Top Ten Most Inappropriate Children's Books

The Top Ten

1 Who Cares About Disabled People

I don't like this title I love helping disabled people and help pushing wheel chairs it fun, I would never read this book

Whats with this books title, that's not right

Apparently the author didn't - shadomatrix

The title is inappropriate - trains45

2 Polly Paints a Penis

LOL I laughed really hard at this one. - PhilTheCorgi

Does she paint the girl's parts - Presidentofpotatoes

Sounds like Polly has some serious issues

Polly paints my balls - lilrocketman

3 Who Cares about Elderly People?

This is not right, elderly people are nice, some of them can be rude too, one was rude to me once

This is an inappropriate title, some elderly people are nice - trains45

Just no

I read that book, JUST NO. It's just wrong!

4 Mommy Drinks Because You're Bad

Oh my god

This is why the moms are so rude and talk trash about their children on those dumb mom websites

*Accuracy of Book Title Varies from Child to Child* - Darth-Snorpy

Do kids even know what drinking is before 8?

5 Maggie Goes On a Diet

While health is important this book is messed up and teaches awful messages losing weight for popularity Is no good - Masochismismagic

Well, I haven't read it, but if it says that then it gets my vote. I wish that kind of thing wasn't still around...


It says only thin people can succeed. - RalphBob

6 My Beautiful Mommy

The title sounds like an embracing of incest. And the kid looks like he has an Oedipus complex. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

It promotes plastic surgery. - RalphBob

It is an odd explanation of plastic surgery - Masochismismagic

Promotes plastic surgery

7 Children Are No Match for Fire

I read the title & nearly spat out my bubble tea. - RoseWeasley

OK, this may be a messes up book, but I'll admit the title made me laugh a little. - Brobusky

This sorta made me laugh. But yeah it sounds awful - TwilightKitsune

It sounds terrible but the title is so wrong it's kinda funny.

8 Feelings and How to Destroy Them

Finally, a book for people like me. - BlarchBlaces

Oh my god oh my god OH MYYY GOOOD

The book for evil and demented children. - RalphBob

How to become the future devil

9 Good-Bye Testicles

Uh wow

Wait, this is real?

Is that book fake or real?

Why is this even a thing? - RalphBob

10 Go the F**k to Sleep

Wow there a swear in the title how is this for kids

This book is BAD I mean come on!

I'm using this for my children. - RoseWeasley

I actually listened to this on YouTube. It's weird and great and yet still technically inappropriate. I'd buy this book, but not for my sister or any child. - Merilille

The Contenders

11 The Loneliest Ho In the World

Finally a book that describes me

Why Santa? Why? - RalphBob

You forgot the E in “Ho”.

12 No, David!

I used to read this book as a kid, I remember a page where he was running outside naked the page after he took a bath and overflowed the tub

I remember one page him being naked outside and it showed his butt as well - trains45

I remember this book it was my favorite as a kid - trains45

David: *exists*
Author: NO, DAVID! - RoseWeasley

13 Why is Mommy Moaning?

Because she's giving you a brother.

Because she is having s3x with daddy

Please let this be fake...

It is fake

14 Everything I Want To Do Is Illegal: War Stories from the Local Food Front

I can relate. - RoseWeasley

I must say it is pretty funny though. - RalphBob

Is this satirical? - RiverClanRocks

AKA I'm a really stupid person

15 You Can't Be an Astronaut: It's Just Not Realistic

R.I.P Child's hopes and dreams. - RoseWeasley


How to kill ambition 101 - Masochismismagic

You just shattered a lot of kids dreams - TwilightKitsune

16 The Night Dad Went to Jail: What to Expect When Someone You Love Goes to Jail

I mean, if it explains why he went to jail then it depends but its appropriate - FallenBlaze

Nah, I think with the USA's incarceration rate, this is probably appropriate. - keycha1n

I read this before. It's really weird and it sucks. DON'T READ IF YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR EYES.

Really. Since when do you expect a guide on how to deal with your emotions when Mummy went to jail? - DontMakeARookieMistake

17 Where Willy Went

Great for sex ed.

A book about... A sperm

18 It's Not Going to Get Any Better When You Grow Up

True - RoseWeasley

I agree with the title - FallenBlaze

Sounds harsh

19 Sex is a Funny Word

I never saw a book with sex.

Uhh really?

20 Harpo's Horrible Secret

This is quite dark for a kids book. - Croy987

21 The House That Crack Built
22 The Color of Earth

What's the plot of this book?

So INAPPROPRIATE! A kid in my class read it! He tol me! Disgusting!


Ding dong gooch

23 You're Too Fat to Be a Ballerina
24 The Story of Little Black Sambo


25 Pinky and Rex Get Married

7 year olds cannot get maried. Fact.

26 Mommy Laid an Egg
27 I Wish Daddy Didn’t Drink So Much

Drink a lot of bleach?

28 All My Friends are Dead

I read it & it was hilarious. - RoseWeasley

Push me to the edge

29 Ma! There's Nothing to Do Here! A Word from your Baby-in-Waiting

Mommy I'm bored inside your stomach lemme get out of your vag already!

30 My Big Sister Takes Drugs

And she gets high and shows her ass to dogs

Sounds like your big sister needs to go to rehabilitation quickly. - Swellow

31 Flowers are Pretty, but We'd Make More Money Growing Pot
32 101 Ways to Kill a Zombie

That sounds pretty bizarre

33 Mommie's Hot, You're Not

What to say to someone bullying you. - RoseWeasley

OH! - FallenBlaze

34 The Great Big Funny Book

I will never, ever read this book to my kids because it is often one of the most inappropriate books of the decade. - shelleyduvallfan10

35 Wacky Wednesday
36 Alfie's Home
37 Save the Pearls: Revealing Eden
38 Games You Can Play with Your Pussy
39 Cooking with Pooh


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