Top 10 Most Illogical Moments in the Bible

GodIsHell
The bible is full of moments that completely defy logic. And I've compiled a list of 10 truly illogical bible moments.

Somebody once told me "Just because some of the stories aren't true doesn't mean the whole book isn't true!" No that's exactly what it means, it ruins its credibility. If someone lies to me, they're a liar and I won't believe anything they have to say. That goes for the bible because I really don't think any of these stories even happened. They're so incredibly far-fetched. If you believe all this stuff listed below actually happened then you need some help because these moments are just too crazy to believe as fact. Also if you have a bible moment to share, feel free to submit it.

The Top Ten

1 The First Two People on Earth (Adam and Eve) Being Told By a Talking Snake to Eat a Fruit That God Said Not to Eat

Keep in mind that these are the first two people on earth so apparently we're all incest babies. But still this is highly illogical. A snake never spoke. Snakes didn't devolve over time and lose their ability to speak. - GodIsHell

The whole story of adam and eve is completely illogical - Solacress

2 Jesus Being Resurrected and Descending Into Heaven

I've already stated many times that a person can't be resurrected and fly into heaven so I'm just gonna leave this item behind and let you think how impossible this truly is. - GodIsHell

Good list, I think you might enjoy my list of bible plot holes - judo8alex

**ASCENDING,** my friend! Not "Descending." - clusium

I'm becoming an Athiest - 445956

3 Moses Parting the Red Sea

This never happened. Try it yourself with an ocean at a beach. You and no one else can do it. - GodIsHell

4 Jesus Walking on Water

Like I said on a previous comment, do I really need to explain how illogical this is? - GodIsHell

5 Jesus Curing Lepers By Touching Them

How is one touch enough to cure a person from leprosy? Humans don't absorb enough power to cure someone from a disease so how is this remotely possible? - GodIsHell

6 God Turning Lot's Wife Into a Pillar of Salt

The Bible doesn't say that it was God Who Turned Lot's wife into a pillar of salt. All it says is, she "looked back and **BECAME** a pillar of salt." When you read the chapters in Genesis, regarding Sodom & Gomorrah carefully, you will probably notice that what was happening, was a volcano had erupted in the vicinity. 'To look back,' often implies staying back or lingering around. Mrs. Lot was looking back & watching in horror, that the home she'd known for years was being destroyed, & people she knew were being killed. Before she knew it, she was overcome with toxinous fumes & salt-encrusting crystals, & she died. - clusium

7 Balaam's Talking Donkey

Thought a talking snake was the only illogical animal in the bible? Well believe it or not there's also a talking donkey. That's right, a talking donkey. This is apparently Balaam's donkey who tells Balaam why he is spanking him. This never happened either so next time when you slap an ass (no pun intended), it won't tell you why you're slapping it, though I in no way encourage animal abuse. - GodIsHell

8 Jesus Being Born from a Virgin Birth

It's not possible. Try ejaculating on a woman's vagina. It still won't work. - GodIsHell

9 Jacob's Stripped Cattle

This one is so painfully illogical. Apparently it's about Jacob wanting striped cattle instead of boring plain-colored cattle. So he decides to paint stripes on some sticks he found and plants them next to his cattle. He thinks that if he can get his cattle to look at the sticks while copulating they'll give birth to striped young, and they end up doing so! Yeah, they really give birth to striped calves just by looking at a pair of striped sticks while doing it. I honestly should've put this at number 1. - GodIsHell

10 Noah's Ark and the Great Flood

Noah apparently had to board 6 million animals aboard an ark he built even though there's not gonna be enough room for them, they're gonna have to need a thousand pounds of food within one year, the flood's gonna cover all the mountains under the heavens by a depth of 20 feet which will put the altitude of the flood waters at 29,055 feet in which all the animals will freeze to death (and those that don't freeze to death will become exhausted when trying to breathe in an atmosphere that has 33% less oxygen and suffocate to death). This is insanely ludicrous. - GodIsHell

The Contenders

11 Jesus Being Resurrected and Ascending Into Heaven
12 God Turning the Water of the Nile River Into Blood
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