note)

"But if you DO, in fact, manage to kill them all, won't YOU be the only bastard left? " - Ryuk - xandermartin98

2 "STUPID DOG! You make me look bad!" - Eustace Bagge (Courage The Cowardly Dog)

"STUPID MAN! You make yourself look bad because Courage nearly always ends up having to rescue you, not to mention that you are a grouchy spoiled brat who shows absolutely no appreciation for his own wife and pet whatsoever! " - xandermartin98

3 "Gay people are evil; evil right down to their cold, black hearts, which pump not blood like yours and mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains" - Mr. Garrison (South Park)

Says the guy who later got himself turned into a woman just so that he could be the OTHER type of gay
(and also has Mr. Slave and Big Gay Al as his absolute best friends in the whole wide world) - xandermartin98

4 "Foolish alchemists who have turned their backs on the ways of God shall all be punished" - Scar (FullMetal Alchemist)

Says the guy who also uses alchemy (the deconstruction part of it, at least) to kill his victims - xandermartin98

5 "And God shall SMITE the wicked and plunge them into the fiery PIT!" - Judge Claude Frollo (The Hunchback Of Notre Dame)

Says the bigoted mass murderer who died by falling into a literal fiery pit shortly thereafter - xandermartin98

6 "Indoor camping is for lightweights! SISSIES! Fat tourists and couch potatoes! And me, Heffer and Filburt are NONE of those things!" - Rocko (Rocko's Modern Life)

Lightweights: Rocko (compared to Heffer and Filburt), Filburt (when he's out of his shell and isn't stuffing himself)
Sissies: All three of them
Fat Tourists: Generally all three of them
Couch Potatoes: Probably all three of them, but especially Heffer and (to a lesser extent) Rocko - xandermartin98

7 "Why do I always get the freaks?" - Burgerpants (Undertale)

Says the guy who looks and acts like a rejected beta version of Ren Hoek from Ren & Stimpy - xandermartin98

8 "Your demeanor is that of a pouty child, and apparently, you alienated my favorite daughter, Gamora" - Thanos (Avengers: Infinity War)

He basically spends the entire film throwing a giant pseudo-mature tantrum over his universe being over-populated, and he is/was also a heavily abusive father to both Gamora and (most especially) Nebula alike - xandermartin98

9 "CHEATERS!" - Waluigi (Mario Tennis)

Cheater: one who bends/breaks rules for his/her personal gain - xandermartin98

10 "Watch where you're going, ya FOOL!" - Di Lung (Courage The Cowardly Dog)

Why don't YOU watch where you're going, you JERK? - xandermartin98

The Contenders

11 "SCREW OUR COUNTRY! I WANNA LIVE!" - Kent Mansley (The Iron Giant)
12 "You are mean Arthur Read, M-E-A-N Mean" - Francine Frensky (Arthur)

She says this after Arthur brags about D.W. losing her voice which is very hypocritical for her to say seeing as she constantly acts mean to everyone on a daily basis. - egnomac

13 "I am not your doll" - Rei Ayanami (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

And the female character with the 2nd most rule 34 in her entire franchise - PerfectImpulseX

Says the character who has the 2nd most Rule 34 art of her entire franchise - PerfectImpulseX

14 "Okay, now let's try and get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard!" - Mr. Garrison (South Park)

Says the guy who actually believes that his hand puppets are real people - xandermartin98

15 "Let's get some queers, and some trucks, and have us a good old-fashioned F** DRAG!" - Mr. Garrison (South Park)
16 "Your stupid mind! STUPID!" - The Sword Of Righteousness (Earthworm Jim Cartoon)
17 "Take THAT, you egotistical fool!" - Earthworm Jim (Earthworm Jim Cartoon)

Yeah, Bob (The Killer Goldfish) - xandermartin98

18 "He thinks he's a god...BUT HE'S AS MORTAL AS WE" - Ren Hoek (The Ren & Stimpy Show)
19 "Don't put me on the same level as that VIRGIN! I might...catch...his VIRGINITY!" - Hifumi Yamada (Danganronpa)

