Top Ten Insanely Funny P.G. Wodehouse Quotes

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The Top Ten

1 “‘There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself “Do trousers matter?”’ ‘The mood will pass, sir.’”
2 “He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”

This accurately describes my brother. - PositronWildhawk

3 “I’m not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it’s Shakespeare who says that it’s always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.”
4 “The glimpses I had caught of his face from the corner of the eyes had told me that he was grim and resolute, his supply of the milk of human kindness plainly short by several gallons.”
5 “She looked at me like someone who has just solved the crossword puzzle with a shrewd ‘Emu’ in the top right hand corner.”
6 “If you haven’t realised by this time that I love you, and always shall love you, and have never loved anybody else, and never shall love anybody else, you’re a fathead.”

This line sums up Wodehouse's world in a nutshell. - PetSounds

7 “I regard her as the sand in Civilization’s spinach.”
8 “His first emotion was one of surprise that so much human tonnage could have been assembled at one spot."
9 “There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.”
10 “Love is a delicate plant that needs constant tending and nurturing, and this cannot be done by snorting at the adored object like a gas explosion and calling her friends lice.”
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Top Remixes

1. “‘There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself “Do trousers matter?”’ ‘The mood will pass, sir.’”
2. “He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”
3. “I’m not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it’s Shakespeare who says that it’s always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.”
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