Top Ten Jokes About Heavy Metal

The Top Ten

1 Chemistry teacher: "Name 4 heavy metals." student: "Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer and Anthrax".
2 Bruce Dickinson is the best pilot among the singers and the best singer among the pilots

This doesn't need an explanation. - Metal_Treasure

3 An Emo is a bird, a Rapper is a tasty Mexican snack but a metalhead is a metalhead.
4 Why Megadeth wasn't called Megadave?
5 Ozzy got married on 4th of July to memorize it easier

The first part is a fact - he got married on 4th of July. The second part was added by his wife - Sharon. Funny family, eh? - Metal_Treasure

6 Who knew flute was a (heavy) metal instrument ...

It's a joke about Jethro Tull winning the Metal Grammy instead of Metallica. - Metal_Treasure

7 Hansi Kursch doesn't have a great voice - he's got a full choir of great voices.

It's because he sings different vocal lines and it sounds like a choir but actually he is the only singer. He also uses overdubbing to create a huge choir effect. Song with more vocal harmonies and overdubbing:
Blind Guardian - Nightfall, Otherland, The Throne, Curse My Name. - Metal_Treasure

8 Heavy metal singer sing about metals are heavy
9 George Fisher is now a member of the Sesame Street. He's the Cookiegrinder.
10 The music instrument that heavy metal singers use is metal

The Contenders

11 Heavy metal singers have a lot of things made by metal

These are "jokes? " When does the funny begin?

12 Heavy metal songs is heavy
13 Heavy metal singers use too much metal in their music
14 Heavy metal singers love metal

This "joke" sucks.

15 Matt Barlow is the best cop among the singers and the best singer among the cops
16 Heavy metal singer knows how heavy metal is
17 Hansi Kürsch invented metal music in the Middle Ages when he was in a bard metal band
18 What do you say to a dead metal fan. Rust in peace

This is actually clever. I love the fact that it's got a double meaning. - Gg2000

19 Heavy metal singers don't use plastic, wood instruments
20 Heavy metal songs are 100% metal and 100% heavy
21 Heavy metal loves the colors of metal
22 How do remove your corpse paint? You take Abbath!
23 Blind Guardian wrote all 'Lord of the Rings' books before he was in Blind Guardian
24 Alice in Chains aren't a heavy metal band because they are with more aluminum

Correct, aluminum is not from the group of heavy metals. This is actually a quote that became a joke - Alice in Chains themselves said it and this is how they see their music. - Metal_Treasure

25 Chuck Norris watches every night under his bed if George Fisher's neck hiding there
26 My favorite Slayer Riffs are 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0
27 Interviewer: "Why should we hire you?" Metalhead: "SLAAAYEEER!!!!" Interviewer: "You're hired."
28 A djentleman at tea time: "I need Meshugga."
29 What Do You Call An Iron Maiden Album In China? Iron Made in China
30 Metal detectors go off the scale when metalheads walk through.
31 Metalheads going through a metal detector set it off.
32 Why did Cliff Burton cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by his own tour bus.
33 System of a Down new album. Don’t get it? Exactly.
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