Said by the single most pathetically sheltered character in the entire franchise - xandermartin98

20 "I hate liars! Liar, liar, pants on fire!" - Kokichi Ouma (Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony)
21 "You're not perfect" - Trumpet Fetus Monster With No Hands (Courage The Cowardly Dog)
22 "You have awful, AWFUL hair!" - Marge Simpson (The Simpsons)

Said about basically the same hairstyle that she has - xandermartin98

23 "I'm not rushing perfection; I'm rushing YOU!" - Squidward Tentacles (Spongebob Squarepants)
24 "Spongebob has no talent; Mr. Tentacles has all the talent" - Squidward Tentacles (Spongebob Squarepants)

Then how does he explain Spongebob being the actually good artist between the two of them? - xandermartin98

25 "That little BRAT" - Edward Elric (FullMetal Alchemist)

Yup, same guy whose running gag is that he throws a tantrum whenever someone calls him short - xandermartin98

26 "What happened to YOUR body, you FREAK?!" - Barry the Chopper (FullMetal Alchemist)

Said to Alphonse when the two of them are both living armor suits (and Barry is CLEARLY the freaky one) - xandermartin98

27 "Did you HONESTLY THINK that Belle would prefer someone like YOU (the Beast) over someone like ME!?" - Gaston (Disney's Beauty And The Beast)
28 "You're living a FANTASY; this is the real world, and you need to WAKE UP!" - Tighten (MegaMind)

He says while destroying his entire New-York-City-sized hometown just because Roxanne is rejecting him - xandermartin98

29 "You could not live with your own failure; where did that bring you? Back to me" - Thanos (Avengers Endgame)

Says the guy who literally died, then was sent back in time so that the Avengers could kill him again in order to undo his completely fruitless deletion of half of the entire universe's worth of life at the end of Infinity War - xandermartin98

30 "Humans are like a virus" - Agent Smith (The Matrix)
31 "How conceited can you GET?!" - Mettaton (Undertale)
32 "This is supposed to be a family-friendly show; now stand still while I murder you!" - Mettaton (Undertale)
33 "Could a moron PUNCH YOU INTO THIS PIT?!" - Wheatley (Portal 2)
34 "Despite your violent behavior, the only thing that you've managed to break so far is my heart" - GLaDOS (Portal)

Says the robot that released a neurotoxin and killed presumably dozens. - Cyri

And also blatantly betrayed Chell mid-game, almost lethally so - xandermartin98

35 Caillou, How Dare you Do Nothing! That's It, You Are Grounded - Boris (Caillou Gets Grounded)
36 "Would you look at you? WORTHLESS, UGLY FREAKS!" - Tyl Regor (Warframe)
37 "It's obviously too much to ask a man-animal to learn a language as sophisticated as Psychlo!" - Terl (Battlefield Earth)
38 "STUPID HUMANS!" - Terl (Battlefield Earth)
39 "You're not a good person" - GLaDOS (Portal)
40 "Well, well, well! Guess we learned something new about YOU, Jimbo, you freakin' F**! You wanna MAKE OUT or something?" - Mr. Garrison (South Park)
41 "What about the fact that if I believe in this crap, you're gonna go to HELL? Doesn't that bother you a little?" - Mr. Garrison (South Park)
42 "WHY YOU NO GIVE UP?!" - Di Lung (Courage The Cowardly Dog)
43 "You really shouldn't be here" - GLaDOS (Portal)
44 "I don't want to be stuck in a room with a bunch of whiny, immature BRATS!" - Johnny (Johnny Bravo)
45 "Where did your life go so wrong?" - GLaDOS (Portal)
46 "There are no stupid questions; just stupid people" - Mr. Garrison (South Park)
47 "RETARD ALERT" - Mr. Garrison (South Park)
48 "You RETARD!" - Gord's Dad (Freddy Got Fingered)
49 "My dad is such a stupid LOSER!" - Gord Brody (Freddy Got Fingered)
50 “You TAPEWORMS in the intestine of society!” - Edward Bighead (Rocko’s Modern Life)
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