Top Ten Jokes About Progressive Rock/Metal Music

cjWriter1997
Some I made up myself, some I took from others. Don't take this list seriously, jokes are jokes, not facts. Please feel free to add your own jokes related to the progressive genre.

The Top Ten

1 Q: How does an Animals as Leaders fan headbang? A: Very Carefully

Only true AAL fans headbang in 21/16 time - cjWriter1997

LOL, that was a great joke. - Metal_Treasure

2 How a Rush fan remembers the alphabet, "A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W Y Y Z"

LOL, of course the alphabet has two Ys (and no X? ). I loved that reference to YYZ. - Metal_Treasure

3 Q: What's an Alcoholic's favorite progressive rock album? A: Wish You Were Beer

Other notable favorites:
10,000 Shots
In the Cork of the Champagne Drink
Hard Side of the Booze
Moving Liquor - cjWriter1997

The Boozer That Refused to Drink (and Other Stories) - mainly for alcoholics in rehab. - San_Lakshitha

LOL, that was brilliant! - Metal_Treasure

4 4/4 time: The Kryptonite of Progressive Music

Pop song uses 4/4, no one bats an eye
Prog band uses 4/4, everyone loses their minds - cjWriter1997

Great list, I love it! - Metal_Treasure

5 Q: Do you like Prog Music? A: Yes
6 What's the difference between a progressive musician and an accountant? A: The accountant knows he is boring.
7 Q: How can you tell a prog metal drummer's at the door? A: The knocking is in 21/32 time.

And never in 4/4 - Metal_Treasure

8 If I had to describe Porcupine Tree's lyrics in 3 words it be "Serial Killer Fetish"

If you know anything about some of the band's lyrical content you'd get this. - cjWriter1997

"It's so erotic when your makeup runs" - San_Lakshitha

9 Q: Where do failing prog musicians go? A: Love Beach

This is hilarious! One of my favorite jokes on this list. - Gg2000

10 At this point the new Tool album may as well be the soundtrack to Half Life 3

Of course the obligatory new Tool album joke was gonna be included - cjWriter1997

The Contenders

11 Q: How many prog musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one, but it takes them 25 minutes to do it
12 Q: What do you call a prog drummer in a punk band? A: Fired

LOL, the opposite would be also very true:
Q: What do you call a punk drummer in a prog band? A: Fired - Metal_Treasure

13 Q: Why is 13 never hungry in a prog song? A: Because 13/8 a lot
14 Q: How many progressive rock/metal jokes are there? A: None. They are all true.
15 Q: What's the favorite band of creationists? A: Genesis

That's very good! - Metal_Treasure

16 Between the Buried and Me, the band that can make you headbang like crazy one second and then sip tea to some lounge music the other

Not to mention make you dance to some swing jazz and then diddy up to some Bluegrass as well - cjWriter1997

17 Q: What do you get if you cross progressive music with reggae? A: Regressive music.
18 During a songwriting session James LaBrie asked John Myung what he was playing at a specific song part and John Myung replied "Bass".

That's a real story - bassist John Myung is a fun individual and often gets the entire band laughing - Metal_Treasure

19 Q: Do you like Yes? A: Yes
20 Yeah sure, Canada gave us Simple Plan and Justin Beiber, but they also gave us Devin Townsend so I say that's a fair trade off

I would probably rename it to: Yeah sure, Canada gave us Simple Plan and Justin Beiber, but they also gave us Rush, Voivod, and Devin Townsend so I say that's a fair trade off
(included only prog artists) - Metal_Treasure

Not convinced? Well outside of prog we got bands like Cryptopsy, Annihilator and Voivod too - cjWriter1997

21 Q: What's the definition of an optimist? A: A progressive metal musician with a mortgage.
22 Q: What's the difference between God and John Petrucci? A: Nothing much except God isn't that good at guitar

I would switch God with Jesus. - CloudInvasion

I am a firm believer of John Petruccism - cjWriter1997

23 Q: What is progressive rock/metal music? A: Sounds arranged by the bands, incorrectly interpreted by the reviewers and ignored by the audience.
24 Q: How does a prog metal fan headbang? A: Oddly (only in odd time signatures).
25 Q: What do you call a punk drummer in a prog band? A: Fired
26 If two things are parallel, they never meet. Example: Periphery, fans over the age of 14
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List Stats

26 listings
27 days old

Top Remixes

1. Q: How many prog musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one, but it takes them 25 minutes to do it
2. Q: Where do failing prog musicians go? A: Love Beach
3. What's the difference between a progressive musician and an accountant? A: The accountant knows he is boring.
Gg2000
1. Q: How does an Animals as Leaders fan headbang? A: Very Carefully
2. How a Rush fan remembers the alphabet, "A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W Y Y Z"
3. Q: How can you tell a prog metal drummer's at the door? A: The knocking is in 21/32 time.
Metal_Treasure
1. 4/4 time: The Kryptonite of Progressive Music
2. Q: Do you like Prog Music? A: Yes
3. Q: How does an Animals as Leaders fan headbang? A: Very Carefully
cjWriter1997

WRemix

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