Top Ten Jokes Only Smart People Will Understand

Cazaam
If you understand these jokes you are one of the smart people in society. Take that as a compliment as there doesn't seem to be many around.

The Top Ten

1 Two scientists walk into a pub. The first says "I'll have some H2O." The second says "I'll have some H2O too!" The second scientist dies.

Laugh out loud. I finally get it! Guess that means I'm average when it comes to intelligence... I feel depressed... - Alpha101

Why will someone die after drinking hydrogen peroxide? It is a bleach - yatharthb

Hydrogen peroxide is a very powerful oxidising agent, actually too powerful an oxidising agent for the human body to handle. - Kiteretsunu

Ha! Too bad for him... - CityGuru

Hydrogen Peroxide smells good, though.

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2 Did you hear about the man whose temperature dropped down to absolute zero? Don't worry, he's 0K now.

I get it,I'm smart - Nateawesomeness

As if it's okay to get a body temperature of -273 degrees celsius...lol

Kiteretsnu, you got number 8 wrong there. - Cazaam

3 A photon goes up to an airport security officer and the officer says "You got any luggage?" The photon responds with "No, I'm traveling light."

Some of these actually made me laugh out loud - LizardKing99

4 Entropy isn't what it used to be...
5 What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Well, you know the answer already!

6 A Roman walks into a pub and asks for a martinus. The bartender says "Don't you mean a martini?" The roman replies with "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

How about an illuminati drink, - Nateawesomeness

7 Argon walks into a pub and orders a beer. The bartender responds with "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here" There is no reaction.

Wow, this is really funny! - Turkeyasylum

8 There's a band called 1023 MB. They don't have any gigs yet.

This is the only one I get

Made me laugh so hard!

This is the only one here that I hadn't heard before, and I must say, it's bloody hilarious! Thanks for this, C. - PositronWildhawk

Theirs also a band called the meme band,best band I've ever heard - Nateawesomeness

9 Mr. Algebra is having trouble finding his "X". If only I knew "Y"...

That's because he adds trouble, subtracts pleasure, divides attention and multiplies ignorance. Simple as that. He's also the arithmetic man, you know.

It's becuase he can't C,since their R many parasites N his I - Nateawesomeness

10 I heard Oxygen and Magnesium were going out with each other. I was like OMg!

The Contenders

11 Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the same side
12 Why did the chicken cross the road, to get to the other side

... OH! B-because the chicken wanted to go to the other s-side! Right?

13 A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his pants mended. The tailor asks, "Euripides?" The professor replies, "Yes. Eumenides?"

Try saying this in an Italian accent. Those names are two historic people.

14 What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?

Should be simple, just think

15 A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5 feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5 feet to the right. The statistician yells, "We got 'em!"
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15 listings
4 years, 221 days old

Top Remixes

1. Did you hear about the man whose temperature dropped down to absolute zero? Don't worry, he's 0K now.
2. Two scientists walk into a pub. The first says "I'll have some H2O." The second says "I'll have some H2O too!" The second scientist dies.
3. A photon goes up to an airport security officer and the officer says "You got any luggage?" The photon responds with "No, I'm traveling light."
Cazaam

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