Top Ten Best Impractical Jokers Quotes

The Top Ten

1 "I have to call a white guy name Ja'Crispy. I can't use my phone because it converted to Judaism. I've gotta tell him.. it's cuddle o'clock." - Sal

I nearly fell off my chair laughing at this. And I wasn't even ok a chair. - funnyuser

2 "If Ray Ray come around these parts looking for me, you don't go droppin' a dime do you?" - Joe

I love this
joe gatto will forever be my favorite

3 "The fat man flies at midnight." - Q

"What does that mean? " Says kid

4 "LARRY!!!!!!!!!" - Joe

Very popular it makes me laugh every time I hear it!

It's so funny every time I watch it, it makes me laugh

The most iconic for sure!

YES! LARRY IS THE BEST! Where is Larry, anyway?

5 "I can tell.. by looking at your palm.. that you're black." - Joe
6 "Is pumpernickel bread racist?" - Sal
7 "That really brings out your tickle me Elmo." - Q

It just doesn't make any sense but it's so hilarious.

Get the South Park reference? - Turkeyasylum

I've never watched South Park to be honest. You'd have to explain it to me. - LizardKing99

That is so hilarious!

8 "I have 20/20 vision. They call me Barbra Walters... because of my feminine qualities." - Murr
9 "Let dem tit-tays go before you start to blow." - Sal
10 "Is there any difference between Jesus and a blogger?" - Murr

The Contenders

11 "It's a fat Crow, who's come back from the dead to avenge some donuts that someone ate." - Q
12 "Scoopski potatoes." - Joe


13 "Who does a bitch have to kiss around here to get a cream soda?" - Joe
14 "I put my hand in your shirt!" - Sal

Even better that it's a song!

15 "Up your ass and to the left..." - Joe

Been an iconic quote since they first used it and now it’s carried onto season 8

16 "Grapes are my jam." - Sal

Blueberries are my jam too.

17 "Cowabunga! sluts,.." - Q
18 "Welcome to White Castle, bitch." - Sal

This gets me... EVERY time.

This is gold - KingSlayer93316

LMAO I LAUGH every time

19 "Ayyy there mustache." -W

You mean Q?

This is still a good quote from Q though - KingSlayer93316

20 "The fluoride in the water is giving my son bitch t***" - Sal
21 "That bitch, Irene" - Sal

Lmao I love this

22 “LETS GET SEXY” - Sal
23 "Shut your face, grandma!" - Sal


24 "Surfs up AssHat!!" -Q
25 "What's black and white and black and white and black and white and red? A nun falling down the stairs." - Sal

This didn't make the actual cut for the show, but I saw it in the impractical insider. I thought it was funny as hell!

26 Have you seen my wife? Her body looks like a trash bag filled with mango pulp.
27 "I need to see how strong your pimp hand is." - Murr
28 (In Italian) "Hello prostitute, how much?" - Q
29 Bitches be trippin’ - Murr
30 "It's a damn scarecrow!" - Sal
31 "It's like feeding time at the zoo." - Q
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