Top Ten Jokes Only Smart People Will Understand

If you understand these jokes you are one of the smart people in society. Take that as a compliment as there doesn't seem to be many around.
The Top Ten
1 Two scientists walk into a pub. The first says "I'll have some H2O." The second says "I'll have some H2O too!" The second scientist dies.

Laugh out loud. I finally get it! Guess that means I'm average when it comes to intelligence... I feel depressed...

Why will someone die after drinking hydrogen peroxide? It is a bleach

Hydrogen Peroxide smells good, though.

Nerdy jokes are the best

2 Did you hear about the man whose temperature dropped down to absolute zero? Don't worry, he's 0K now.

As if it's okay to get a body temperature of -273 degrees celsius...lol

I get it,I'm smart

3 A photon goes up to an airport security officer and the officer says "You got any luggage?" The photon responds with "No, I'm traveling light."

Some of these actually made me laugh out loud

4 Entropy isn't what it used to be...

This is pure genius

5 What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Well, you know the answer already!

6 A Roman walks into a pub and asks for a martinus. The bartender says "Don't you mean a martini?" The roman replies with "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

If you studied Latin you'll understand this one

How about an illuminati drink,

7 Argon walks into a pub and orders a beer. The bartender responds with "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here" There is no reaction.

Wow, this is really funny!

8 There's a band called 1023 MB. They don't have any gigs yet.

This is the only one here that I hadn't heard before, and I must say, it's bloody hilarious! Thanks for this, C.

That made me laugh so hard

This is the only one I get

Made me laugh so hard!

9 Mr. Algebra is having trouble finding his "X". If only I knew "Y"...

That's because he adds trouble, subtracts pleasure, divides attention and multiplies ignorance. Simple as that. He's also the arithmetic man, you know.

10 I heard Oxygen and Magnesium were going out with each other. I was like OMg!
The Contenders
11 Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the same side

I got most of these but this one is actually funny.

12 Rene Descartes walks into a bar the bartender asks him "would you like a drink" he replies "I think not" and vanishes.
13 Why did the chicken cross the road, to get to the other side
14 A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his pants mended. The tailor asks, "Euripides?" The professor replies, "Yes. Eumenides?"

Try saying this in an Italian accent. Those names are two historic people.

15 What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?

Should be simple, just think

16 A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5 feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5 feet to the right. The statistician yells, "We got 'em!"
BAdd New Item